Sakura, Mono no Aware
by reminiscent-afterthought
Summary: He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...
1. Prologue

**Author's Notes**

This prologue takes place between episode 50 and the epilogue of Frontier. I didn't go into detail about the hospital stuff this time around. because that's not really important since he was hospitalised because of his tumble down the stairs. The detailed hospital scenes comes later on.

And this idea was bugging me for awhile, ever since I got sick during the school year and was forced to stay in the sickbay. But that's another story. Just where the inspiration came from; being unable to do anything is no fun at all.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Prologue**

He sat still, casted arm pulled tight to his chest and held there by a sling, while the Doctor fitted a strap around the other. The fall had resulted in a fracture below the left elbow (which was a bit of a problem since he was left-handed, aside from the expected complications), but aside from that and the slight concussion he had received from the fall, there was no other lasting damage.

Given his history though, the hospital was taking no chances. Hence he was stuck in the currently partially inclined bed until he was declared fit to leave.

And hence the examination he was going through at the current moment.

The strap was removed and the observations jotted down, before the Doctor rescanned his notes and gave an approving nod. 'You're free to leave Kimura-kun,' he stated. 'No extraneous activities for a week or so, and definitely no more marathon runnings because you were late meeting someone. You can go back to school the following week, but no PE until next month. Understood?'

He stared sternly at his patient, who nodded and lowered his gaze slightly. 'Hai,' he murmured. 'I'll take it easy.'

'See that you do. I don't want to have to see you here again till your next checkup.'

Kouichi responded once more in the affirmative, and Doctor Kawano Hajime exited along with his mother to sign the release forms.

Once he was sure they were gone, he looked at the slip of paper he held, containing the numbers and addresses of the best friends he had ever had, and hastily slipped to him before the Doctor had thrown them out of the hospital before his mother's arrival.

Then he smiled slightly and tucked it away into a pocket, before breathing a sigh of relief at the prospect of going home.

* * *

'He still doesn't know?' Hajime asked his colleague. Seeing as Tomoko worked at the same hospital, though her position was much lower, the two had a work-associated relationship, and as the said Doctor had looked after her son since he was born, he was rather familiar with the condition.

'No.'

'Tomoko-san, you will have to tell him someday. And it is dangerous, for him not knowing. The next time, he could very well die.'

'I know.' Her voice broke softly as tears worked their way upwards. 'I know his heart is weakening, that one day it will collapse under the strain, sooner if he pushes too far, but I can't take his freedom away from him! It means too much to me to see him happy to take that away from him.'

The greying man put a hand onto her shoulder. 'Is it worth his life though?'

She shook his head. 'But there is not much hope; there is no way I can afford it, and even if Kousei agreed, the risk is too great.' She paused for a moment, considering her next words, before uttering them. 'I'd rather he be happy though and life as long as he can, then lie still and wait for death to catch up to him in misery. He would hate that more than I would. There is too much of his father in him.'

'And of his mother too.' The stern doctor laughed slightly at the look he received. 'I've known you, whether as a patient, mother or worker, for long enough.'

'I suppose you have.' She gave him a watery smile in return, accepting the papers he held out to her and pulling out a pen from her coat. 'I want him to be happy,' she repeated softly, almost to herself as she signed her son out of the hospital. 'But I'm scared.'

'That is understandable. But it is a brave decision you made.'

'I hope he never finds out of this. I don't want it to take away his freedom...or his hope.'

'If he does, it will not be from us,' the Doctor promised. 'But what will you do if he does?'

'I just hope he will forgive me for keeping this from him...'

'I'm sure he will. You are his mother, and he cares deeply for you. And I'm positive he will realise that you had his best interests at heart.'

'I hope so Doctor. It's just a burden I wish he didn't have to bear.'

'So do all who bear it. All you can do is hold to hope.'

She wiped away her lingering tears and nodded, handing back the papers.

'Put a smile on your face,' Doctor Kawano advised. 'You don't want your son to suspect something.'

'He is rather insightful,' Tomoko sighed. 'I'm sure he has already noticed something. But he never asks.'

'He's a good kid,' the other agreed. 'Still, put that smile on.'

She did so.


	2. Meeting his Mother

**Author's Notes**

Well, here's a new chapter.**  
**

Timing right now is towards the end of spring, so that's April. By the fourth chapter, we'll be somewhere in summer, which is probably the longest arc. From this, for this story I'm assuming that the fourth season took place right at the end of the school year, where school had finished sometime between Kouichi's following Kouji part. The actual digital world stuff took place at the beginning of the holiday, and Kouichi was released from the hospital a little in. Because Kouichi wasn't supposed to be doing anything strenuous, by the time he could meet up with his brother, school was about to start up again. They all talked on the phone though (when parents aren't around of course).

Nishikoyama is located in the Meguro District, which is the same district in which Jiyogaoka station in which Takuya, Kouji and Kouichi take a train to Shibuya station. Therefore I assumed that both Takuya and Kouji have to live in the general vicinity, hence somewhere in the Meguro ward. Kouichi lives far away, if the CD drama is any indication, so I have him and his mother live in Minami-ku, (the one in Kyoto) which is more working class than the other provinces and it four train lines (and a local transport) and about 486 km distance, so it's pretty far to make it near impossible to keep on travelling from one to another too often (as it sounds like in the Drama). It is a possible distance despite how far it sounds because one of the trains is an inter-city express and would run around 161km per hour, covering the distance between Kyoto and Tokyo in roughly three hours. The other connections would take around ten minutes with no delays. It's in the range of distance people round here travel about twice a week/fortnight for university. Anything over an hour and a half are generally not taken twice a day when you're studying tertiary education...well, as far as I know in any case.

By the way, updates will be slowing down thanks to tertiary education commencing (after applications and interviews and all that). I'll still try to update as often as possible, but I can't guarantee anything. So just bear with me. And enjoy this chapter.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Meeting his Mother**

'Now, how are we going to go about this?' Kouji asked, leaning against the wall of Nishikoyama's local grocery store once his brother _finally _showed up.

'I have no idea,' the elder twin panted, doubled over to catch his breath even if he hadn't really run too far. He had after all been eager to see his twin, but still, it was only ten blocks at most from the train station, so why did it feel like he had run a marathon?

'You okay?' That was Kouji again, in over-protective big brother mode. Ironic, as it was the other twin who was the elder one, and who should be coddling his younger sibling. But the image of Kouji being pampered to the point of being dependant for his every whim was so amusing that a short burst of laugher fell from his lips.

'What's funny?' Now his tone sounded genuinely confused, though he supposed that if it were Takuya, he'd probably be on the receiving end of a death glare. It was just the way the two of them were.

'You being pampered,' came the amused reply as he straightened up. As it was, both were pretty independent, in their own way.

The younger twin fixated the elder with an odd look. 'What has that got to do with anything?'

'You asking if I was okay,' the other replied.

'Meaning?'

Kouichi just smiled.

'Okay, fine. Keep your secrets.'

He just chucked, before reminding his brother of the original question.

'I asked you that.'

The elder twin joined his brother on the wall, backpack slung over one shoulder while the same one sprouted the sling on the opposing, casted, arm.

'When are you getting that thing off?' Kouji asked, looking at the doodles, courtesy of the six ex-legendary warriors and their families, that covered the otherwise white surface.

'Another week,' the elder twin sighed. 'And 'kaa-san's taking me to the park after that.'

'Just you and her?'

'Yeah. You know, mother and son thing.' Kouichi paused for a minute there, thinking over his statement. 'Why don't you come while we're there? It's probably the most neutral setting we'll find.'

'Won't I be disrupting you two?' Kouji asked, a little touched by the offer.

'Not at all,' the other reassured. ''kaa-san will be happier once she knows you're happy and healthy.' Then he thought a moment. 'We could try the twin-switch...no, that won't work.'

'Why not?'

'Hair, eyes, skin, clothes and the arm which is going to need therapy after getting out of that cast.'

'That's no reason for it not to work. After all, we're not pretending to be each other. I'm just sneaking into the...um, picnic?'

'Well, it might work,' the other mused. 'Provided we don't wind up giving 'kaa-san a heart attack.'

'I think any method is going to do the same,' the other said dryly. 'Is there a such thing as having a safe method of reuniting a split family? Besides, it was your suggestion.'

'Point.'

They were silent again after that. 'What about 'tou-san?' Kouji asked hesitantly.

Kouichi didn't answer.

'Don't you want to know him?' the younger twin pressed.

'I guess,' the other said hesitantly. 'I mean, I do, but it's just that...well...I...'

The fact that he couldn't force the words told the other the reason. 'It's okay, I understand. We'll deal with that milestone later.'

'Yeah,' the elder twin still sounded slightly apprehensive. 'Later.'

'Why were you late anyway?' Kouji asked, gesturing to his brother as he weaved through the store and emerged from the other exit.

'I wasn't,' the other replied. 'I told you I was leaving at eight.'

The younger twin stopped walking. 'You mean it took you over three hours to get here? How?'

'I had to take the JR Kyoto Line from Nishiōji Station to Kyoto, then the Tōkaidō Shinkansen like to Tokyo station, then the Yamanote Line to Meguro Station, and then the Meguro Line to Senzoku station. And then the local route.'

Kouji gaped open mouthed at him. 'You live in _Kyoto_.'

'Yeah.'

'You should have told me.'

'You never asked.'

'Well it never occurred to me you lived halfway across the island and still managed to stalk me.'

'Don't exaggerate,' Kouichi muttered, though he was blushing a bit at the stalking comment. 'It's not halfway across the island.'

'But this is going to be a problem for us to keep seeing each other,' Kouji frowned. 'That's too far to keep travelling. And because of the inter-city train, there's no point in arranging a middle-point.'

'There's no harm in every now and then,' the elder pointed out. 'Of course, that'll be an entire day trip. But with the cost of the train passes and homework once school starts, we've probably got one or two trips per semester. Excluding this one thanks to our birthdays.'

'Let me guess,' the other quipped. 'Your birthday money went towards train passes.'

'Yeah.'

They walked silently for awhile, weaving through the busy streets, before resuming their original conversation.

'So next week. Kamogawa Park, around twelve? I'm getting the cast removed at eleven.'

'Yeah, twelve's fine. But what the heck do I say?'

'You're asking me?'

* * *

He had figured waking up in the hospital after being killed by Lucemon was probably his worst hospital experience, as prior was a rather bad case of pneumonia which had kept him in the bed for two weeks, but getting that cast off had to be a close second, as far as things went of course.

After all, is it appealing watching a _very_ sharp blade about to slice off your arm?

'Relax kid,' the doctor said reassuringly, seeing Kouichi's apprehensive stare. 'I've done this plenty of times, and haven't so much as lost a skin cell.'

The blade lowered, and his breath caught, heart racing within his chest, despite his mother gripping his other hand. The sound was rather grating, even worse than the dentist's, even worse than all the crazy adventures in the digital world, and he couldn't even focus on anything else, much less the blade inching closer and closer to his arm.

'There,' the doctor's voice suddenly made itself heard as the grinding stopped. 'All done.'

He opened his eyes, only then realising he had squeezed them shut, staring at the two halves of the plaster that now lay on the operating table, then at the skinny bag of bones and skin between them.

'_That_'s my arm,' he all but squeaked, fighting to calm his heart now that black spots were showing themselves, taking deep breaths to slow his over-excited organ. Nothing could have prepared him for that, much less a slight warning from a surgeon he had never met before till that day. 'It will be normal again, right?'

'Of course sweetie,' his mother reassured, as the doctor splintered the arm and slipped it into a lighter, and more comfortable sling. 'With physio.'

Then she chucked at the grimace the prospect of physiotherapy received, but inwardly, she was both sad and glad.

Glad because the dislike meant less chances being taken. Sad because it had to be that way.

'Ready to leave?' she asked, swallowing it all so as to not worry her son. 'There's a picnic waiting for us.'

He glanced up at the time. It was just a quarter past eleven, so there was plenty of time for them to settle before the bombshell was dropped.

'Yep,' he replied, using his good arm to grab his coat and push himself off the table as his mother released her death grip.

* * *

It was ten minutes to midday when he arrived at his brother and mother's picnic location in Kamogawa Park, and he was as nervous as all hell. After all, he was going to meet the mother he had thought to be dead for the last nine years for the first time in his memory, and he didn't even know how she would react. Hell, he didn't even know how _he_ was going to react, and in all consideration he should know that better than anyone.

He peeked out from behind the tree that secluded him, and saw Kouichi look up from the mat and meet his gaze, arm bound lighter than it had been previously but still in a sling. He smiled a little, before leaning over to whisper something to his mother, and then standing and leaving her in favour for him.

'Don't look so nervous,' he advised, noting the uncomfortable expression. 'Everything will be fine.'

Then before Kouji could reply to that, his brother seized his wrist and dragged him over to their mother. And together, they stood side by side as the elder bid the older woman to open her eyes.

She did so, and for the first time in nine years saw her precious sons standing together, side by side. She stood, albeit a little wobbly, and as Kouichi moved away a little, she reached out for her other son, almost as if he were a dream to vanish at any moment.

'Kouji...' she whispered. 'Is that really you?'

He nodded, offering his hands to be grasped. ''kaa-san?'

She took him into her embrace, and he didn't argue, simply enjoying his mother's warmth and love that had been his heart's desire and yet denied for so long.

'I never thought I'd see you again,' she cried, tears of happiness dripping into his hair.

With that, he knew he never had to worry about his mother never wanting him.

She pulled away a little while later, though still holding her youngest son as though afraid he would vanish, now focusing her attention to the other who stood on the sidelines.

'How did you know?' Tomoko asked.

Kouichi shuffled his feet nervously. 'Obaa-chan told me,' he murmured in reply. 'At the hospital. And I had to know.'

'Of course you did,' she sighed sadly, looking from one son to another, to the differences that had amounted from the years the two had spent apart.

There would be a time when that healed. For now, they were taking the second step.

'Come here,' she gestured, taking one hand from the younger and offering it to her elder.

He came, and the three shared their familial embrace.

They'd worry about the other side another day.


	3. Family Complete

**Author's Notes**

Another one of those tying loose family threads together, so I've chosen to simply thread bits and pieces of the process together myself instead of presenting a flowing and coherent line. Several reasons for that: firstly, it's not the point of the story and therefore not necessary. Secondly, the main points are mentioned anyway, and it would be a little redundant to repeat the same story line over and over (there are after all only so many ways to present a sigle situation, and this situation slightly pertains to the one in some of my other future/past stories). Thirdly, all the characters in this chapter show up in later chapters as well, including the OCs, so the main purpose of this chapter was actually to set the stage. So where things don't flow too well in terms of character, that's why.

That's it from me I think, so enjoy.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Family Complete**

'I'm going to talk to him tonight,' Kouji muttered to his brother through the mouthpiece, balancing the receiver between his shoulder blade and ear as he twisted his ponytail around the index finger of his opposite hand.

Kouichi understood without further explanation. None was needed, as even if the time the two had physically spent together was short, the bonds formed between them, from the clashes between the wayward darkness and light to the fusion of the two greatest powers in the universe as one, was strong enough to forge a connection as though since birth, or perhaps stronger. It didn't matter in the physical sense (except for one last hurdle to overcome) that they had spent years apart, because all barriers were broken by the trials of the Digital World, and neither would trade that journey for the world and all in it.

'What will you say?' he asked his brother quietly.

'I-I don't really know,' the other admitted. 'At some stage I was angry, but then I thought about it and realised if I was mad at him, I'd have to be mad at 'kaa-san too.'

'And a great deal other people,' Kouichi sighed. 'However not those who were actually blamed. Hatred knows no bounds huh.'

'Hatred's not the only thing.'

'True.' A moment of silence perforated the line between them as both were occupied by their own thoughts, before the slightly elder of the two spoke again. 'Give them both a chance. We owe them that at least.'

'Both?'

There was a noise of general sheepishness before Kouichi responded. 'Neither of us got around to asking 'kaa-san.'

A pause, then: 'Ask her tonight.'

'Can't. Night-shift.'

'Tomorrow then.'

Another pause, this time a tad more uncomfortable. 'Yeah,' he finally agreed. 'Tomorrow.'

Kouji caught the hesitation. 'Aren't you curious?'

'It's not that,' the other mumbled, even though he was in no danger of being overheard. 'I grew up knowing my parents were divorced, but I never asked why since I was...around four I think. Before that, I'd wait for 'tou-san to come home, sitting on the park bench and thinking he'd appear around the corner before giving up each day and coming home. One day I stayed out too late and got sick, a seemingly normal cold that developed into pneumonia. 'kaa-san cried a lot that day; she was afraid she had lost me too, so then I gave up on 'tou-san, and it was just the two of us and obaa-san. Every time that question pops up in my mind, I just see her crying face and stop.' There was the soft whispers of him breathing into the receiver before he finished. 'I guess I can't let go of the past. Even little things like that.'

'Whoever said you had to?' the younger twin asked, letting go of his hair with the awkward situation behind them (or in front, depending on the perspective). 'Just build a future from the past you have. After all, it's your past that makes you...well, you.'

'That's true,' the other mused. 'Life's not a tale that can be rewritten or changed when we please. It's better that way though.'

'It's the point,' Kouji said plainly, and Kouichi had to laugh.

* * *

Kouichi fiddled around with the combination on his locker, quite unsuccessfully as it needed two functional hands to open. It was his first day back after getting the cast off, and so far all the arm had managed to do was help support his books. Seriously, his other arm had to handle the buttons of his uniform and shoelaces...but it couldn't handle the locker combination.

He tried one more time, and succeeded only in dropping his books.

'Need some help?' an amused voice sounded behind him. 'Holy-Is that really your arm?'

'Hello to you to,' Kouichi grinned, leaning down to pick up his books, attempting with recently broken arm and failing and so resorting to using it for support. 'My locker won't open.'

'Like the last few weeks,' Oota Akihiro grinned, opening the door in a matter of seconds. 'And to think, I still don't know your combination.'

'I for one wouldn't trust you with it,' Samurakami Minoru's voice cut in, the blonde himself appearing a second later. 'Too much an advantage in the prank war.'

'Which Kouichi's not even a part of,' Kichida Yoshiko laughed. 'So that arguments rather invalid.'

'What prank war?' the black-haired boy asked. 'What else have I missed that you lot haven't said?'

The two brunettes laughed, while the blonde twiddled his thumbs innocently. 'Well,' Minoru began. 'I pranked Akihiro, and he retaliated, which earned him a day suspicion, so now he's out for revenge.'

'Seriously?'

Yoshiko snatched the other's books away, stacking them with her own as the other's protest were easily shoved aside. 'Get what you need from your locker and come on. We'll be late for class.'

After school, the four friends headed over to Akihiko's house to work on the latest humanities assignment.

'So, what are we doing for this stupid research project anyway?' said blonde complained, only to immediately afterwards duck a hand from the feisty blue eyed girl.

'Come on,' he continued, skipping a few feet ahead and turning to walk backwards so he could look at the other three. 'Honestly, where are we going to get a real life drama story from? And out of all the topics, why this stupid one?'

'You know,' Minoru smirked, turning sideways to look at Kouichi who got a look of realisation on his face. 'We have one right-'

'Don't even think about it,' the ex-warrior of darkness said flatly. 'I'm regretting ever telling you all...'

'Oh come on,' the brunette grinned. 'It's the perfect story.'

'Well I don't want mine going public.'

'Well...' Yoshiko mused to herself. 'We could just use the journal we swiped.' She pulled out an ordinary looking notebook which the other immediately recognised. 'It's got all the information in here...'

'It does not,' Kouichi yelled (luckily, not too loud), blushing. '_I_ don't even have the details yet. Besides, why do you even have that?'

'To blackmail you,' the girl grinned, taking off as the raven took up chase. 'But don't worry, I haven't read it...yet.'

'Give that back!'

The two remaining looked at each other. 'Should we stop him?'

'Nah. Yoshiko will still be in one piece. Chances are, he'll collapse from exhaustion before he catches her anyway.'

'Too true.'

'But we really should follow. They'll be hell to find in this crowd.'

'True.'

And with that, the two leisurely trekked after the rest of their little foursome.

* * *

'What a surprise meeting you here,' Hasegawa Tatsuya said, having bumped into a fellow work-mate in Minami. 'What brings you here?'

'Business,' Minamoto Kousei replied. 'And you?'

'A holiday actually,' the older man sheepishly admitted. 'My son wanted to see the Chiba Lotte Marines baseball team play.'

'Lotte Urawa Stadium?'

'Hai. But he's playing with his mother right now. I'm getting too old to be running after the ball.'

To the side, Kousei noticed a pair run past, a female, followed by a very familiar male which caused the divorced and remarried man to immediately shoot out an arm and grab the other, causing the boy to stumble, followed by the girl who the other had managed to grab the sleeve of.

'Why are you running Kouichi?' he demanded, before his brain caught up with his actions and he realised he was talking to the son he had surrendered custody over nine years ago, and who probably either didn't remember him or hated him. Or both. (it was one of those times where one neglected the third opinion delivered consequently by a third party).

The brunette stared at the man, before dropping to kick him in the shins, Kouichi luckily catching her before the jab actually hit. 'You freaky stalker, you don't go grabbing-'

'Yoshiko,' Kouichi interrupted, torn between confusion, confliction, amusement and a lack of breath. 'That's my father.'

Said father was extremely relieved to hear no hatred in the tone. Said girl however looked very awkward, especially since she couldn't escape with a hand still gripping her uniform.

'Oh...umm...how about you let go of me?'

Kouichi blushed awkwardly (he was already red so it was a little hard to tell) and released his grip, letting the girl scamper behind the remaining two who chose that moment to rock up.

Suffice to say, it was a rather awkward situation, especially when Akihiro brought up the project again.

'Minamoto-san,' he began. 'Can you help us with a project? See, we need to write a report on a real life family situation, sort of like the dramas on TV, and we're having a little trouble convincing Kouichi to let.'

'Of course,' Minoru rolled his eyes. 'His mother already gave us permission so we don't technically need his approval.'

'She what?' Kouichi gaped, momentarily forgetting about the other company. 'She probably planned this.'

'Right,' Yoshiko grinned. 'Now that that's settled, meet us at Akihiro's house, okay?'

To Kousei and the other man, she bowed and introduced them all, then left quickly with the other two boys in tow before the last managed to work out her plan and splutter rather useless inhibitions (the journal was momentarily forgotten).

'You've met Kouji, haven't you,' Kousei stated, not really asking, looking at his son who was _not_ looking at him, but rather in the direction his friends had left in, and then the ground. 'And he met your...his...mother.'

'Hai,' the other murmured, not giving any details.

'What did you do to your arm?' was the next question, seeing as the arm he held was in a sling for one, and rather limp for another.

'Broke it,' was the reply.

'A month ago?'

'Hai.'

'So you were the friend Kouji mentioned was in the hospital.' A pause. 'Wait a sec, you died?' Evidently, the younger twin had left out anything pertaining to the digital world, including the whole 'falling down the stairs' fiasco.

Both his remaining companions jumped at the sudden outburst.

'What were you doing? Why didn't anyone tell me? Why-?'

'Calm down Minamoto-san,' Tatsuya laughed, placing a hand on the other's shoulder. 'You're making a scene. And give the boy a chance to ask his own questions.'

He stopped, and both adults looked at the child shuffling his feet and still breathing deeply from the short sprint.

'Why?' he asked eventually, and so quietly that they barely heard. 'Why were we kept apart?'

'I believe this is a family conference,' the greying man announced, moving away. 'An eight year old and his ball await.'

He bowed to the two, said his farewells and vanished, leaving father and son on the footpath together.

Kousei rubbed his brow, releasing the arm he held which the other took within his other, and shut his eyes. 'I suppose...neither Tomoko nor I were willing to deal with the aftermath and chasing broken ties halfway across the country. It was just so much easier keeping the two of you apart and letting you forget...or so we thought. I suppose it was inevitable you'd find each other again. It...was hopeless.' He hesitated, before asking another question before he lost the courage, seeing as his eyes were shut so he couldn't see Kouichi's expression. 'Do you hate me?' Kouji had answered that the previous night, but he needed to hear the answer himself, from the only one with the right to give it.

A pause, before he heard a hissing breath, and then the conformation to his twin's statement, along with details he had not really expected.

'I did once,' the boy whispered, sounding almost afraid. 'I hated you, I hated Kouji...and I found myself even hating 'kaa-san, for keeping this a secret from me and always doing things on her own, 'baa-chan for ruining the perfect image of my life...because, before that, I was content at least. But only afterward, I realised I was never _happy_. But I hated, and I lost myself in that hatred...but the others were there. They saved me, they helped me turn away from all that and overcome it...and understand even when knowledge is missing. So I don't hate you anymore. I don't think I can hate anyone anymore, whatever they've done, now that I've seen...'

Kousei opened his eyes to see the other close them and shake his head. 'Do you hate me for hating you?' the boy asked, looking up through his bangs, hesitantly, like a puppy about to lose a chance for a loving home.

He breathed deeply, tasting the sweet fresh hair, before raising a hand to ruffle his elder son's hair.

'Of course not,' he reassured, before pausing. 'I think we need a real family conference. And a pen and paper for that project of yours.'

* * *

'So what happens now?' Yoshiko asked curiously once they regrouped the following day (Kouichi had never actually made it to Akihiro's house, though he had rung half an hour after the other's departure and informed him).

'We're allowed to visit each other,' Kouichi replied. 'We'll trade off every second weekend and sleep over.'

'And your parents?' Minoru questioned. 'They're not..?'

'No. I suppose any hostility evaporated in nine years. Not that it was anything but a divorce of mutual agreement.'

'So they were forced to split the two of you by law,' Akihiro nodded thoughtfully, yesterday's playfulness on a leave of absence. 'I take it with both of you moving it complicated the whole keeping in contact possibility which was already complicated seeing as the family was split, so your parents felt it was easier on the two of you to simply forget.'

'Right,' the black haired boy tucked his hair beneath the cap he wore. 'No more though.'

'Which one?' The blonde asked half teasingly, trying to lighten the atmosphere again. 'Moving or splitting?'

Kouichi smiled slightly, tilting his head up to look at the blue sky. 'Both.'


	4. School Daze

**Author's Notes**

A good opportunity for some character development for my OCs. I had to give Kouichi some friends before the digital world and in the school situation. This would be the wrong story otherwise.

Come to think of it, nothing much happens in most chapters of this story. Probably why they're shorter than some of the others.

Anywho, enjoy.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 3 – School Daze**

'I thought we avoid the main summer heat,' Akihiro groaned, resting his head, brown hair framing it, on the table the four friends were seated at for lunch. 'Why is it so hot?'

'Oh stop your whining,' Yoshiko snapped, biting into an onigiri. 'That doesn't help matters.'

'What's the matter?' the brunette, very unwisely, retorted back. 'That time of the month again?'

'How about I turn you into a matching pair?' the other threatened with a poisonous glare, before Minoru, surprisingly, intervened.

'Come on you two,' he whined. 'It's too hot to be arguing.' Then turning to the black-haired boy slumped forward in his chair. 'No comment Kouichi?'

The addressed just mumbled something incoherent in reply.

'Okay?' The blonde raised an eyebrow, drawing out the 'o' to the point where Akihiro was tempted to whack him upside the head. He probably would have, but the heat was making them all rather lethargic. 'So...any interesting conversation topics?'

The two brunettes simply scowled.

'All right, fine. We'll talk about...KOUICHI!'

The raven almost fell out of his chair in shock.

'What was that for?' he groaned, straightening himself before trying to get back into the comfortable position he had been in before.

'Not paying attention,' Minoru replied, trying to sound perky but failing miserably. The heat was apparently getting to everyone. 'You okay?'

'Sure,' the other answer, sounding as tired as his hazel-eyed friend, perhaps even more. 'Why not?'

'Cutting sentences,' Akihiro pointed out.

'You too,' came the reply.

'True.'

They sat silently after that, taking a bite from their food when the mood struck them, while Kouichi and Akihiro, sitting across from each other and both with their heads on the table, drifted off.

* * *

Yoshiko luckily had cooled off by the time their lunch period ended, otherwise the other brunette would undoubtedly have been in several pieces when he awoke from his little nap. But it was asking for world war two if Minoru was the one who tried to wake him, so that left the blonde with the charge of waking the black-haired boy instead.

All in all, the blue eyed girl had the easier job. Because Kouichi, once he fell asleep, could be a nightmare at times to wake up.

And with all of them as lazy as they were when awake in the stifling weather, Minoru had a lump on the head to showcase once he finally got the other on his feet.

And it was a mark of how exhausted Kouichi was that he hadn't noticed his handiwork. Or else he would have been falling over his own feet apologizing as they trudged off to math.

* * *

The good part about mathematics was one did not need intense concentration...if they knew what they were doing. All four were smart, just in different areas. Kouichi was book smart, and decent enough when it came to thinking outside the square, though the only female in their group took the crown when it came to the arts. Akihiro and Minoru were both obviously very good at arguing, seeing as they practiced on each other, but the latter was a hard core science nerd, while the latter former's strengths tended to lean more to sports related activities...unless it involved a sparring match with Yoshiko.

Suffice to say, only three of the four were actually working, seeing as math impeded in most academic areas. Their fourth simply took the opportunity to nap.

The teacher, seeing half the class follow suit, left them. He was too hot to argue.

'Man,' Akihiro groaned, walking out of the classroom. 'How much longer is this day going to last?'

'Don't complain,' Minoru shot back. 'You slept through the period.'

'You could have.'

'Sure, if we wanted to forsake ice-cream for leftover homework.'

'...wait, what?'

'You know the rules,' Yoshiko pointed out. 'No homework done, no outing on school nights.'

'That's not fair. What about Kouichi?'

Then he blinked after receiving no indignant response from the other. Not that he had been expecting indignation.

'Kouichi?'

'Hmm..?'

'Why do we have to repeat your name to get anything out of you?'

A half-hearted shrug followed, followed a sharp intake of breath.

'Kouichi?'

By now, the other two ahead of them had turned as well, hearing the worry in the brunette's tone as well as the books falling from the other's hands as he gripped the shirt over his chest with a wince.

'Okay, now I'm worried.'

Kouichi couldn't really tell which of the two males was talking, and it didn't really matter as both took an elbow a moment later.

'All right.' That was definitely Minoru. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing, really.' The addressed winced again, letting out a slightly whistling breath which then turned into a cough.

'Yeah, well that nothing is dragging you straight to the infirmary.' Akihiro then made good on the promise by pulling on the elbow he held and bodily dragging the other down the corridor with the help of the blonde, ignoring the protests and leaving a not-to-thrilled Yoshiko to pick up the books all three had dropped.

* * *

'Nothing?' The school nurse, Sasaki Eri, asked in doubt, raising an eyebrow as he examined the other's temperature.

Akihiro shrugged a little, followed by Minoru mimicking him. 'You know him, Sasaki-sensei.'

Anyone who hung out enough with Kouichi was well aware of the fact that he tended not to reveal when he was down, or wasn't feeling well.

The dark haired nurse withdrew the thermometer and examined the reading. 'Well, no fever.'

'I'm not sick,' the boy who had been dragged here began to protest again, only to be stopped, in both definitions, by another bout of coughing. 'Okay, I wasn't sick before,' he amended when he was done, wincing in pain at the tightness of his chest.

'Open wide dear,' the nurse said kindly, ignoring the boys behind her rolling their eyes at their friend and instead examining the throat carefully with a small torch. 'No redness, so that rules out the possibility of a throat infection. Were you running?'

Kouichi shook his head 'no', before regretting it as the room blurred slightly.

'Exercising?'

'Only if walking down the hallway to class counts,' Yoshiko answered. 'We've been with him since he got here.'

'Okay.' She examined the papers lying on her desk before covering them with another and continuing her round of questions. 'Were you feeling sick before this? Tired? Nauseous? Dizzy?'

'Just tired.'

'Hmm...' She trailed off a bit, looking at the closed curtains, before turning to look at the three friends, all defining various degrees of concerned. 'Has he been overworking himself?'

The three looked at each other, before Akihiro replied. 'Well, he has been working harder than usual to catch up with the work he's missed, as well as the regular schoolwork and physiotherapy.'

'He's caught up now,' Minoru pointed out.

'And he finished the last piece of homework yesterday.' The chocolate eyes stared pointedly at the hazel as he said this. '_Remember?'_

'Oh yeah.'

'So you think he just needs some rest?' Yoshiko asked, pointedly ignoring her male companions.

'That and a cool wash cloth,' the nurse replied, doing the same. 'Goodness knows this heat does no good. I've already had students pretending it's gotten to them. But with my job, you tend to learn fake faints from the real thing.'

'Oh man,' Minoru pouted. 'I wanted to get out of Art.'

'Well, off with all of you,' Eri said, once again ignoring his antics. She knew Kouichi's friends as well as she knew him. The four tended to wind up in her office quite often, between the raven's weak immunity, the brunette's addiction to sport, and their prank wars.

* * *

Tomoko had eventually picked Kouichi up after he had a nice nap for the remaining two periods of the day, and seeing as she had to work again tonight, his friends as well. After all, better to be in bed with company than in bed alone, and this way, the worried mother could be sure her son was not overexerting himself outside her presence.

So after school found the four playing Go Fish on his blanket, seeing as it was too hot to use it for its proper function, even if the weather was cooling down with the afternoon.

'Got a five?' Akihiro asked for the sixth time to Yoshiko who he had already asked twice, stuck with a single card and no-one to pair it up with.

'Nope.' The cerulean blue eyes rolled. 'I already told you that last turn.'

'I know,' the other groaned, drawing a compensation card. 'I was hoping you had drawn it after the-hey, a five!'

He slapped his cards down and leaned back. 'Hah, I won!'

'Actually,' Minoru pointed out glaring at the three cards he had left himself. 'Kouichi won.'

'Oh yeah. All right, I came second. But I still won. Just not against him.'

Kouichi laughed lightly at that, but Minoru glared. Luckily, his comeback was interrupted by the phone, and Yoshiko abandoned her own pair (well, not exactly, as they weren't too of the same) to answer it.

'Moshi moshi, Kimura residence,' she said into the receiver.

'Who's this?' a male voice, slightly hard, came from the other line.

'Friend,' the brunette replied in the same tone. 'And I could ask you the same thing.'

'Brother,' came the cool reply.

Yoshiko's mouth formed an 'o'. 'Gomen nasai,' she said. 'I didn't recognise your voice.'

They had, after all, met after the Minamoto/Kimura family 'reunion'. And Akihiro had gotten along _brilliantly_ with the younger twin. Luckily, time had overrun the prospect of a kendo match...or something more violent. There was just something about each that rubbed the other the wrong way.

'If you want to talk to Kouichi,' she continued, before the other could say anything. 'You'll have to ring one of our cell phones. He's been confined to bed rest, and we're all dead if he doesn't obey.'

She gave Kouji her number, and moments later, the twins were happily conversing on her mobile while two remaining Go Fish players attempted to attain their pairs. It took a few more rounds before Minoru could throw his last match down in triumph, before grabbing them all and reshuffling.

Tomoko came home at seven to find them of their fourth gave, and the twins still talking, by now about Takuya's latest soccer training and the drama unfolding about the new captain elections.


	5. The Summer Festival

**Author's Notes**

Japan's education runs by a trimester system, first tem from April to mid-July, so it's the summer holidays now. Next term is from September to late December, then third from January to early march.

There are quite a few festivals during the earlier months of summer preceding the Tanabata and Obon festivals. Being summer, it is common to wear yutakas to festivals, and I'm improvising on the rides because I have no idea. Only know they have floats, music and dancing...and stalls.

Fushimi and Higashiyama both border Minami, which is where Kouichi and his mother live. The other two sides are bound by rivers. And as Higashiyama is known for its entertainment...well, you can see why I picked it.

To my knowledge, Junpei's father was never given a first name in the anime, so I've given him the name Atsushi, meaning industrious. He works in architecture, but that's not _that_ important.

Lot of research for a chapter in which nothing much happens. Simply sets the stage for the next chapter.

And if anyone's curious, I managed to shorten the plan. 34 chapters now (originally was 42 once I tried to remake the plan after losing it completely). It was originally thirty-something, so I suppose it's about as close to the original as I'm going to get.

'sides that, Enjoy.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 4 – The Summer Festival**

'Thank goodness school's over,' Junpei groaned, lying back onto the warm grass under the shady tree. 'On the down side, this is about the worst of the heat.'

'Not so much,' Izumi reasonably pointed out. 'The heat wave last week was pretty bad. If we're lucky, that would be the worst of it.'

'True,' Tomoki agreed. 'The weather report said it'll be a little cooler these holidays.'

'They're not always right,' Takuya snorted, plopping down beside the other four. 'I don't care though, so long as I can still play baseball and have a cool shower after.'

Kouji mirrored the snort, but didn't comment, even as the other brunette rolled over to glare lightly at him.

'So..?' Tomoki began to ask, before stopping.

'So what?' the eldest of the gang prompted.

'Anyone doing anything?'

The five looked at each other, then simultaneously shrugged.

'No camp?'

'No.'

'Surprising for you Takuya.'

Said boy blushed slightly. 'Yeah...well...promise you won't laugh!'

'We won't,' Izumi promised, glaring at Kouji as he opened his mouth. He promptly shut it.

'I wanted to spend it with you guys.'

Junpei 'awwed'. 'How sweet. Our little boy's growing up.'

'Little?'

Takuya sat up, before flopping bonelessly back down again. 'Aargh, can't be bothered.'

Kouji simply chucked, before remembering. 'Oh yeah, Kouichi asked if you guys want to go to the festival in Kyoto this year, or stick to Tokyo's ones.'

'When did he say that?' Tomoki asked, curious. 'When did we last see him anyway?'

'Yesterday and about a month and a half ago. You guys missed his last visit.'

He sighed lightly. 'It sucks for him to be so far away from us,' the ex-warrior of ice said. 'We'll barely get to see him. But it's a bit of a waste taking the country line and back and not spending the night at least. We'd spend more than half the day travelling.'

Takuya blinked slightly. 'Didn't he do that when he was...err, stalking you?'

'Yeah,' Kouji replied. 'He did.'

The brunette couldn't help but snicker at that. 'Tomoki's got a point. If he comes here, or we go there, we should at least spend one night.'

'He can't come,' Kouji shook his head. 'He came weekend before last.'

'So..?' Takuya apparently was the only one who didn't understand.

'Tickets don't grow on trees,' the younger twin growled. 'Especially inter-city ones.'

'Oh.' He looked guilty for a moment, before brightening up. 'We'll just visit him then. Maybe one of our parents can drive us, that way we can avoid the trains completely. Any volunteers?'

'How about we get permission first,' the blonde pointed out, almost scolding and causing the balloon that was their goggle-wearing leader to deflate. 'And then start working on travel plans.'

'You always have to blow my bubble,' the brunette pouted. 'Hey, did we even decide which festival?'

The others looked at each other, before shrugging. 'I guess no-one said it out loud,' Tomoki shrugged. 'But if we're allowed, we'll go to Kyoto's one.'

Kouji nodded. 'I just hope those crazy friends of Ni-san's aren't coming with us.'

'Cause we're crazy enough,' Izumi inputted, grinning devilishly.

* * *

'No, they're not,' Kouichi affirmed, once Kouji rang him later that same afternoon. 'Yoshiko's going with her brothers, and the other two are going as a pair. Safer that way.'

'Safer?' Kouji asked, sounding sceptical about the company his brother kept.

'Their pranks can get a little...out of hand,' the other admitted. 'Yoshiko and I are normally no-where near when that happens.'

'Normally?'

'Well...we do sometimes get roped into them. Actually how we became friends.'

'Do I want to know?'

There was a sound of mock-thinking on the other end of the line. 'Maybe. Yoshiko was new, I was-'

'-the quiet, inconspicuous kid?'

A small laugh. 'Fairly,' the elder twin admitted. 'Except when it came to grades and bullies-'

'Bullies?'

'Relax. That was years ago.'

'Let me guess.' Kouji's tone was slightly dry. 'Your friends took care of them.'

'Actually, no. I did.'

'Oh?'

'Let me finish first. Akihiro and Minoru were your usual class clowns, and they tend to get rough sometimes, but bullying is somewhere where they cross the line. We all do. They just give what they know someone can handle.'

'Why does this sound like Takuya?'

'I actually think it's a cross between you and him,' Kouichi supplied. 'But that's beside the point. Bullies are rather attracted to new students, so they decided to hassle Yoshiko, and coincidently we happened to be around. Lucky too, seeing as she was about to turn them into mince meat.'

'Sounds like Izumi.'

'They should get along fine,' the other agreed.

'So what happened next?'

'The usual 'bullies are cowards' routine. A triple glare, and they ran.'

'They would, but how did that deal with your bully problem?'

Kouji could almost see the amused smirk on the other line. 'They didn't think I could stand up for someone else. So by their logic, they immediately assumed that I was more than capable of-'

'-standing up for yourself?' The younger twin sighed immediately after. 'Well, bullies aren't known for their intelligence. And you became friends because of that?'

'Not quite.' The elder twin still sounded amused. 'Yoshiko declared she could have handled those boys by herself and threatened to beat Akihiro and Minoru up.'

'Not you?'

'Not me.' This time, he could almost see his Ni-san blushing. 'She said I looked too adorable.'

Kouji couldn't contain his laughter, before steering the conversation back to its original topic. 'So, Junpei's father is driving us. He's working in Fushimi-ku this weekend, and the others are sleeping over.'

'Sleeping over where?'

'An aunt of some sort.'

'You're still staying with us, right?'

'Of course. What's 'kaa-san making?'

'Nothing actually. And you couldn't wait till the weekend to find out?'

'Nothing?' Kouji yelped, completely ignoring the latter statement. 'We're going hungry...unless...she can't expect me to cook?'

A sigh answered him. '_I'm_ cooking.'

'...oh.' A pause, then: 'Are you sure you're up to it?'

A groan. 'Not you too.'

Another pause. 'Honestly Ni-san. Coughing in the middle of summer. And not even a cold. I'm no doctor, but since when do people cough when they're tired.'

'They cough when they're-' He paused for a second and Kouji heard some sort of surprise on the other side of the line, followed by a brief and muffled conversation. '-out of breath,' he finished, sounding slightly breathless. 'Basic biology.'

'Oh?' Kouji didn't sound too convinced. 'And what was that now?'

''kaa-san,' came the dry reply. 'Home early.'

'Yeah?'

'Yeah.'

'So...' The younger twin frowned lightly, before fishing around for a new conversation topic. 'Which festival did you have in mind?'

'The one in front of the Yasaka shrine,' Kouichi supplied, a smile in his voice. 'In the Higashiyama district.'

* * *

Considering four of the six and their driver (they managed to get away without a chaperone seeing as it was a daytime visit) were in one locality and the remaining two were in another, the twins simply took the subway and met up with the rest of the gang at nine.

Actually, five minutes past, which Takuya was quick to snatch.

'You're late,' he said in a singsong voice as Kouji entered, reserving a simple 'Hi' for the elder twin which was returned with some amusement.

Kouji growled, looking at the red yutaka only halfway put on. 'As if it matters,' he shot back, gesturing at it, then at his own light yellow one (Kouichi was wearing a navy blue).

Izumi groaned, mirrored by Junpei, the former in mauve, the latter in cyan. 'No fighting today,' the female grounded out. 'We're supposed to be happing fun.'

'Yeah,' Tomoki agreed, appearing from the passage in an orange yutaka as Takuya fixed his own. 'Everyone ready?'

'Ready,' the others chorused.

* * *

They drove to the shrine, since it was on the opposite side of Minoru to where the rest of the gang were staying...seeing as the two remaining sides were bound by river. Sitting in the car, they realised it may have been more sensible to simply pick the twins up in the eight-seater van en route...but it was a little to late for that, as Junpei reasonably pointed out.

Shibiyama Atsushi dropped them off at the beginning of the floats, wished them a good day, and drove off to work.

The six, left to their own devices, looked around, taking in the rides, floats, music and stalls that covered the street and shrine area.

'So...where to first?' Tomoki asked, blinking at the festival that looked far bigger and more crowded than what he (or the others, save Kouichi) were used to, trying to keep the others in sight as they attempted to find a quieter corner.

'Rides?' Izumi suggested. 'No sense buying stuff if we're going to have to lag it around. And don't say food Takuya, we just had breakfast.'

'I wasn't going to,' the new captain said, insulted. 'I was just going to say we should save the ferris wheel for later too. Get the more exciting rides over with so no-one loses their lunch.'

'A sensible idea for once,' the blonde agreed. 'So, where to?'

Kouichi looked around, before pointing at a particular one. 'How about that one?' he suggested.

Kouji followed the finger, and raised an eyebrow, as Takuya immediately voiced his agreement. 'Haunted house?'

His brother just shrugged. 'Why not?'

'True...why not.'

* * *

In the end, he regretted saying that, if only to save him from the embarrassment. The haunted house here, he found, was nothing like the ones in Tokyo (the ones that he had been to anyway), and excuse _him_ if an almost too real looking dressed up Lucemon look-alike scared him.

At least he didn't scream like Tomoki when the ground fell away. Literally. Kouichi beside him had somehow managed to dodge this, which lead the others to believe, at least once they reached the mirrors and their creepy reflective tricks, that he had picked it on purpose.

Kouichi simply grinned, breathing deeply and trying to quieten his heart as much as the others were once the ground reappeared, along with a net to catch prey with five of the six kids tangled inside. 'They change it every year,' he said in way of explanation.

The others really didn't know whether to believe him or not, but shrugged it off in time for the bumper cars.

_Speedy_ bumper cars. In which they learnt a very valuable lesson.

_Never_ race against Izumi.

Which, unfortunately for him, Takuya learnt the hard way, leaving the other four breathless with laughter.


	6. The Ride's a Heartstopper

**Author's Note**

For the details, the internet, plus that one SVH book where Regina Morrow overdosed on cocaine were the sources I used. The website is ../pubmedhealth, so most medical knowledge came from there. Everything else came from biology or my part-time job.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

You know, this is one of the chapters I lost with my hard-drive...so things have changed from my initial setup. Mostly because I couldn't recover the thing and had to improvise.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 5 – The Ride's a Heartstopper**

'So, what's next?' Izumi asked brightly, passing a float as the walked near the road. On one side was the shrine, with the large space taken by dancing demonstrations and stalls. The road itself was filled with walkers and floats, while the park on the other side housed the rides. 'A rollercoaster?'

'How about that one?' Takuya pointed to one, with a rather large group of people obscuring the sign.

'No way,' Kouichi sighed, slumping down on a bench. 'Read the sign.'

The path cleared, and he got a good look at it. '"The ride's a heartstopper. Ride at your own peril."' The brunette snorted. 'So what? Marketing.'

'We went on that last year,' the elder twin supplied, sounding a little tired after the bumper ride, as the others gathered around. 'Had a bet going seeing who could get through it without turning green.'

'So...' Tomoki looked at the large looming ride. 'Who won?'

'I did. We all turned green at the very least.'

The blonde giggled. 'Sounds like fun. I'm game.'

'I don't know,' Junpei said reluctantly, pointing at a rather green boy. 'I'm not a fan of throwing up.'

'Me neither,' Kouichi agreed.

'We'll take a vote then,' their presumed leader said, raising your hand. 'It can't be as bad as you say. All in favour?'

Izumi raised her hand too, and at an afterthought, so did Kouji, ignoring his brother's mutter of 'traitor.'

'The 'aye's' have it,' Takuya cheered, marching off for the tickets.

Junpei groaned.

So did Kouichi. But it was more because he was too comfortable where he was.

'Kouichi!' Takuya yelled from the line. 'Hurry up!'

He went over.

* * *

Once the six clambered off the ride, Takuya for one was regretting the choice, an ugly greenish tinge having solidified its position on his face. Kouji was doing about the same, trailing at the back of the group and rather unhurriedly helping his brother, whose face was an ash pale. Tomoki had made a beeline for the bathroom, and Junpei to the nearest bench, passing the ridemaster who waved them off with a chuckle. Only Izumi it seemed was perky enough, simply looking windblown, so she assigned herself to check on their youngest member in the temporary bathroom at one end of the street as the other four slumped on or around the bench.

'My bad,' Takuya groaned. 'I really should have listened to you Kouichi.'

'At least we didn't each lunch,' Junpei commented, making the younger twin scrunch his face up in disgust, before looking at his brother, head resting on his shoulder.

'Ni-san?' he asked, concerned and waving off his own nausea as he heard the other groan in pain. 'You okay..?'

'Mmm?' Kouichi lifted his eyes slightly, not caring to move his head as it pounded insistently, squirming slightly. 'Sure,' he replied slowly, as though it had taken minutes to process the question, before slowly adding as he reclosed his eyes: 'That music's giving me a headache though.'

Takuya blinked, before listening carefully. The music had ceased for the time being, probably since their players were having a brief intermission next to the temporary sushi bar. Point was, there was no music to be bothering anyone, so how could it be giving Kouichi a headache?

'What music?' he asked, just as Kouji came to the same conclusion himself.

'Drums,' the other answered faintly, as his brother whipped around and took him by the shoulders, gently repositioning him so he lay in his lap.

'Ni-san, no-one's playing any drums,' he said gently, brushing strands of blackish hair away from the pallid and sweating face, before his wandering fingers found a pulse. 'You're heart's beating rather fast though.'

The three more conscious members of the ex-legendary warrior team exchanged worried glances, before Takuya stood, face back to its usual colouring.

'I'll go find the medic,' he announced, racing off in the direction of the medic tent, fighting to get through the crowds scattered around.

Junpei watched him go, before pulling himself to his feet and ignoring his queasy stomach, looked over the twins. Kouji was gently stroking his brother's hair, and said brother still had his eyes closed, breathing slightly harshly.

'Shush,' the younger twin was saying soothingly, though still with a worried air. 'Just rest up. You're okay.'

He then looked up at the other. 'He's cold,' the ex-warrior of light whispered. 'Even if he was sick, this is too fast.'

'Don't panic,' Junpei ordered, resisting the urge to panic himself. 'You won't help him that way. Takuya will be back with the medic soon, and till then we can-'

He cut himself off as Kouichi started wheezing.

'What? Do what?' Kouji yelled, evidently not following the first command.

'Um...help him breathe,' Junpei hurriedly replied, loosening the obi sash around the younger boy's waist, then working on the yutaka himself, before pulling him so he leaned against Kouji as opposed to almost flat on his back. The harshness immediately eased, though he was still squirming restlessly.

'C'mon Kou,' he attempted to soothe. 'Stop squirming.'

If Kouichi heard, he didn't obey.

_Hurry up Takuya._

'What's going on?' the younger twin asked helplessly. Somehow, there was something about his brother that turned his steel facade into sushi.

'I have no idea,' the other replied, panic rising again. Luckily, it didn't have too much time to take root as Takuya ran up with a medic in tow.

'Move,' he snapped, taking the ailing boy from his body and shaking him awake, critically assessing symptoms at the same time, feeling the rapid pulse fade into something weak and thready. 'Come on kid. Wake up!'

Kouji looked like he wanted to protest as the adult shook his brother harder, but thought better of it as the other stirred hazily.

'Wha..?' he asked blurrily, voice slurring and almost drowned by his own breaths, as the older man strapped a monitor onto one arm.

The medic, satisfied for that level of consciousness for the time being, helped the boy up onto his feet while frowning at the systolic pressure reading, before looking at the other three. 'Keep him on his feet and awake,' he ordered again, looking at the three still standing. 'And don't ask questions.'

The guy was rather scary, so they obeyed, holding the dazed and almost unconscious boy upright as Takuya started some random tangent of his new team captaincy. The medic reassessed the pressure, before activating his communicator when detecting the more than 10 point drop.

'Call an ambulance,' he fired, as soon as someone received the signal from the tent. 'Looks like cardiogenic shock, but I need a catheter to be sure.'

'Roger that,' someone replied through the faint static. 'We'll get security to clear a path to your location.'

'Cardiogenic shock?' Kouji repeated shakily, once the medic was off the communicator and back to his patient, lowering the boy to lean against the bench and pulling an oxygen mask from his emergency kit and slipping it over the other's mouth and nose.

'Basically his heart's going into shock,' the medic muttered, setting up the mask. 'Did he overwork himself or get a scare or anything?'

'We only went on three rides,' Junpei replied. 'And he was more amused by our scares than scared in the haunted house.'

'The other ride?'

'Bumper cars.'

The medic frowned. 'Previous medical conditions?'

Junpei and Takuya both looked at Kouji, who shook his head slowly. 'Not that I know of,' he said. 'He gets sick and tired easily though.'

He picked up the sound of sirens soon after.

'Ambulance is here. If you want to come, get someone to drive you.'

'Which hospital?' Takuya asked.

'The first red cross,' another medic, this one who had jumped out of the van, answered, pulling a stretcher with him. 'That's the nearest.'

'I'm coming,' Kouji said suddenly, as they loaded his brother on. 'That's my brother.'

The team looked at each other, before one sighed and gestured him on. 'Get on then. And talk to him. Keep him awake.'

'We'll find the others and meet you there somehow,' the brunette goggle-head yelled.

* * *

'What happened?' Tomoko asked a doctor frantically, once everybody who had been in Kyoto and was close to Kouichi had accumulated in the waiting room, before Yoshiko had convinced her three brothers, two younger and one elder, to go home with her parents, along with Minoru and Akihiro's parents. The three children stayed stubbornly put, as did the remaining five ex-warriors and Junpei's father, who insisted they needed at least one adult who wasn't in an utter panic about her son's condition there.

Which was true, as Kouichi's mother looked almost hysterical.

'Calm down Kimura-san,' the doctor replied in a professional calm manner. 'We've stabilised your son for the time being, and we've run a few tests, but I would like to speak with you personally.'

He gestured to a consultation room, and the woman followed. Kouji made to follow too, but the doctor stopped him. 'I need to speak to your mother alone,' he said. 'I'll have a nurse come and fetch you once Kimura-kun can receive visitors.'

'We can't see him yet?' both female girls asked simultaneously.

'We're waiting for him to regain consciousness. His loss of consciousness before arrival brought some possible complications.'

* * *

Doctor Hashimito Tsuneo leaned forward on his hands, examining the pale and worn woman before her. 'You son suffered a cardiogenic shock,' he said slowly, looking at her reaction. 'We performed a cardiac catheterization to confirm, and we currently have him on an electrocardiogram to monitor heartbeat. It is generally caused by ruptures or lack of movement in a localised area of the heart, whether that be permanent or temporary.'

The woman's face drew almost unnoticeably inward.

'Previous records show he has a form of a heart disorder,' Dr. Hashimito continued. 'Are you aware of this?'

'Restrictive cardiomyopathy,' Tomoko replied in an almost whisper.

'Does your son know?'

She shook her head.

'Why not?'

The doctor frowned when she didn't answer. 'Cardiac shock is a rather detrimental symptom of cardiomyopathy Kimura-san. You know the next up is heart failure.'

She nodded.

'And?' he prompted.

'I was hoping not to have to cross that bridge,' she said weakly. 'But this is so...sudden.'

'Symptoms can suddenly and rapidly display themselves,' Dr. Hashimito nodded, upholding his professional mask as the woman looked as though she was about to start crying, although she too held to her facade. 'If for preference you would rather he is not informed and not register him as an in-patient, something I would highly recommend, we will adjust the medication dosages, as his medical profile shows he's already on several prescriptions.' He raised an eyebrow. 'How did you explain that?'

'I switched the bottles,' the woman replied, forehead creasing. 'Vitamin supplements, the likes. If he ever noticed, he didn't say anything.'

'Oh?' The doctor was momentarily surprised, before switching back into professionalism. 'I'm upping the asprin dosage, and changing the diuretic to a stronger drug. We've also temporary put him dobutamine, dopamine, epinephrine and norepinephrine, but those aren't recommended for permanent uptake. But there is the problem of his unconsciousness. You are aware that one of the symptoms of cardiogenic shock is-'

'-a coma.' If there was any colour in Tomoko's face, it fled.

'We're still assessing the extent to that regard,' Tsueno attempted to soothe. 'But I would like to warn you that there is a possibility he won't awaken.'


	7. Recovery Week

**Author's Notes**

The gang stayed in Kyoto for a while longer than they had originally planned, seeing as they're on Summer Break. Junpei's aunt is more than happy to keep everyone at her house. And by aunt, I'm saying Junpei's Dad's brother's wife. So same surname.

Kayu is sort of like Japanese oatmeal. Easily edible for sick people. Onigiri are those trianglular rice balls Brock always makes in Pokemon. And from what people say, normal hospital food is barely edible. Specialist hospitals give you a feast though. Wonder why the discrepancy. But that's 'round here, don't know about Japan.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 6 – Recovery Week**

He just wanted to sleep. But there were rather insistent voices talking somewhere above them and not letting him do just that.

'Come on Ni-san. Wake up already.'

'Repeating the same phrase over and over isn't going to accomplish something.

'Maybe we should try a reincarnation of Sleeping Beauty. You know, find a pretty girl and kiss him on the lips.'

'Don't even think about it,' Kouichi muttered almost unconsciously, shifting by a miniscule amount.

There was a sudden collective cheer which made him wince slightly, then a beeping sound that furthered that wince, before someone shushed them.

'Keep it quiet,' two female voices snapped, before a male voice sounded near to his uncovered ear, gentle but stern.

'Kouichi, time to wake up.'

'No,' he mumbled, almost incoherently, trying to drift back into the land of dreams. ''m goin' back to sleep.'

There was a chuckle, sounding rather relieved. 'You've slept enough. About a week and a half in fact.'

'What?' He opened his eyes blurrily, finding fuzzy faces hovering, something pricking into his left hand and a plastic tube-like thing in his nostrils, releasing consecutive puffs of oxygen. 'What 'appened?' He noted vaguely that his words were slurring, but he couldn't seem to work up the energy to speak clearly.

'Cardiogenic shock,' someone, Junpei he thought, replied. 'Why though, no-one knows.'

'Cardio-' His brow furrowed tiredly. He knew what it was, he was just too tired to remember. 'Sleep.' He decided.

'Well, I'll go get the Doctor...and your mother.'

He had drifted off before the sentence was entirely out of Izumi's mouth.

* * *

'Nice ceiling,' Kouji commented, seeing as Kouichi had groaned upon seeing it clearly the next time he woke.

'Sure,' the other deadpanned. 'If I didn't wake up to see it every time I woke up in a hospital.'

A nurse chuckled. 'The ceilings all look the same,' she pointed out. 'All white.'

'You know, if Takuya were here, he'd probably tell us to paint it red.'

'I think I'd rather have them pale blue or grey.'

The nurse laughed again at the twins. 'Seeing as you spend so much time here, perhaps we should paint it for you.'

Kouichi grimaced while Kouji frowned. 'How many times do you wind up in the hospital?'

The elder twin grinned sheepishly as he racked his exhausted brain for a number. 'I give up,' he groaned, snuggling into the blankets. 'G'night.'

'It's midday.'

The other didn't grace that with a reply, already sound asleep.

* * *

'Uurgh, hospital food.' Takuya grimaced, looking at the tray on Kouichi's lap that was supposed to be his dinner. It barely looked edible though.

Kouichi eyed the lumpy rice before agreeing, lying on the partially reclining hospital bed. ''kaa-san brought lunch. Onigiri.'

'That's much better,' Shinya, who the elder brother was babysitting, agreed, noting the almost untouched package on the top next to a tray which was only missing the milk. He had come with his elder brother after a string of betting, but Takuya had drawn the line at coming to the festival with the six warriors. The two brothers went together three days later. 'And we've got a rescue meal too. Delivery from Junpei-san's aunt.'

The gentle smile grew to a full-fledged grin as he saw the Kayu.

'Shibiyama-san figured you would be able to digest it easier,' Takuya explained. '_Especially_ since you didn't finish that onigiri. Can we have some?'

'Help yourself,' the other replied tiredly.

'Still tired.'

'Hmm...yeah.' He opened his eyes enough to glare at the IV drip and oxygen, before closing his eyes again. 'And it's hard to chew with a tube up your nose.'

'It would be,' the soccer captain agreed, taking an onigiri from the packet. 'Look on the bright side though, the Kayu's easy enough to eat. When are you getting those out anyway?'

'Soon I hope...'

* * *

'All right,' Doctor Hashimito declared, stepping back and jotting something onto his clipboard. 'You seem to be recovering quite well, so we can start weaning you off the oxygen and intravenous drugs.'

Kouichi smiled at that. The wire and needle were both rather uncomfortable.

The doctor, letting his facade slide slightly at the child's happiness (he tended to use the sternness more for adults than children in any case), before continuing, carefully withdrawing the nasal tubing while demonstrating how to fit a regular oxygen mask. 'I want you to wear this when you're sleeping,' he instructed. 'And any time you're feeling sick, nauseous or feel like you're not getting enough hair. Depending on how you hold up over the next few days, we'll either remove you from the oxygen completely or have you wear it for longer intervals. As for the IV, we'll lower the aspirin and diuretic dosage and eliminate the other stuff. We'll eliminate the pain killer too.'

The patient's brow furrowed slightly. 'I was on painkillers?' He grimaced soon after. Evidently, he didn't like them very much, or maybe it was simply their reputation.

The doctor chucked, moving for the door. 'Just a mild one,' he assured. 'No major side-effects.'

* * *

The entire group of people who had crowded the waiting room more than a fortnight ago showed up again to crowd the hospital that Sunday. That included the whole Minamoto-Kimura family, including Kouji's enthusiastic dog who was unfortunately forced to wait outside, the other four ex-legendary warriors, Junpei's father, aunt and uncle, Yoshiko, Akihiro and Minoru with their families and the ride-master from the festival (who had been genuinely concerned for the boy's health, having the guilt-trip from his ride though the doctors affirmed the ride itself was not a major contributing factor).

Luckily, there was still a four visitors at a time limit, seeing as there was no way they all would have fit. But still, the numerous visits and tangents left the patient a little overwhelmed, seeing as those in Kyoto had wisely spread themselves out over the time he had been in the hospital before. But no-one seemed to want to wait that Sunday, seeing as those who lived in Tokyo had to leave that day to prepare for a new semester. His Kyoto friends _could_ have done without, but they were eager to meet the Tokyo lot in the midst of something other than a medical emergency regarding their joint friend, so they joined the crowd too, along with working parents on the only day they had off.

Eventually, a stern Doctor Hashimito had to chase them all off, kindly informing them that the patient they were visiting still needed rest for recovery. Kimura Tomoko however stayed. And he did not object.

* * *

To say Kouichi was thrilled when he _finally_ got out of the hospital was an understatement, not that you could tell at first glance though. He had always been quite reserved about his emotions, except for a few noticeable circumstances, all of which had taken place in the Digital World, so it was no surprise to anyone really.

His mother, though she didn't say it out loud, was simply hoping that the next trip to the hospital would be long in coming.

'Remember the doctor's orders,' she said strictly, preparing to go off to work. 'No getting up unless it's absolutely necessary, sit down immediately if you feel dizzy, nauseous or short on breath, and if you're going to try and catch up on the schoolwork you'll miss when school starts (seeing as the new semester was scheduled to start a week before he got off bed-rest), do it _slowly_.'

'Hai 'kaa-san,' her son murmured obediently. 'I will.'

She ruffled his hair fondly. 'I know you will,' she said softly, before readapting her stern look. 'And stay away from the housework. I don't want to see a speck of dust out of place.'


	8. Connecting Dots

**Author's Notes**

In the Japanese anime, apparently most of the frontier gang is in 5th grade. However, in the English, they're in sixth. Takuya even mentions it in the second episode. Personally, I prefer the older versions, gives leeway to more maturity. And I can drop them into junior high school now.

The curriculum covers Japanese language, social studies, mathematics, science, music, fine arts, health, and physical education. All students also are exposed to either industrial arts or homemaking. In junior high, there is a different teacher per subject, but the teachers move around, not the students. (I hadn't actually known that before, so thank you to the person who pointed it out). Of course, that won't apply for elective and level-split subjects.

Kanken is a Japanese standardised test, and the grades determine which level you study at. Level 6 is the average for an 11 year old in kanji (5th grade elementary), while 5 is the average for a 12 year old (6th grade). Level 4 and 3 are post primary, but the internet is not very specific in distinguishing them from the years of junior high school, so I'll assume 4 to be the first few years, and 3 to be the last. Next is pre-2 which is up to 16-17 years of age, which is the senior high-school segment.

You'll note that Kouji uses a suffix with Yoshiko's surname, but not with Minoru (or Akihiro, but that's not mentioned yet). Reason is, they've managed to get themselves into a mutual love/hate sort of relationship. Sort of like Takuya and Kouji during the episode with Bakumon/Tapirmon and Tomoki's nightmare. Remember, for Kouji, Kouichi's other male friends represent the stability of his life without Kouji, while Kouji sees himself as a pillar for his twin of sorts. He seems rather protective in canon after all. And same for Minoru and Akihiro, who see him as not someone weak, but simply someone who refuses to fight their own battles most of the time. Yoshiko's a girl, and Kouichi has had other female figures in his life, ie. his mother and grandmother. In any case, Koji's too much of a gentleman to not treat a girl with a high level of respect. Seeing as they're all the same age, I think (not entirely sure here) that it is perfectly acceptable (seeing as they are mutual relations of Kouichi and all three very close to him) for them to not use the suffixes as a higher form of politeness and respect. And it's not that they don't respect the other; more like they're jealous on some subconscious level. Will be explained fuller in later chapters.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Connecting Dots**

Kouji found himself playing with the phone cord. It was a bad habit of his, to fidget with something when he was concerned. Normally, it was his hair. Sometimes, whatever he could find in his pockets...generally phone and wallet, though in the digital world that included his D-scanner. And sometimes, it was whatever he could get his hands on...like the phone cord.

The reason? This was the third time he had dialled his brother's home number, and no-one was picking up.

And just as the wire was about to wind up with a permanent curvature, someone picked up.

'Moshi moshi, Kimura residence,' Tomoko whispered.

''kaa-san?' he said...well, asked, surprised. She normally wasn't home at this time. 'Is everything okay?'

'Everything is fine,' she replied. 'I have a nightshift today.'

Oh, that explained it. She was normally home in the afternoon she had a nightshift.

'Is Ni-san home?'

There was some sort of a pause, before she replied. 'He is, but he's sleeping.'

'Sleeping?' he repeated worriedly. 'At this time of day?'

'He's been sleeping more than usual lately...'

'Lately as in after the festival.' It was more an observation than a fact, however it was easily affirmed at the sudden stillness of breath over the line. ''kaa-san, what's wrong with Kouichi? I know there's something.'

There was another pause. 'He's still recovering,' she said slowly. 'It's natural for people to be tired when they're not at full strength.'

Something about the way she said it put the other on guard. ''kaa-san, do you know why he collapsed like that?'

She answered with a 'no' too quick to believe.

'You lie even worse than Ni-san,' he said flatly. '_What_ is going on?'

There was something akin to a concerned groan on the other end. 'Kouji, I-' She took a deep breath, before continuing. 'He's always tired easily.'

He was sure there was more than that. ''kaa-san-' He cut off when he suddenly heard the almost silent sobs, stifled by what sounded like a hand.

'His-his-' She cut herself off after that, taking a few deep breaths to steady herself, before diverting the subject altogether. 'I see you've inherited my stubbornness,' she laughed moistly.

There was something underlining that statement, and a sudden weight of dread was growing in the pit of his stomach. Perhaps the earlier panic wasn't so ill founded after all.

''kaa-san?' he asked, trying to eradicate the bluntness from his voice but not altogether succeeding. 'Is Ni-san sick?'

She knew what he meant of course.

'Yes...' Another pause. 'Yes he is.'

Utter silence. The bombshell had been dropped.

Until his mother started speaking again. 'Please understand,' she begged. 'I can't tell him. I can't.'

'He doesn't know anything?' His mind was staring to whirl with the lack of answers. _What was it? Just what was going on? What was wrong?_

'No, no his doesn't.' There was another choked sob.

'He hasn't even suspected anything?' He was sure Kouichi wasn't that dense. Not that he was implying his brother was dense _at all_, he was one of the most intelligent people he knew of that age-

'He doesn't say anything,' she replied quietly. 'He never does.'

Of course. He should have known.

'What is it then?' He knew he sounded almost desperate, but he couldn't help it. 'Is it life threatening?'

His blood almost froze at the thought. The possibility of losing his brother a third time suddenly seemed so real.

'No,' came the reply.

But the way it was said, it sounded more like a 'yes'.

''kaa-san please-'

'I can't,' she said tearfully. 'I just can't.'

He felt somewhat cold, cruel, pushing for answers like this, but he knew no-one else ever would...not until it would be too late. And he had to know. If anything was going to cut their time together shorter, if anything was going to split them apart forever, he just _had_ to know-

'Kouji, just relax. He'll sleep, and take things slowly, and he'll be fine.'

She sounded so desperate, so sure, that he had to believe her.

But later, thinking back, he couldn't believe he had missed the fact that she had been trying to convince herself as much as him.

There was some muffled sounds on the other end, before a new voice replaced the old. 'Kouji?'

His heat skipped a beat there.

Sleepy, slightly slurred...but otherwise sounding rather healthy, and that, more than anything anyone could say, eased his heart for the time.

'Ni-san...'

There was a slight chuckle from him, although it was laced with worry. 'Geez, what's with you two?' he teased. 'Getting all sappy over little ol' me.'

'Don't be ridiculous,' Kouji attempted to snort, though it came out a little shaky. 'The world doesn't revolve around you.'

'I know that.'

They fell back into their normal routine, and Kouji noticed his brother had never asked him what was wrong.

And he was fairly certain he hadn't asked his mother either.

'How was the first day back at school?'

'Annoying.' Kouji internally laughed at his brother's pouting tone. 'My classes at all corners of campus.'

'Did you have to run?'

He could hear his mother's voice in the background, but wasn't exactly sure what she said. He heard the reply though, loud and clear. 'I didn't run, but I wound up with a detention because of that.'

'Detention?'

'Late for science.'

'And you didn't run because..?'

'I had enough trouble keeping one foot in front of the other by then.' There was a stifled yawn from Kouichi. 'Too hectic a first day. Wasn't ready for that after so long at home. Especially since it's a new school and I haven't got a clue where anything is.'

Kouji chuckled again. 'What did they do? Put all your electives between your core subjects and no tour?'

'Exactly that.' There was a pause, then: 'No, it's tomorrow. Huh? 'kaa-san, you-Oh, all right.'

'What in the world was that about?' the younger twin asked confused.

'Apparently the medical certificate will get me out of that detention.' There was a pause, then: 'Akihiro won't be happy. He was looking forward to the company. What? No, 'kaa-san, he doesn't do Advanced Japanese. He got a level 6 in the Kanken, so he's in intermediate. Yoshiko? Different homeroom.'

'Samurakami?' Kouji asked, amused at his brother being torn between two different conversations.

'Level 5, and not in my class.'

'What level are you then? And Kichida-chan?'

'Level 4.'

'I'm level 5. Makes me feel a little inadequate.' He said that lightly, hoping to stem away the dark cloud that was slowly floating along its way.

Kouichi giggled. 'You could beat me in science any time.' He paused there. 'Okay, maybe not anytime.'

'Only cause you're attracted to books like a magnet.'

'...who told you that?'

'Takuya.'

'And he knows...how?'

'Some weird dream.'

The elder twin couldn't help it. He burst into a fit of laughter, which left him breathing quite heavily as he stifled them.

'Ni-san?'

'Okay, okay,' he gasped, still regaining his breath, before giggling a little more. 'Was that necessary?'

'Yeah.'

He didn't say why, and he didn't know whether to be glad or angry that his brother didn't question him.

Honestly, hadn't he ever heard the phrase "curiosity killed the cat"?

And besides, locking unanswered questions away with no answer was not healthy. They both saw what it did, with Duskmon.

Not that _he_ would recognise that.

And not that the younger twin could say anything. Better leave something fully buried than dig it up in part.

He was starting to see where his mother had been coming from.


	9. Worries

**Author's Notes**

Nothing much actually. Just enjoy.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 8 – Worries**

Suhasi Isao paused in marking the attendance, watching the students in his seventh grade homeroom study what looked like last minute cram material for the upcoming science test in fourth period.

'Where is Kimura-kun?' he asked, eyeing Oota Akihiro specifically, knowing for the term the two had spent in his class after moving into junior high school that they were near inseparable.

Akihiro, just noticing the missing boy himself, shrugged. 'At home?' he suggested. 'He has been rather tired lately.'

The teacher frowned. 'Kindly remind him to provide a medical certificate for missing a test. Or his parents to call up.' He raised an eyebrow at the brunette, the only one who was _not_ in the midst of frantic memorisation. 'And on that point, if you fail another test...'

'Track meet,' Akihiro groaned. 'No worries; the human body is one thing I know.'

'You would,' the boy behind him grumbled from his notes. 'You're a sport fanatic.'

'Do you want to repeat that?'

Luckily, the bell rang.

* * *

'Moshi moshi, Kimura residence.'

'Kouichi? Honestly, could you sound any more zoned out?' Akihiro asked, once his raven friend finally picked up the phone. Seriously, that was the fourth time he rang.

'Gomen,' the boy apologised. 'I just woke up.'

'Seriously?' Now he was worried, frowning lightly. 'What time did you go to bed?'

'No idea,' the other sighed, almost in an indistinguishable mumble. 'On my Japanese assignment I think.'

'You, falling asleep on a _Japanese_ assignment? The guy who _loves_ languages?'

'Mmm hmm.' That was followed by a stifled yawn and a clatter, before another apology.

'What was that?'

'Dropped the phone. My hands are still asleep.'

The frown became more pronounced as the words slurred a little. 'You sound like you haven't slept at all. Did you have a nightmare or something?'

'No idea,' the other mumbled. 'Was too tired.'

'Well, just go back to sleep and get some decent rest. You missed the science test today by the way, so you'll need a medical certificate.'

The other made a non-committal noise of agreement, but he seriously doubted he was going to remember. The raven-haired boy sounded like he was going to fall asleep on his feet. Literally.

'On second thought, give the phone to your mother.'

He heard the sound of the phone being passed, then lethargic footholds trudging off somewhere. Hopefully to bed.

* * *

Tomoko had kept her son home the following day as well, calling the school's administration to inform them. They were more than supportive, though they did warn her than Kouichi's schoolwork would soon slide if the frequent absences continued.

There wasn't much that could be done though; it was as if he had never recovered his full potential after the brief shock. A few days at school, less than a week now, was enough to completely tire him out, and he was lucky to make it through without his body simply collapsing from wear. It had happened too, twice...though the second time had luckily been at home. More frequent though was the brief blackouts which would leave him against a wall or locker or door or table, and on occasion, the floor, without any inkling as to how he had wound up there.

So she had suggested splitting the week and recuperating, and he, after a brief discussion, had agreed, using the time to sleep and catch up with the work...until about last week where even that was failing now.

He had after all been writing the same paragraph on that essay for four consecutive days. And now, he had finally progressed to the next one.

Now, she prayed to a God whose faith therein was rapidly dwindling. Her mother had died the same way, though at a far greater age, in the end though wasting away in a hospital bed with none of the calm vibrance she had once exhibited.

Was her son too to share the same fate, at an age that was far too cruel to be cut short?

'Do not think about drinking that coffee young man,' she said suddenly, watching said son reach for the coffee tin.

The other made a face, rubbing his eyes with one hand to chase out the remaining sleep, and spooning some of the brown grinded mixture into the cup. 'It's for you 'kaa-san,' he said. 'I'm fine with the milk.'

She frowned worriedly when she noted he had taken nothing else with the tall glass. 'Breakfast,' she said in an almost reprimanding tone, though she knew he hadn't had much of an appetite lately. Neither had she, though she may have been reading too much into the recent events.

'Are you okay?' she checked, looking her son over.

Kouichi nodded, looking far better than he had yesterday. 'I'm fine 'kaa-san.'

'Headache?' she checked. 'You had one yesterday.'

'Gone.' He smiled at her, blue eyes sparkling. 'And I'm ready for school. And that makeup test.'

His eyes dimmed slightly at her relief, though the two things were largely disconnected. ''kaa-san?' he began hesitantly, before shaking his head. 'Never mind.'

He wasn't sure he really wanted to know the answer to that question.

* * *

'Hey, Kouichi. Door's open.'

Yoshiko hadn't been facing her friend when she said that, simply assuming he was following as she walked into the classroom for advanced Japanese and deposited her books. It was only when she had slipped into her desk and waited for the tell-tale signs of someone slipping into the chair beside her that never came, she pushed her own back, and walked straight back out of the classroom.

'Kouichi?' she asked again.

The hat was covering his eyes, so she couldn't really see whether they were open or closed. His books were however on the floor, as though they had slipped from a numb or lax grip, and then ignored.

'Kouichi!' she shouted loudly, ignoring the look she received from a passing teacher and causing the addressed to slump into the wall before she caught his arm. 'You fell asleep on the wall? Seriously, you're worse than Akihiro.' Under the playful jibe was an undertone of worry though; he was only ever so distracted and unmindful of his surrounding when he was sick. And goodness knew how many times one small body could tolerate being sick.

The other lifted his head slightly in a faint bewilderment. 'Huh? No, I-'

He broke off to blink at the books at his feet, before crouching down to pick them up, head spinning slightly. The textbook slipped from his fingers again (they felt oddly numb), landing on his knee before he picked it up with his free hand and tucked it neatly into the small pile.

'Are you coming down with something?' Yoshiko asked.

Kouichi grimaced. 'I hope not. I'm missing enough school as it is.'

'Why though?' A tad rhetorical, but she wanted to hear it from his mouth.

'I've just been too tired...' the boy sighed, as they rejoined the class and sat in their seats (or in Kouichi's case, slumped). 'It's weird though. Doesn't really feel like I'm getting sleep, but I'm in bed for hours. And...' he hesitated here, before deciding to tell her, the girl who was like an older sister to her, the truth. 'I'm scared.'

She nodded, even more concerned now. It took a lot for any of her three male friends to admit their fear. Especially out of the blue like that.

'You've been tired like this before,' she pointed out reasonably. 'Could be just the seasonal flu. Remember last year? You started missing classes till you skipped an entire fortnight, then you were back on your feet...only to find out Minoru forgot to tell you about the exams. Who knows, maybe we're all getting paranoid about nothing. Maybe that shock was from a heat stroke. You were sick before it. And you're immune system's down in the slumps now.'

She laughed, but there was no humour in it.

'Wouldn't it be ridiculous if it was nothing?'

It sure would...if luck favoured them. Was it too much to hope for though?

Because she was hoping against that hope that that nightmare didn't come true. She didn't want to lose a friend that was practically a little brother to her. And she knew no-one else wanted to lose him too.


	10. Cliffhanger

**Author's Notes**

STEP Eitken is like the English version of the Kanken I mentioned in chapter 7. A lot of schools start English studies either at the start of junior or senior high school, but some start in elementary school and so have some prior knowledge. Grade 3 is the benchmark for junior high graduates, and the lowest is grade 5. It's a four skills test, assessing reception and production. It is conducted three times a year: January/February, June/July and October/November. They've already had a trimester at junior high school, so the students must have learnt _something_ by now. And I just love Kouichi having a good grasp on languages. We're in August now to anyone who got lost (which is my fault, as I don't remember mentioning it). And the second stage of the STEP Eitken, the oral component, takes place a month after the other. And I seriously doubt they want to be coming in during the holidays. So first part, beginning of July (End of 1st trimester). Second term, beginning/mid August (beginning of 2nd trimester). And its a standardised test, so you can't really miss them...I would think anyway, unless it's something really drastic.

A note of fevers. You notice people get grumpy right before their temperature soars (well, mostly). Also, drinking and washing your face with cool water tends to temporarily stem off the effects, as does sweating, seeing as the water evaporates from the skin and consequently lowers the core body temperature. Of course, if it's some sort of infection, it returns with a vengeance.

And some cardiology for you guys (I wanted to be a cardiologist when I was little, but they don't offer the specific major, so I'll see what happens with that after graduation): symptoms of restrictive cardiomyopathy include coughing, difficulty breathing, fatigue, poor exercise tolerance, loss of appetite, abnormal pulse, chest pain, decreased alertness...well, those are the only ones I used so far. It can lead to cardiogenic shock, hence chapter five, and eventual heart failure. Signs of heart failure can appear soon after a shock, but that doesn't mean the person will die that soon. Symptoms include: apart from the common systems with myopathy, palpitations, difficulty sleeping, faintness, nausea and vomiting, arrhythmias (abnormal heart rhythm), and infections with high fever. It can also lead to apnea (ie. a form of asphyxiation brought on by cardiac or neurogenic factors generally, but can also be caused by sleeping patterns, drugs etc.). Turning blue is a sign of asphyxiation, though you probably know that from the crime genre. It's quite famous.

Whew, that was one long author's note.

Enjoy, and please *giving puppy dog eyes* tell me what you think. I haven't gotten much feedback with this particular story of late. Have I lost you guys already? *Sniffs* No, come back...I hate being alone (a trait I share with Kouichi there, don't know how Kouji stood it).

Anywho, he's the chapter...

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 9 – Cliffhanger**

He woke up to his mother shaking him. It was becoming a regular occurrence not; left to his own devices, he would sleep the whole day through, and the next as well. Another thing, which one would have found rather amusing in any other situation, was the soft but heavy wheezes which escaped from him in those hours...rather like snoring actually, and in fact, one could mistake it for such...if an awakening didn't bring with it a bout of coughing and a desperate need for air which was soon placated.

At least it woke him up beyond the 'zombie' state, leaving him with his head reeling and a swirling image of his mother. 'School,' she said softly. 'And I'm taking you to the doctor after the STEP Eitken.'

He mumbled something, one hand coming up to rub his eyes, only for the numb fingers to accidently poke him instead.

'Oww...' he mumbled, once the pain registered. He was in no mood for an oral test, on a language he wasn't entirely fluent in either, though he was better off than a lot of students since his grandmother had enjoyed learning various dialects herself (something he had apparently inherited) and had taught him much before her death. Most of the class had in fact not even made it to the second stage, seeing as they had begun simply the term before. Several, who went to cram school like Yoshiko (and Minoru, but they didn't seem to help when it came to languages), and those who had started from elementary school, had also progressed to the next level. But that was about one or two students per class of over thirty.

His head simply wouldn't stop swimming as he crawled out from under his blankets. He was sick of them anyway, waking up enough times in the night lately for them to become a little _too_ familiar. Not to mention he was still tired...though at this stage, having missed more school than he could live through to be honest, he was far more bored than tired. And he was starting to get faintly annoyed at the insistent worry...especially since now Kouji was sounding rather odd when he had needed to cancel a visiting weekend on a day where his body simply refused to travel any further than the length of the house.

'Are you sure you're up to taking the test?' Tomoko asked worriedly.

'Sure,' he replied. 'It's just a dialogue.'

He _was_ feeling better too...save the swimming head and the stifling atmosphere of his room, but then again, it was rather hot during this time of the year, so there was probably a good reason. Some water was all he needed. And an asprin. And hopefully, he wouldn't lose his dinner in the process.

'Oota-san is picking you up today, seeing as she's driving Akihiro-kun,' she continued. 'Be ready in ten minutes, okay honey? I'll be leaving soon too.'

'Hai Okaa-san.'

* * *

'At this rate you're going to beat my record,' Akihiro joked, albeit in concern. Seriously, the kid didn't come to school all week, and then he manages to fall asleep in the car...until being rather rudely awoken. 'You're spending more time out of school than in it.'

'I'm just doing the test,' he mumbled, leaning his slick and rather warm forehead against the cool glass. ''kaa-san's taking me to the Doctor's after that. I'm probably just coming down with a flu.'

'A very slow flu,' he pointed out, leaning back to place a hand to the other's forehead. 'You're hot.'

'Funnily enough,' Kouichi said dryly. 'I realised that.'

He fumbled with the door handle, until Akihiro climbed out of the other passenger seat and opened it for him.

'I could have done that myself,' he muttered, though accepting the help, turning to bow to the fair haired woman who had driven them. 'Arigato.'

'You take care of yourself Kouichi-kun,' Oota Miyuki smiled at him. 'Don't work too hard.'

She drove off with a wave to her only son, who turned as soon as he was gone to stare at his friend. 'You know,' he said. 'You look like me the day after a fierce workout. Only you _never_ work out that hard.'

'I just don't like sport,' the boy sighed, trudging off to homeroom. 'You make it sound like I'm being lazy.'

'No. I make it sound like you're sick way too often. Seriously, you're-'

He cut off suddenly as the other stumbled, grabbing his wrist to steady him and finding a blue tinge at the edge of the fingertips. Because it wasn't something that related commonly to sport (give him a concussion or a broken bone, and he'd reel of facts as good as any science student), he didn't recognise the cause. He did recognise though that they looked nothing like blue ink, which was the only logical explanation that came to mind. Well, except asphyxiation, but seeing as he was still breathing relatively fine (a little on the heavy side with the occasional coughing boats), it couldn't be that.

'Did you get ink on your fingers?' he asked anyway.

'Iie,' the other mumbled, trying and failing to get his hand out of the other's grip.

Akihiro began to say something else, but the bell rang before he could. 'Oh crap, the bell.'

Without waiting for the other's reaction, he dragged him by the wrist he still held.

* * *

Less than five minutes after they slipped into their seats, and to Akihiro's utter surprise, not scolded for their tardiness, Kouichi was finding it extremely difficult to pay attention to anything except the thundering drums pounding in his ears, the nauseous feeling settling into his churning stomach and the fact that he simply wasn't getting enough air.

He tried to take a deep breath, only for his chest to tighten and almost explode in pain. A pained whimper escaped his lips, to be heard by Akihiro beside him, who was out of his seat in a flash and pulling the raven haired male up from his slumped position. 'Kouichi? Damn it, you really are sick!'

By then, their homeroom teacher had made it over to the pair, taking in the almost chalk white pallor flushed with red, the fluttering eyelids and the wheezing breaths which seemed like they won't providing enough air. One hand found its way to the slick forehead, noting the spike in temperature that he was sure had not been apparent when he had entered the room. The other took a wrist, knowing the slightly blue tinge on the fingertips and apparent veins, feeling the beats skip in rhythm.

He turned to stare at Akihiro, though it must have come out as a rather strict glare as the other immediately started stammering something about it not being his fault.

'Oota,' he snapped. 'Go get the nurse. The rest of you, out.'

No-one argued.

* * *

The fever made its way out of the danger zone slower than it had made its way in, and Kouichi had fallen asleep on Akihiro's back (the nurse had decided that since he flat out refused to leave, he could make himself useful) by the time the taller boy carried him to the infirmary. The rest of homeroom had continued in the corridor during that time, much to the bafflement of the principal passing through, and the first period was littered with hushed discussions...not all of them entirely accurate.

As thus, it was no surprise that Yoshiko and Minoru, both in their separate classes, heard of the commotion. And it was also no surprise (although the teachers weren't _too_ pleased) that they joined their two friends in the infirmary.

The only thing that they _did_ find surprising was that Kouichi, once his head, and more specifically his breathing, was more placate thanks to a tranquiliser to soothe the over-excited heart (or so Eri said, but the students were having a little trouble understanding _why_ that was the case; they were all sure she was hiding something, but something in their sick friend's face stuck the question in their throats), had flat out refused to skip the oral component of the STEP Eitken even after a raw throat from the vomiting incited from nausea, forcing the jumpy examiner to converse with him in the sterile room.

Apparently, a constantly sick and tired Kouichi invited an irritated Kouichi, and _that_ invited an extremely stubborn one. Although even that was forced to relent (not of his own violation though) when his fever alarmingly spiked again and his breaths ceased. Literally.

They had no warning that second time. Eri had finally succeeded in chasing the two boys away, but the girl remained, seeing as her second double-period teacher was absent that day. Lucky for her, as there were no grounds to dismiss her back to class.

The examiner had taken her for a brief moment so she could undertake her own exam. Returning back, she found Kouichi sleeping on the white bedsheets, so simply drew up a chair and watched him as the nurse turned to other matters, returning every now and then to measure core temperature and heart rate.

She frowned lightly. Everyone, the adults that was, seemed to be checking his heart rate lately. But he had never mentioned any sort of heart problem, and she was sure that something like that at least, either he or his mother would have mentioned.

Still...something was wrong. Something further than a weak immune system attracting viruses and bacterial infections. Something that she didn't know. Something that Akihiro and Minoru didn't know, seeing as they had the emotional block of a sheet of aluminium foil when it came to family or friends. Something that she suspected, from his confession, that Kouichi didn't know either.

But at the same time, something was stopping her from pushing for an answer. She knew how important trust was to Kouichi. She knew how hurt he had been when he found his mother had never mentioned his brother to him and his grandmother only on her deathbed (including the Duskmon saga in the Digital World, but that was more her stealing his journal and noting the odd tale, forcing him to explain), and she knew he needed to be able to trust that whatever knowledge he had the right and need to know would be given to him...without him pushing past barriers he didn't have the heart to break.

Caught up in her thoughts and the pale appearance of her friend, a wash cloth covering his eyes and seeping a little cool water through to maintain a lower temperature, she hadn't noticed a change at all. His chest rose and fell slowly under the thin sheet, one hand unconsciously clutching the fabric of his shirt in the slight pain that showed on his otherwise tranquil expression.

It was so gradual to a person thinking of him and nothing else, that she hadn't noticed the lack of movement till the nurse, checking on her patient again, gave an exclamation of alarm, causing the brunette to fall of her chair.

'What is it?' she gasped, one hand over her own heart.

Eri took a deep breath, ignored the question, and reached for the phone with one hand, using the other to pull the patient into a supine position, gesturing at the suddenly panic-stricken girl to hold him there.

Luckily for them both, she kept her head and held him steady as a calm female voice answered the call.


	11. Admission

**Author's Notes**

The characters are acting a little out of character here, but seeing as what's happening, I think it's pretty in character as far as having an out of character situation goes. If that makes sense to anyone...made better sense in my head, but I can't be bothered sorting out syntax after that monster of an essay.

About updates, I'm going to try and update three times a week: Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays, so I should get it finished by mid-October, but with...well, unpredictable "stuff" to be honest, I may not always be able to do that. I'll try by best though, and you guys keep reading and enjoying. Hey, if I do finish, this will be my longest fic (chapter wise) to date that's actually complete. Cool. Which means the next time round, I'll have to try beating that. Or a few times over...

And on an interesting note about my writing if anyone's curious, if I can get the reactions out of myself that I'm aiming for in other people, then I think I've done a really good job. And writing this chapter almost had me in tears. So that's a big tick in my checkbook. Not many actually manage to do that, though they all go online anyway.

Anywho, enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 10 – Admission**

He was sleeping peacefully now, a thin canal running through his nostrils and a needle piecing the vein about his wrist, but that was going to change when he woke up. That peace. She knew that.

_'I'm sorry Kimura-san, but the shock, then the infection so soon after...his heart is failing. Slowly, painfully, but it is failing.'_

She stifled the sobs behind her hand, wanting her son to have this last rest before his freedom was destroyed.

'_Isn't there anything?'_

_ 'Perhaps...given time, his body may be able to adapt a little better to its state, but the current situation points simply to further decline. A heart transplant may help, but at this stage, he would more like die from asphyxiation before the operation is complete, even with the support of an oxygen mask or tube.'_

_ 'So there isn't-' Her voice broke off with a sob._

_ 'I'm sorry Kimura-san.' The doctor's professional mannerism was cracking in the face of a distraught woman with whom he had worked for years. 'All we can do now is pray, and hope. But you must know he can't go home for awhile.' If ever, but he reserved enough tact to not say that out loud._

'Kouichi...'

He stirred a little as his mother's voice, but didn't wake, heart monitor still beeping rhythmically to reassure her he still lived. After the call from the hospital, telling her he had stopped breathing, that his pulse had died to almost nothing...she wasn't ready. And she never would be.

After all, no mother wanted to say goodbye to their child. Or bury them.

And she was going to have to tell him now. And that could break the trust he had in her, after separating the boys for so long...

She shook her head, tears building on the edges of her eyelids. How many mistakes could one woman make..?

No, she knew, within her heart, that this choice had been the right one. She just hoped there was enough time for her son to see that, because they all could see that this was a tale that was reaching its climax.

And from that, a drop off a steep cliff. Whether there would be something to break the fall...no-one could say, but they all hoped.

Caught up as she was, she hadn't noticed the blue eyes staring at her.

'kaa-san?' His voice sounded weak, barely audible, but what else could be expected from someone with a dying heart and whose fever had just broken less than an hour ago.

'Hai Kouichi-chan?' she smiled at him, but inside, her own heart shuddered. 'Is there something you wanted?'

He was silent for a moment, eyelids slipping over blue eyes, tired, exhausted, but still fighting.

'What-' He hesitated briefly here, but it was too late now for denials. He felt like he had slept for awhile, but his body still felt heavy and numb. All he had been doing lately it seemed was sleeping, being simply too tired to do anything else despite how stir-crazy he was getting in doing so, and it wasn't the smooth, continuous, dreamless sleep he desired, the one where time could fly past without remembrance, but small, burst fragments which seemed to sometimes only exhaust him further. The waking hours seemed to mush together at times; the last thing he could remember relatively clearly was the oral conversation, simply discussing personal information: his name, age, family, friends, hobbies...but this wasn't the infirmary. Because the infirmary at least didn't have a white ceiling. His room didn't either. The hospital did however, although it took a few minutes for his brain to put those pieces together, wanting to go back to sleep and yet not simultaneously.

'What's wrong with me?' he asked eventually, pulling his mind temporarily out of the fog to lap thirstily at the knowledge he needed, turning his gaze away from his mother and back to the ceiling, not wanting to see her expression. 'Why am I so-aargh!' He gave a sudden cry of frustration as the tears he had not wanted to shed prickled at the edge of his vision, the reflexive action of gripping the linen failing to occur simply because his hands were too numb.

Tomoko had jumped a little at the sudden exclamation, before hesitantly reaching out to embrace her son.

'Y-you're heart's failing,' she said slowly, choking back her own sobs. It wasn't fair! None of this was fair. But then, life never was.

Kouichi's mind suddenly went blank. Later, he would realise that this was a pretty obvious conclusion, if anyone had been thinking rationally. But no-one had. Not before, and not then.

'Restrictive cardiomyopathy,' she continued, mumbling into his hair. 'The heart doesn't...relax properly in the diastole phase, and eventually-'

'-stops pumping blood effectively, leading to shock, stroke or heart failure,' Kouichi interrupted, twisting slightly as if to get out of her grasp.

Tomoko understood, releasing her son with a heavy mass of lead in her chest.

'Am I going to die?' he asked softly, almost emotionlessly.

She froze at that. 'Maybe,' she replied in a whisper, when the silence stretching between them became too much. 'But maybe not.'

The tone was enough to tell which was the more likely scenario.

'I'm not going back home, am I?'

She noticed the emphasis on the word 'home'.

'No, no you aren't.'

The blue eyes, darkened in hue, stared up at the blank white ceiling, slight shadows leaning upon it from the evening sun's rays bouncing off the trees outside.

Silence stretched again.

'Kouichi?' his mother asked hesitantly, looking into his face and being, a rare occasion, unable to read the expression that lurked behind those eyes. The facial expression wasn't much of a help: flat, numb...

'Why?' he screamed suddenly, eyes snapping shut as moist tears streaked down his cheeks. 'It's not fair! I don't want to stay here! I don't want to die!'

The beeping increased in the background, but he blocked it out, not even noticing the noise, or the flurry of activity it brought about.

'Kou-' Tomoko began, only to be interrupted.

'Don't!' His eyes flew open to glare and a needle pricked him, but it felt so far away that his brain didn't even register the action till a while after. One arm tried to yank up under a sudden surge of adrenaline, only to be stopped by something clamped on to his wrist. 'Just shut up! Go away! You should have said something! You knew. Just like Kouji,...and you...never...'

Blurrily, he realised his lips weren't forming the words anymore. His eyelids dropped before he even noticed, and before his mind could register the fact that he had just been drugged, the tranquiliser took its full unconsciousness-inducing effect.

Tomoko backed away slightly, and Doctor Kawano beside her put a comforting hand on her shoulder. 'He's just upset,' he said quietly to her. 'No-one could really expect less.'

She nodded tearfully, listening to the monitor return to its monotonous rhythm.

'I think it would be best to give him some time to think,' he continued. 'In any case, visiting hours are over.'

* * *

Whatever voices he expected to hear as he, quite suddenly, became aware of the blackness cloaking him, the one he did hear was not it. To be honest, he had been somewhat hoping for silence, but all the fight had essentially been knocked out of him, and all he could really do was lie in the position he was in, open his eyes about halfway (they refused to open completely) and perhaps, hold a less-than-normal toned conversation.

Most of him was still hurt, and as people well knew, it was an effect that tended to expand radially.

'What are you doing here?'

Kouji jumped a little at the sudden sound, finding tired blue eyes partially open and regarding him with an odd assortment of emotions on his face.

'Visiting you of course,' he replied, as soon as he found his voice.

'Skipping school.'

'Actually, no. The class is on a field trip to Fukushima for the next few days, so I can stay here till Sunday without teachers on my back. 'tou-san's here too; his boss wouldn't let him come, so he went to the higher ups and got permission. Satomi couldn't come though, it was too short notice for her to be able to get practical exemption. You know how they require five working days and all that-'

He was blabbing. He only did that when something was seriously bothering him. And it wasn't the fact he was sick; Kouji would simply get overprotective. He'd seen that before.

'You're blabbing,' he replied, still scrutinising, before something clicked. 'Fukushima? Isn't that the field trip you've been wanting to go to for ages?'

Kouji shrugged. 'You're more important. Besides, I had a feeling that you'd be going crazy in here first of all, and that...well...you'd be a little upset with 'kaa-san at some point.'

'That's an understatement.' The other tried to lift a wrist again, only to find it restrained. 'Figures they'd chain me to the bed.'

'For a good reason,' his brother pointed out. 'And glaring isn't going to help,' he added, noting the half-energized glare they were getting. 'But aren't you being a little hypocritical?'

The eyes snapped back to him, fast enough to make his vision momentarily blur. 'What?'

'Remember what we talked about, before I told 'tou-san about meeting you?'

'Humour me,' the other said tiredly. 'We talk too often and too much.'

'Well, I wouldn't say "too",' Kouji replied, biting his lip lightly. 'But I meant specifically when we were talking about how it would be unfair to blame someone individually when there were heaps of other factors, most of which we couldn't or else wouldn't blame, involved. And you're doing exactly that now.'

Kouichi didn't say anything, though his eyes narrowed slightly in thought.

'Maybe she should have told you. Maybe she was right not to, because you had more than twelve years of not having to worry about the fact that it was a very real possibility that it was your last.' He noted wryly that he was being rather calm about the whole situation. No doubt the shock had passed over, and not yet come. 'Would you have enjoyed it, or grown as much as you have, with that looming over your head. Because personally, and I mean no offence in saying this, I think you would have lost your mind quite a few years ago.'

'You knew.'

'Yeah.'

Silence. But Kouji let it stretch. No doubt the other needed to think about it.

'By the way,' he said eventually. 'Did you wake up after that shot?'

'Yeah,' Kouichi replied, a little distracted by the other train of thought.

'Mmm-hmm.'

Another pause.

'You're right,' he said finally. 'I guess I was just-'

'Upset and ready to spontaneously combust?' The dry humour behind that question was enough to crack a small smile onto the other's face.

'Something like that,' he admitted. 'And a stubborn block that had been growing for awhile.'

'Well, it's a good thing your stubborn blocks aren't like mine then,' the other said, grinning slightly at the humorous turn the conversation was taking. 'You'd need a sledgehammer to break them down. Or a Ni-san.'

'Well, it's just too bad I don't have one then...'

'Ni-san?'

'Tired, sick, and sick of being tired,' he replied slowly, before the other had the chance to ask.

The other couldn't help but laugh at that. 'Feeling better?'

'Hai. Arigato.'

'No problem. Now just say you're sorry to 'kaa-san, and then go back to sleep. And don't look at me like that, you need it.'

When he returned that evening, he found his mother affectionally stroking the short cropped hair, with his brother curled up as best as he could while chained to the bed (a necessary, and seeing his reaction, a wise precaution to keep him _in_ bed when he needed to be).


	12. Caged

**Author's Notes**

A bit of an experimental chapter. Good days, bad days. Discussions and introspections...focuses on Kouichi, so if you were after the rest of the gang, you'll have to wait till…well, next chapter for some. A few chapters later for others.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 11 – Caged**

The ex-legendary warriors in Tokyo had decided to pay Kouichi a visit, even Junpei who had begged his parents for permission despite the fact that he was supposed to be studying for the entrance exams. They had let, seeing the reason, on the condition that the visits were only conducted on days where there was no school and no major assignments pending, and that he spent the three hours it took to travel interstate revising the examinable material. Tomoki's parents were a little concerned about the lack of a chaperone, until Yutaka intervened and pointed out that the twins' mother would be meeting them in Minami, and there was always the highly supportive aunt of Junpei willing to loan her assistance, seeing as again, all the children would not fit into the space the Kimura household had to offer.

They arrived at the hospital just before visiting hours finished, so all they got in was a wave before they were shoed away, and Tomoko with them.

That was okay; he'd be there tomorrow. Right?

Apparently wrong, as by the time they got there, thanks to traffic and some blatant disorganisation, the room was empty.

Kouji, very briefly, panicked, until Junpei, far more sensibly, tracked down a nurse and found out another had wheeled him to the garden and a bit of fresh air. Of course, that sent the younger twin straight outside, before the lady in uniform managed to complete her sentence and informed the other four (Tomoko was working that day) that the four person rule only applied _inside_ the hospital rooms.

When they caught up, they found the alleged nurse nowhere in sight and the twins, elder tucked into a wheelchair, younger behind him, enjoying the fresh air, and looking quite normal, all things considered...if you took away the portable oxygen, the wheelchair and the hospital clothes.

'Hey Kouichi,' Takuya waved. 'How're you doing?'

'Just fine,' he smiled back, but there was a hint of dullness in the blue eyes that returned to meet them all. 'The Doctor let me go out today.'

They could all here the "finally" buried in there.

They started talking almost spontaneously then (mostly the five from Tokyo with Kouichi listening), about random conversation topics, anything from Takuya's latest soccer practice that had ended in a mudfest to Izumi's latest admirer (who had coincidently gone home with a broken nose) to the love lost between Akihiro, Kouji, and as Kouichi pointed out to the others' surprise, Minoru.

'I don't hate them,' Kouji grumbled as soon as the topic arose.

'We never said that,' Tomoki blinked. 'But you guys sure don't get along.'

'Oh, they're just jealous,' Izumi grinned, getting a confirming nod from the elder twin, staring at the bare Sakura tree. 'Think about it. Forget Kichida-chan for a moment; she's a girl. But Oota-kun and Samurakami-kun are boys, and pretty overprotective of Kouichi. So is Kouji. Those other two know him longer. Kouji's related by blood. Threatened. Jealous. You get the point.'

'You make it sound like they're fighting over Kouichi,' Junpei pointed out.

'Not at all. They're just a little rocky because of that. Personally, I think they just need a talk. Which won't be happening any time soon,' she added, seeing as the twins had drifted into their own little world.

'Do you know what the Sakura blossoms symbolise?' Kouichi asked suddenly, voice barely heard over the gentle wind and hums from the humidifier.

'Iie.' Kouji looked at his twin, who's face had lost the contentedness it had had a little previously, when the smell of the air and the general atmosphere had been new and a change to the mundane hospital room.

'They symbolise life...and death.'

'Hey,' Takuya interrupted suddenly, deciding the conversation had gone far enough. 'Why don't you draw this?'

'Can't,' the other mumbled slowly, looking at his lap. 'I can't keep the pencil in my hands.' He blinked a bit soonafter, as if trying to stay aware enough to continue a demonstration.

'You're tired,' Kouji decided, seizing the handles. 'I'll wheel you back to your room.'

'It's the medication,' the other replied, but said nothing further. His head hurt, but not physically. It was almost as if the freedom had been zapped from it, always, save a precious hour or so after a long rest, swimming in a grey haze, thoughts jumbled beyond recognition or any form of understanding at all.

'Are you okay?'

'Sure.'

But he was lying. And they all knew it. Because how could he be fine?

'Kimura-kun.' A nurse, a male this time, had arrived...or in Kouichi's case, returned. 'Time to go back.'

He looked at the Sakura tree one more time, then his friends, then nodded. His head was starting to spin again.

* * *

He lay still in the blackness, like a wax doll waiting for life to be given to it. Not awake. Not asleep. Just somewhere in between. And it was something that was starting to become extremely familiar, in a dull, echoing but still terrifying sort of way.

It was one of days again, and he simply couldn't spare the energy to be sick of it. Nor could he spare the energy to wake up properly, as in open his eyes and clear his mind enough to hold a conversation at the very least...or even listen to someone talking, because someone was. It all sounded like a mumbled blur to him though, and after a few moments (he wasn't sure he could measure time in such a state), he found he had drifted off again into the haze of continuous, dulled pain. Rather, he found out the next time he awoke with doctors and nurses poking and prodding him, and his entire body aching.

'Rise and shine,' one he had the "honour" of seeing quite regularly sang off key. 'You don't want to miss the end of summer now, do you?'

His eyelids still felt heavy, and his head might as well have been stuffed to the brim in cotton ball for all the sense everyone was making.

'You gave us quite a scare,' someone else, a male this time, said. 'Are you feeling better?'

He was feeling worse than he had in the last...two weeks, he thought a little blurrily, and they were asking if he felt _better_?

After a moment of stillness, his attempts to work his mouth around to emit some sort of sound...well, partially succeeded. His lips moved, but nothing came out...though a cool gust of pure, crisp air puffed its way through his trachea and into his lungs.

'We'll take that out now,' the male said, a blurred mass of blue as he came nearer. 'This will hurt a bit.'

It did. His throat was screaming in protest, and suddenly, something else was screaming in his ear: the heartbeat monitor, he managed to note, and he saw a blur of colour past his half-opened eyes. Then there was something cool trickling down his throat, the raw skin lapping it up without any conscious command, lighting through the mist a little. Distantly, he felt his fingers touch something cold.

'Just rest,' someone, this time a voice he didn't recognise, said gently, soothingly...almost motherly.

Rest...was that all he could do effectively nowadays? Trapped in a circle where minute burst of energy followed hours of sleep at the peak, and lost in a fevered or drugged haze at rock bottom?

Laughter bubbled from within him, and he didn't even try holding them back. Nor could he have if he tried; his body wasn't exactly being rather obedient. Heh, Kouji would grind him into mincemeat for even thinking that...not to mention the rest of his friends. Maybe Tomoki would spare him...nah, he could be as tough as an icepick when the need arose.

Above him, but still blurred beyond recognition even as the half-lidded eyes slid fully closed and the brief and weak laughter bubbled into nothing, the nurses and doctor exchanged glances, the doctor particularly with a weary look on his face. They weren't sure if that reaction was a good thing or a bad, but in any case, it wasn't one to be discouraged. It took a lot after all to see the gaps between the bars of a cage, but very little to cover them up.


	13. Falling Apart

**Author's Notes**

I got through half this chapter, then the file got corrupt. Which tends to really bug me because I can never get the contents back the way I want it.

There are some religious implications in this chapter, but more of a discussion faiths than anything else, with each to their own basically. No debates or saying one is better than the other or anything like that, just how some of the different characters face the concept of a God influencing their life. Some characters in Digimon if you notice are notably religious, such as Hida Iori and his grandfather in Digimon ZeroTwo, and Matsuda Takato in Tamers (remember the scene at the shrine). Others aren't really made to clear, so it's open to author's freedom in that aspect.

On a lighter note, a Kouji-centric chapter. Though he did share the spotlight with Kouichi for a while...well, maybe not spotlight, more like artificial hospital light.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 12 – Falling Apart**

'Um...Minamoto-kun-'

'What?' Kouji turned to give the girl hailing him a ferocious glare, making her visibly tremble. She was a student in his Japanese class and a shy girl by nature; it generally took her weeks to walk up to someone she barely knew and more so to ask them something of importance. And being faced the closest Kouji would ever get to a baited-wolf (or so those who were closer to home hoped) didn't help matters in the slightest.

'I...um...that is...well...' she stuttered, lowering her gaze to avoid the burning angry blue, before all courage she had gathered fled, and she turned slowly on the spot, before fleeing down a hallway and past the brunette witnessing the whole spectacle.

'Kouji,' Takuya began, closing the gap while keeping a "safe" distance between himself and the volatile pre-teen. He knew well what sort of damage the martial artist could do when twisted till he snapped, and he wouldn't want to be in an arm's length for that...unless he could somehow stop him from hurting himself or someone else _without_ getting hurt himself. Like suddenly sprouting KaiserGreymon's armour, or Susanoomon's for that matter. Boy was he glad his armour was superior to the warrior of light's, though, he noted with some amusement at the tangent his thoughts had taken him to, it didn't really matter seeing as neither had their spirits and weren't about to duke it out in an all out digital brawl. Heck, they weren't going to fight at all...hopefully. Fingers crossed. Kama willing.

Now that he thought about it, did the twins' family even believe in a God? He didn't remember either of the twins mentioning anything, save an offhand comment about destiny. But, as Izumi had pointed out, flicking her long golden hair behind her, one didn't need to believe in a divine being to believe in fate.

'I know how you feel,' he continued. 'We all do, but you can't-'

'Shut up,' the other growled, turning the glare on him instead. Takuya stood firm though; the dark circles under his eyes made the gaze far less threatening than its full potential. 'How can you understand?'

He whipped around on his own heel then and stalked off, missing the quiet reply.

'Because he's one of my best friends,' the brunette spoke to the empty hallway. 'And I have a brother too.'

Saying that, he wondered how it would be like if Shinya were in the elder twin's place.

After a minute, he realised with some sort of moroseness, that he couldn't even begin to describe how it would be like. A few days, and he would be losing his mind...despite how much he complained about the said little brother.

And they hadn't even known each other for all that long either...

He folded his hands together; a trait he had picked up from...who had he picked it up from again? Somewhere in the digital world to be sure; Izumi he thought, but if it was her, she seemed to have lost that habit. This was straining to everyone, even people who so much had never met any of them before a few weeks ago. Kouji was on edge, snapping at anyone who said or did anything at a bad time, whether that be the deprived-of-sleep state or the worrying-about-his-elder-brother state. In fact, the only time he didn't seem to be hanging on his last frays was when he had completely and utterly solid proof that Kouichi was nothing less than sick and tired of the same old hospital room, as after the last fluctuation in his health, Doctor Kawano was not taking any more chances, even if his patient lost his mind staring at blank walls and ceilings every waking moment. Their mother had cried herself dry, though whether that was a good thing or not was anyone's guess to be honest, and their father, for probably the first time in his life, was neglecting his job in favour for something else (though everyone had to admit nothing like this had ever happened before). And then each of Kouichi's two sets of friends were coping quietly.

To be honest, they were more concerned with trying to keep everyone together, that he himself hadn't had much time to think on the situation. They all had, but it seemed that reality had a rather cruel way of slapping people in the face. They may not be related by blood, but they were still a family. And as a family, they supported each other.

At times like this, it was hard. But it was also at times like this where it meant the most.

But even he, reckless and stubborn as he was, knew now was a bad idea to confront Kouji. A better idea would be to find some good news to tell him; last they had heard, the elder twin had been swimming in a fever-induced haze. But he had to be better by now...right? It couldn't hurt to check

That's when he decided to cut class for the first time in his life (studious he was not, but hooky was severely frowned upon in school society) and sneak in a phone call from the roof.

It had just been lucky for him that his first period teacher had been suddenly absent, so through the chaos, no-one had noticed the missing student. Presumably someone had covered for him; he'd have to find out who and thank them profusely later. They saved him a suspension and a month grounding at the very least.

'Hey, Kouji!' he yelled, running and catching the other's wrist as he transited between science and PE. He dropped his voice immediately afterwards; no need to tell teachers he was breaking the rules after all. 'Kouichi's awake, sleepy, but fine.'

The other stared at him, as if telling him if it were a lie, he'd have sighed his last breath. 'How do you know?'

A sheepish grin. 'I rang the hospital and asked?'

'And skipped class?'

'Hey, you two are more important.'

Kouji turned his head away, but the brunette's strong grip stopped him from getting any further. 'Besides, someone needs to stick you together.'

The other looked at him sourly. 'My _twin brother_ is dying.'

'What happened to the 'never give up hope'? Takuya asked gently, tugging him by the arm and leading him to a more secluded area, the bottom of a stairwell. 'He can pull through you know. He's strong.'

'You saw him.'

A pause.

'Yeah...yeah I did.' He stayed silent a little more, before continuing. 'You know, the nurse told me he was laughing last she saw. We'll need to ask him what was so funny, though I'll bet he was thinking that if he ever thought about giving up, we'd turn him into charcoal...oh come on. That should have cheered you up.'

'Laughing isn't necessarily a good thing.'

'Kouji, have you _ever_ heard him laughing and not being amused?'

'Well...no.'

'There you go. And what will he think if he knows you've given up on him.'

'I haven't-' Kouji made to protest, but the other smoothly cut him off.

'It sounds like that to me. What happened to the Kouji who controlled the spirits of light and darkness in his body and created Susanoomon after watching his brother being killed? What happened to the Kouji who was begging his brother to live on in that care centre, even when the monitor was showing nothing but flat lines? C'mon, if we don't believe in him, who will?'

The blue eyes blurred with tears, the first he had allowed himself to shed. 'I'm scared 'kuya, of losing him.'

The brunette embraced him. 'We all are,' he confessed. 'And I'm sure Kouichi is too. But you can't give into that fear. You can't let it control you. There are going to be bad days where all you want to do is give up, when everything appears hopeless...but you have to remember there are good things too. And you have to always hope; never let go of that...or seriously, what God is going to listen to a pessimistic hopeless idiot.'

'I don't believe in any God.'

'You don't?' He supposed he should have been more surprised, but he couldn't really blame him, with all that had happened. 'Does Kouichi?'

'Funnily enough, yes he does. 'kaa-san's losing faith with it, though I think. I just can't bring myself to believe something that isn't tangible, logical and on the rare occasion, my heart isn't crying out to.'

Takuya knew that the last comment related to Duskmon and Duskmon only.

'Too many people who don't deserve to die do,' he continued, in an almost whisper, voice cracking at the end. 'He doesn't deserve this Takuya. He doesn't. And the only reason he believes is because he _needs_ to. He needs someone out there, watching over our lives and having mercy enough to spare us real horror. Because there are more people in the world who are a lot worse off. And that there's a reason these things happen, that things will turn out for the best in the end'

'I can understand that,' the brunette said. 'Blind faith, but I'd rather have that than nothing at all.'

'Blind faith huh?'

Takuya forced a grin at him. 'Well, are you going to quit?'

'No way.' He sniffed a little, embarrassed.

The grin became real. 'That's better. And you better not let me catch that again, or I will seriously turn you _both _into charcoal.'

There needs to be something supporting the circle of domino's after all. If one collapses, the others soon follow.

Hopefully, that wouldn't be soon.

'You know,' the brunette said suddenly. 'I've got an idea. Kouichi hates the white walls and ceiling right? And since we're not allowed to paint the hospital, let's stick posters and stuff up instead. A couple of flower vases, a banner...we'll give the room a complete makeover! And then when he gets home, we'll deal with the apartment's white ceiling too.'

Well...that was one way to look at the sunny side up. And they all so desperately wanted, no, _needed_ to believe the sentiment. Blind faith indeed, but at times like this, it was their saviour.


	14. As Autumn Comes

**Author's Notes**

I found this a rather light chapter, relatively speaking. The next one focuses more on the parents.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 13 – As Autumn Comes**

The last rays of summer had vanished a month ago, maybe more. Autumn had come in all its dull glory, bringing with it a cool change in the outer realm, and more shadows casting the inner as waking hours dwindled in prospects of sleep.

There was a sense of forced lightness in the room, but it was far better than the alternative. Essentially, they were trying to keep a wilted bud living in the hopes that it would bloom into a magnificent rose if it lived long enough, smiling and watering and bringing the sun's rays in.

Even then, there were times where the sun dimmed, when the water dried. There were times where the dark clouds would drift across the weather front and stifle the vibrant image they attempted to maintain in the sterile backdrop. Following Takuya's bright suggestion, everyone had brought something to cheer the room up on the first day of the new season, almost scaring the patient shy a few heartbeats when Junpei decided to bring one of his newer magic tricks...involving something a little too gruesome for his tastes. He had been scolded by the doctor and forced to remove it, but not before hearing the uncontrollable giggles that had erupted after the shock, and with them, the gasping for air and the slight pain that it triggered in his chest.

Things like that brought a harsh reminder to why they were there. Those who lived in Tokyo came whenever they could, generally every fortnight except for the eldest whose schooling dragged him to his books more often than he would like at a time like this. He had mentioned it offhand once, only to be scolded by both Kouichi and his mother to not cast aside such an important part of his education. After all, the entrance exams dictated what senior high school one went to, which then improved one's chances for tertiary education. And for him to go on and engineer machines to improve the new age, he would need to work hard and maintain a certain standard.

That invited the subject of their dreams, and the first of October found the six ex-legendary warriors discussing a far away future, ignoring possibilities, ignoring boundaries...because whatever limitations that could hold them back from their goals could not, in moments of light, deter them from dreaming such.

'I've always wanted to design and build stuff,' Junpei began. 'Using science and mathematics and art...'

'And simplicity,' Izumi added, remembering the boat design he had showed her when they drifted downstream after Grumblemon's attack on the mountain and subsequent scanning of the digi-code.

'A balance between substance and practicality,' the ex-warrior of thunder nodded. 'I'm working on that. My bike model got a B-.'

'That one you were doing on the train last time?' Takuya asked, referring to his last visit which had been over a month ago. 'Damn, that looked way better than a B-.'

'Says you,' the blonde giggled, keeping half an eye on Kouichi, who was being fed slowly by his brother. The nurse had tried, but the younger twin had demanded he do it himself. The poor nurse, deprived of that particular job more often than not between mother, brother, father, stepmother and assortment of friends, had left the Kayu broth on a tray and left. It had been a little embarrassing at first (and a prompt for picture-taking to lighten up the atmosphere a little further) when Kouichi had first tried to feed himself, only for the spoon to fall from his numb fingers with no fault of the restraints (which had been loosened at that point to allow him to eat), but continuing on, it became routine like the checkups, the IV drip, the clip on his finger measuring various aspects of his health, the electrical nodes sometimes attached when his heart rate and blood pressure dropped, and the constant fog in his brain.

'What about you then?' Junpei asked, turning to the female. 'A pilot?'

She gaped at him, looking comical enough in front of a vase of the bright daffodils that the twins couldn't help but laugh at the contrast, Kouji almost dropping the bowl onto his brother's lap as the other coughed and spluttered for a moment, the monotonous beeping spiking a little before he calmed his breaths.

An uncomfortable silence descended at that point, before Izumi, trying to restore some normality to the situation, replied to the question.

'Hai, a pilot.' She still stared at Junpei a little oddly. 'And you know that how?' She suddenly glared. 'You didn't steal my diary, did you? Because if you did, I'll-'

She went on to account a multitude of threats despite the other's stammers of his innocent in the accused crime. It was only when she ran out of breath herself did Junpei managed to get the full sentence out, but by this time, the other three spectators were gasping for breath themselves in their laughter. Kouichi had shut his eyes, predicting the start of the tirade and turning his mind to something else, and realising the reason, Kouji had covered his ears as well; laughter may be a good medicine, but not if it excited his heart too much in an instance where that could trigger a heart attack or failure.

Hmm...dying of laughter. That one would go down in the history books.

'It was just your spirits,' the ex-warrior of thunder continued. 'You loved flying, you're decent in math and humanities, love travelling...it just seemed like a logical choice.'

'True that,' she accepted, before rounding on the fire warrior, who had escaped to relieve his laughter when the others were done to allow Kouichi back into the conversation and since returned. 'And you?'

'I dunno actually,' the brunette shrugged. 'Definitely not a lawyer; 'tou-san's one and he's barely home. I was thinking, maybe an elementary school teacher...or a cop.'

'And those two relate how?' Kouji asked bluntly, putting the bowl away after failing to persuade his brother for a little more.

'They don't,' the brunette said impishly. 'That's the point.'

Blue eyes rolled in exasperation.

'You then?' his rival shot.

'Um...well...'

'He hasn't thought about it,' his brother supplied with some amusement, though quietly enough that the others had to strain to hear him over the monitors.

'He wants to be a researcher,' Kouji said, jerking a thumb at his brother.

'Oh?' Junpei raised an eyebrow. 'Why? I would have thought you, being so good at languages, would want to be a translator or work for the government?'

'Intel? No. I want to explore and learn new things and _not_ get mixed up in international incidents.'

'Had enough of fighting?'

'Hmm...yeah.'

'Well, that leaves me then,' Tomoki piped up amidst the other's exhaustion. 'This is going to sound really stupid, but I want to be a Champion skier.'

'Actually...' Izumi pointed out. 'That makes the most sense, what with Chakkmon and all. Takuya and Kouichi's, no offence to you two, have nothing to do with the digital world at all. And that was like the epitome of our lives.'

'Not true,' Takuya interjected. 'Remember the Village of Beginnings? And the moon?'

'Geeze, if it was the babies, you should become a babysitter.'

'Or a father.'

They shared a smile there, though the patients one was rather slow. The hyper brunette as a father was a funny sight to bear, even ten or twenty years in the future.

'Hey, it could happen.'

'Sure, when the world flips twice over.'

Kouichi let his eyes slip fully closed, that smile still on his face. Even though autumn was here, shadowing the onslaught of winter and the grey, bleak world it brought when few plants bloomed and the chill that froze hearts, inside and out, there was still glimmers of sunlight shining through the wide branches, stripped of leaves, golden, brown, yellow...fluttering to prepare a blanket on the ground.

Even with death looming round a corner of a sphere, there were fruits scattered about a face. Maybe, just maybe, he would miss that corner for years yet, enjoying the fruits, growing, learning, dreaming, hoping...

There was nothing left in life after all, if not hopes and dreams.


	15. Sakura Blossoms

**Author's Notes**

The 'spinning in reverse' comment relates to the second opening theme song from Darker than Black.

I just had to put the cat in. But Tomoko-san would be very lonely now, ne?

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 14 – Sakura Blossoms**

Tomoko wiped off the thin layer of dust from the framed picture of her mother that rested on the drawers in the living room. The apartment looked darker than ever, the curtains still drawn over the windows, half the doors closed, and barely used now, cold, still, and worst of all, empty.

It always felt like that, now that only half the apartment's occupants returned there, and even then, for only a few hours to sleep during the day, or at night. It was strange; the place had always been relatively quiet, but it was simply more pronounced now that her mind and heart lay elsewhere.

She finished with the frame and set it back on the chest of drawers, before giving the room a critical glance. Busy as she had been between her son and the sudden surge of allergy attacks with the fall that brought her to work for more hours than she normally cared to accept…but there was nothing holding her back now. Kouichi wasn't waiting at home for her; nor was anyone else.

And to think that place could have held two laughing teenagers at that time, had the world not begun spinning in reverse.

She sighed, wincing slightly as a slight ripple of pain shot up her back. It did that occasionally, more so when she overworked herself, but she simply wasn't the sort of woman who could lie down with a plagued mind. Working helped. And simply being with the people she loved.

But it was late now. Visiting hours were over for the day. It was a school night, so Kouji was back in Tokyo, and while the streets of Kyoto were lit in preparation for the many festivals that October brought with it, it still seemed somewhat bleak and empty with no-one waiting anywhere.

Maybe she ought to get a pet. Kouichi had always wanted a cat, but she had been afraid they wouldn't be able to care for one. It wasn't a problem now; she needed someone to care for now that her only pearl was out of her reach in that regard, someone there waiting, calling her back to her home, because she knew she would sleep in the hospital bed beside her son if it was allowed, never letting go of that numb hand.

And he had grown up so much in the past few months, she mused quietly to herself, withdrawing her keys and wallet and slipping her feet into her shoes, pulling her yutaka tighter around herself in the slight Autumn chill. It would be a welcome birthday present; the twins would be turning thirteen by the end of the month. Teenagers. Growing up right before her eyes. Blooming. Blossoming.

If only the mist preventing that was gone.

The streets were lit with lamps, storeholders setting up their booths on the pavement along the park as she walked along the other road, under the canopy of the buildings tilting slightly to maintain her sanctuary. In the park, she could see the beginning of the rich Sakura leaves blossoming on the otherwise bare trees, sparking a reddish yellow glow as the lights shined on them.

The sky above was dark, but stars, dull as they were, still twinkled in the sky, guiding spirits to their paths as they strayed sometimes far beyond sight. Her own took her past the park, through roads, keeping to the main ones at this time of night, and arriving at an animal shelter above a flat that she well remembered.

She could almost see a five year old Kouichi pasted to the window, staring almost entranced at the little kittens huddled around their mother, all midnight black with yellow eyes that looked almost enchanted through the glass back at him. She could tell from his posture at the time that he would love nothing more than to scoop them out and play with them, but the owner, a young woman with a love of all sorts of animals, had revealed that they were far too young at the time to be away from their mother. She offered to reserve one for them, but Tomoko had declined.

And now, almost eight years later, she saw that one of them had given birth to a litter of kittens almost identical to them.

She went closer, peering at a particular one, this one with one eye blue…partially deaf, she supposed. Most cats with blue eyes were. The fur was also streaked with grey, as opposed to the midnight black of the others. It, she wasn't sure of the gender at this point, stood out, alone beside the bowl while the others tumbled around the older cat.

At that point, her heart went out to the dear kitten, the grey sheep of the flock. Older than the litter they had seen before, these ones appeared to be roughly eight weeks of age, seeing as two in the corner were play fighting over their sleeping mother.

'Did you want her?' The woman who owned the shop had come out, following the other's gaze. 'Poor dear, the other kittens don't like her for some reason.'

Tomoko looked at the kitten further, noting how the tail curled in upon itself.

'She's a little sickly too,' the brunette mentioned offhand. 'I had trouble weaning her onto solid foods, because she would just throw it up.'

'Sounds like my son.' The other forced a smile on her face. 'How much?'

'2500 yen,' the first lady, Yagami Hikari her name was according to the tag, replied with a smile.

2500? 3200 was normally the cheapest one could find a kitten, and certainly not from a well kept place like this.

Hikari smiled at Tomoko's face. 'I taught your son Kimura-san,' she explained. 'He was doing photography with me this trimester. I'm sure he'll enjoy her company.'

She vanished indoors for a moment, before gently picking up the kitten and bringing her back with a temporary travel case. 'What will you name her?'

Tomoko thought a moment. 'Kyuukai,' she decided.

'Long cherished hope? A nice name.' The brunette teacher/animal shelter runner smiled again, bowing to the mother. 'I wish Kimura-kun a speedy recovery.'

Tomoko bowed back. 'Arigato gozaimasu, Yagami-san.'

'It was my pleasure.'

It was amazing, Tomoko thought, walking back along the route she had taken with her new charge, sleeping contently in the small, enclosed space, how many people's hearts were interconnected with the ties of destiny and the trials of life.

Passing under a Sakura tree, the young cherry blossoms caught slightly in her hair, some falling soonafter to her feet. Red, vibrant, hopeful…even at times like this, they could bring a smile to her face.

She would go again tomorrow. Kouichi would like to meet the newest addition to his family. And no doubt he will welcome the little furred distraction.

It saddened her greatly to see her son so sickly, but there was nothing they, anyone, could do but hope for recovery and strive past the white canvas and paint it with rainbow colours, sparking in the sunlight.

She closed her eyes, listening to the soft wind, carrier still in her arms. In the distance, she could hear children laughing under the watchful eye of some adult.

One day, one day soon she hoped, her son would be back amongst them, where anyone his age should be, running around, causing trouble of all sorts…

…she taught her Kouichi better than that.

She was glad she came on this walk after all. It did her some good.

And in a few hours, she would be with her heart once more.

* * *

Kousei stirred his coffee slowly, watching the cream dissolve into the brown murk, slowly turning lighter.

'You've been stirring that long enough,' Satomi interjected, once it had stabilised and he kept stirring. 'Is something wrong?'

'Nothing new to be honest,' he said slowly, bringing the cup to his lips and then lowering it before taking a sip. 'I'm…afraid, to be honest.'

'It takes a brave man to admit they're afraid,' the woman said softly taking a seat beside him on the sofa. 'And it takes a braver man still to maintain hope through times where things seem bleak.'

'I guess I fail that criteria then.' The man smiled weakly, bringing the cup to his lips again and sipping. 'I know he isn't the son I raised, and Tomoko would be feeling far worse than I ever could, but-'

'But he's still your son,' Satomi nodded. 'I know. You don't have to explain to me. I know you too well. And I also know you are a very rational man; you are not the type of person to chase after a dream long lost. You still visit him, even defying a boss that needs to be taken down a few pins in attitude-' She cracked a grin here at the memories of the bald headed supervisor. 'And you do that because you still have hope, and you believe in him.'

'And you?' he asked, looking at his wife.

'I-well,' she broke off, a little startled at the comment as she tried to get her thoughts together. 'I think Kouichi-kun is a strong-willed boy, and he won't give up when there are others waiting for him.'

'He takes after his mother in that regard.'

She put an arm around him. 'And you,' she comforted. 'After all, children's innate personalities largely develop in the first few years of their lives. And those are things that don't change, no matter what the circumstances surrounding them. You helped raise him during those critical years, and you can take pride as a father for that.'

She looked at the cup, still almost full to the brim. 'And drink that before it goes cold.'


	16. Rest for the Weary

**Author's Notes**

Another medical note. Heart transplants cannot be given to people who are malnourished, and a sign of heart disease/failure is lack of appetite and consequent malnourishment. Presents a few problems. Not to mention the stuff associated with the kidney, lungs and what not. So theoretically, doctors can't perform a heart transplant until Kouichi can eat enough of his own to maintain himself…without throwing it up and getting fed by the drips. You can only last so far on Kayu.

This chapter just wouldn't come out the way I wanted it. Gave me a lot of trouble and not enough substance. But I'm not going to spend any longer on it. I'm just not the kind of girl to keep at a single thing when there's so much more in the world.

You know, I realised I made a mistake in my plan. Had two chapters twice for some reason, which means that the story is actually 32 chapters, 30 with a prologue and an epilogue. *Sheepish* Maybe I ought to look at all details of my plan more carefully, but I can't help it. They tend to change once I'm about halfway through the story. Which would be right now.

Anywho, enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 15 – Rest for the Weary**

Someone was talking. It was hard to tell who though; his mind was simply lulling back to sleep. Darkness surrounded him; he heard and saw little, and at times, nothing at all, tired enough to simply drift away in the numbing darkness.

It took a long while for fear to strike. It took longer still to recognize it, and he suddenly realised there _was_ nothing else save that darkness which pulled him away from pain.

He could hear something again, something soft, dulled, but insistent, constantly pushing against his ears, along with a flurry of other noises that came and went. Except when he heard nothing, because there then, was nothing at all.

He drifted for awhile. At a time, he felt someone calling desperately, begging him to come. Come where? It hadn't made sense, until he felt something warm touch him. At that point, he tried to swim up to the surface…only for dark tendrils of pain and fear to pull him back.

Something screamed in his ears then, but he didn't hear it, already descended back under.

But residue remained. The scream was still echoing in his ears as the darkness lightened.

Someone was calling again.

He was still tired. The darkness was still calling him. But it wasn't that strong now. Light was calling too.

* * *

Tomoko retracted her hand from her son's head, watching the blue eyes, dull and blank, open slightly to stare sightlessly before slipping into yet another slumber. The electrocardiogram continued to beep dully, proving a sense of reassurance that yes, his heart was still beating, and yes, he was still alive. The only other indicator was the faint rising and falling of his chest, maintained in part by the canal tube running around his head and through his nostrils, releasing puffs of pure oxygen to cater for the gap in physical function.

His eyelids fluttered again, but he made no move to further his awakening. Her heart called out to him, but her throat swallowed the cold.

He looked so tired still. So pale. But he was her son, ever and ever.

The small grey ball butted up against the limp hand, purring worriedly. She was yet to formally meet her owner, but already she was pining like a horse away from their only rider. Like many others, she had taken quickly to him, enough so to quietly tolerate the brisk health check she was forced to endure before being allowed into the hospital room.

The small white paws plodded around the crisp white sheets to come closer to his face, carefully avoiding the tube and patting the face gently. The patient's nose twitched slightly, but nothing more.

Tomoko watched them carefully, Kyuukai to make sure she didn't scratch the tubing, and her son for any more signs of awakening. The kitten purred a little louder next to his ear, causing the face to twitch slightly and a yowl of excitement.

'Kyuukai,' Tomoko chastised softly, only to get the dichromatic eyes to stare at her, before turning back to the twelve year old. She left her; already, she was learning stubbornness, and took her son's hand again, only to feel an involuntary twitch a few moments later.

'Kouichi?' she asked gently, letting a simple happiness wash over her as the eyes , a little clearer now, blurrily opened again, haphazardly zooming across the room before landing on her.

'Mama…' he whispered quietly, hoarsely.

Her spare hand returned to stroking his hair, as Kyuukai butted against his cheek, inviting a slow confusion.

'This is Kyuukai,' his mother introduced, picking up the suddenly happy bundle of fur so he could get a better look. 'Happy birthday.'

The black and grey kitten purred loudly, squirming and jumping lightly onto the bed to settle into the crook of his arm. He smiled gently, before giving his mother a quizzical look. 'Birth…day?' he asked, though barely audibly.

'It's the thirstiest today.'

He was losing track of the days. Fast. It certainly didn't feel like a whole month had gone by.

'Hungry?' Tomoko asked.

He thought a long moment. Normally, it would have taken him a nanosecond, but it seemed everything was growing dull in time.

'Iie…tired…'

Tomoko patted his hair one more time, before picking up the kitten again. 'We'll leave you alone to rest now. Visiting hours are almost over anyway.'

Some small part of him wanted to protest. At a time, it had been much bigger, but it had been buried beneath much else, layer upon layer covering it up. Even now, the darkness seized him long before he could think to deny it.

* * *

His heart pounded softly in his chest cavity, contracting, relaxing, filling its chambers with blood and then expelling it to the body. On average, a healthy heart would beat at approximately 72 beats per minute, enough to regulate normal functional activities. The reduced force of contraction and consequently the slower passage of blood meant that it could not be spared for the lesser important parts, and less so with each day that passed and the heart continued to pound and restrain life.

Slowly, but surely, it was quite obvious that the heart was failing. The reduced level of consciousness, movement, the fluid build up…they had tried in an implant, an implantable cardioverter-defibrillator to be precise, to excite the heart during the times exhaustion ceased it and to regulate in the sudden spasms that caused it to haste to normal speed before it was quite ready. It hadn't worked as well as they had hoped however, though maintaining heart rate at a barely conscious level. It hadn't, eventually, been able to hold up the flag and the heart rate had started dropping again. Extremely slowly granted, but dropping.

A heart transplant _was_ the only option now; the problem was his current state of health didn't allow it, nor was there a compatible heart available for transplant. The fluid buildup meant they had needed to put him into dialysis, removing the excess water from the blood, and tolerance was building up from the inotrope's they had been intravenously feeding. That was the danger of any sort of treatment; eventually, it would fail. The ventilator was assisting regular breathing, maintaining oxygen levels in the blood, and the feeding tube was still providing nutrients, but not enough. He had to eat, not simply survive on medication. But he was barely waking up anymore, barely doing anything when he did; there was no way he could swallow.

The drop had been a little sudden, medically speaking. The slow progression towards full pulmonary failure had sped up towards the end…as if the body itself was withdrawing from it. Perhaps that was good; saving up energy so it could return and pull itself out of a spiralling descent. Or perhaps it was just hastening the path to death.

It wasn't good news either way. But perhaps it was better for the weary to rest. People were known to inadvertently draw themselves comatose and save their life or sanity.

All those that loved him could do was pray it wasn't permanent. But as the boy's mind fell deeper and deeper into nothingness, hope too followed.


	17. A Step Away

**Author's Notes**

Very brief medical note: Comas are rather wide-breathed.

Family centric chapter. The next arc basically focuses on family and friends, and little parts of their 'dealings'.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 16 – A Step Away**

The bluish-black hair was limp and dull, dry in her hands. The hand lay limp while she held it, thumb pulse sluggish even beyond the general exhaustion of his exterior. Eyes that used to shine with light now swam within darkness and closed lids. The once quiet yet vibrant child was now almost as still as a wax doll.

The monitor still beeped, slowly, steadily. The ventilator gave regular puffs of air down the nasal canal wrapped around his head and hooking behind his ears. The IV drip was taped thickly down onto one wrist, a nutrition drip to the other, and both were softly restrained to the bed. She had to wonder the point of that; despite how stir crazy he got, he never disobeyed orders that would result in him worrying the people he loved…and what was the point in tying up a comatose patient?

The question was answered almost immediately as fate decided to intervene.

The unconscious boy seized up suddenly, one arm suddenly stiff and knocking into the drawn up rails, almost dislodging the IV drip before the wrist restraint stopped him. The electrocardiogram suddenly spiked, before the pacemaker released a small shock, returning to a faintly slower monotone, and the arm fell limp again.

Behind her, she felt Kouji stiffen. She didn't blame him. She may work in a hospital, this exact one to be precise, but she didn't work directly with patients. Still, she heard stories of patients who died before they could save them. Patients whose body erupted into spasms in defibrillation, giving false hope only to realise it was merely a consequence of neuron impulses flying with no meaning, with the heart still and brain unresponsive.

Of course, neither were true in this case, but while the electrocardiogram had responded, the EEG had not. It had simply been an involuntary, reflexive action, which meant two things. Firstly, the coma was not deep, which meant he had a better chance than someone who ranked lower on the Glasgow scale. And secondly, the sudden spikes, depending on how frequently they occurred, could detriment his chances of awakening and recovering.

The sudden change had called a doctor, one only Tomoko recognised, who immediately hovered over the patient with no regard to the three adults and one child in the room. A quick check confirmed all the equipment was in working order (when it came to children especially, it was a very real possibility that the equipment more so than the person themselves), and he returned to assessing damage. A bright light shone on the closed eyelids, inviting no response. A sharp order. Nothing. A pinch on his cheek. Nothing again. Wrist. Fingers twitched slightly along with a faint but incomprehensible sound.

The doctor looked sharply at the three who had backed away, but it didn't look like they had made a noise. Turning back, he quickly skimmed through the notes, making a few additions, before turning to the adults again.

'His level was assessed to be at 7 on the Glasgow scale,' he said, as emotionlessly as he could, though some sympathy crept in. 'Muscle seizures and spasms can sometimes happen. As well as some involuntary noises. It is also known for some patients to open their eyes, move with far more ability, and even talk legibly in a coma, so it is not abnormal. However, the spasms are a little worrisome if it is affecting his heart; I'll inform the nurse to alter the intravenous dosage.'

He nodded at the family, before leaving the room again with no more words. A nurse came in ten minutes later, but all she did was exchange the bags attached to the drip and leave without a word.

The only things that moved from were the constant heart and brain activity rates speeding by on their monitors, and the small flicks of the ventilator releasing puffs of air at constant intervals, prompting the chest to rise and fall steadily.

Constant. Constant. It was like a mantra. But the small deviation had scared all three of them beyond their wits. Constant. Better. It was better than the alternative.

No doubt they were breathing too. Living too. But no-one moved. No-one spoke. The scene could well have been from a play house.

A bleak house. That was a fitting name. Even with the attempts of colour and flourish, it was bleak.

After a moment more of silence and stillness, Tomoko retook her vigil, taking the limp hand into one, stroking the hair spread over the pillow with the other. Kousei sat on the other side of the bed, leaving the chair nearer to the head empty for their other son. But Kouji did not move from his spot.

'Kouji?'

He stared at his brother another moment, then bolted, almost running straight into Satomi at the door with four Styrofoam cups on a disposable tray. The brown eyes looked after him a moment, before setting the tray down on a table and following.

The ex-couple exchanged worried glances, before averting both pairs of eyes to the empty door.

'He's having nightmares,' Kousei said quietly. 'Every night.'

'I don't blame him,' Tomoko replied, eyes dark as they drifted back to her elder son. 'No matter how we all try to hide, we're all fragile deep inside.'

'And he's seen him die once already. More than we have.' Kousei looked at the elder twin, before shaking his head. 'Listen to me, being so insensitive-'

Tomoko cut him off. 'We all need to talk,' she interrupted softly. 'And sometimes, listening to others cope helps someone cope themselves.'

Her watch beeped suddenly, causing her to look at the time and her heart to sink. 'Break's over,' she said aloud, but she made no move to return to duty.

'Go,' the other prompted. 'I'll still be here.'

She hesitated a long moment later, before patting her son one last time and leaving the room.

He continued to look at Kouichi. If it hadn't been for the pallor of the skin, the dull look and the numerous nodes and needles, he may have simply have been sleeping through the night, waiting for a new day. The sunlight didn't penetrate the canopy today; the weather outside too was bleak, dark clouds threatening to rain down a storm but still withholding. The light inside was a poor substitute.

Closing his eyes, he sidled into the closer chair and took the other hand in both his own, stroking gently with his thumb. Remembering the words of his ex-wife, and just the previous night, his current one, he began to talk, not caring whether the myth that people could hear their surroundings in a coma were true or not, so long as there was someone to sooth the dam reaching breaking point.

'You know…there's so much we haven't talked about yet. Do you remember when you and Kouji were two, and we were painting the house? No, I don't think you would, but you were artistic and creative even then.' He chuckled lightly at the memory, closing his eyes. 'You got the paint somehow and covered one of my white T-shirts in handprints. And for a two year old, it looked pretty good. Probably my fault for leaving it out. As stupid as it sounds, I've still got it hung up in the closet. You know, I'll wear it one day soon so you can see; Satomi wouldn't stop laughing when she first saw it. And then there was that time we, your mother and I that is, took you both two the zoo…'

* * *

'Kouji! Kouji, wait!'

He only stopped when Satomi managed to hold the elevator and corner him. Normally, in a case such as this, he would have taken the stairs, but-

'Why didn't you take the stairs?' she asked calmly, gently pulling him out and letting the shaft's doors close behind him.

He tried to glare, but it came out weak, and the pale and slightly sweaty skin accompanied by dilated pupils didn't help any. Though she understood anyway.

'Is it because Kouichi-kun fell down them and almost died? Because you saw how he was then and you're afraid of how similar it looks now?'

'It's not the same,' the other responded feebly, as though trying to banish or disprove some nightmare.

'Tell me what's different then.'

He looked at her, dark blue eyes having lost their sharp edge as the days passed under collecting snow. Figuratively of course; it was still autumn. A very long autumn. But they had a feeling winter would be even longer.

'The-the eyes,' he answered finally, trying to banish the waking nightmare from his eyes. 'They were open, blank, _soulless_.'

'And,' the other pressed.

'There wasn't any noise…at all.'

She nodded. 'And what does that tell you?'

'I know,' he said half-snappishly. 'I _know_ he's alive, but every time I try to sleep, all I see is his body on that operation table, and those _eyes_. And that arm, jerking as electricity went through the body, but nothing.'

She nodded thoughtfully. 'When your friend Orimoto-chan called a few days ago, was that what you were talking about?'

He nodded, before looking up to his second mother.

'Dreams hit too closely to reality.' She closed her own eyes, before enveloping her stepson in a hug. 'We all have our moments,' she whispered softly. 'When we are scared, but at times like this we need to be strong for those who are in worse positions. You see him, but remember that your friends also see him like that. Don't keep quiet. Talk to them. Let them stay in. And don't run away from him. He needs to now too.'

She released him, and he closed his eyes, before opening them again. 'I need some fresh air.'

She let him go. Because despite how he sometimes acted, he was still a child who was losing a brother he barely knew.

* * *

Kousei looked up as Satomi entered the room, picking up the untouched coffee cups and handing one to her husband.

'How is he?' he asked wearily.

'Frightened,' she said plainly, taking an unoccupied seat. 'He won't admit it, although he did say reality had impinged a little too closely to his nightmare world.'

'I wonder if that's good for him.'

She shrugged. 'As long as everyone helps everyone else, it will all work out. A circle won't hold itself up otherwise.'

He let a small smile grace his face. 'Where did I meet all these magnificent people?'

'Well…' she said, staring at the pale and unconscious form.

'I talked to him,' Kousei said suddenly, noticing her gaze.

'Did it help?'

'It felt pretty pathetic, but yes. I was just blabbing on about random memories.'

She bowed her own head, before raising it again. 'Did you tell him how we met?'

'Iie. Will you?'

She shook her head. 'As much as I'd love to be his mother, I know I'll never be. He already has a mother, a wonderful one, taking up that space in his heart.'

'Kouji let you in,' he said, looking at his wife.

'Hai, but Kouji didn't know his birthmother. Kouichi-kun was raised with her.'

'He doesn't think any less of you for that,' Kouji interjected, having arrived to hear the last part of the conversation and consequently startling both parents at the interruption. 'He said you had to be a brilliant woman to convince me to buy flowers all by myself.'

The brunette woman looked a little stunned at the titbit of information.


	18. Seamless

**Author's Notes**

A little note on my OCs. Akihiro is rather hot-tempered, hence why he exhausts himself with sports. Minoru is more scientific, hence why science is his strength. But even introverted people like him (who keep the main emotions locked inside even though they appear to have an easygoing front) will explode at some point. But both sets are likely to take it out on the wrong people. I just think the second is more dangerous and damaging, because at least with the first, there's an obvious trigger. Kouichi may be reserved as well, but not in the same manner as Minoru.

And it's just Akihiro and his mum. Yoshiko's got both parents and three brothers. Minoru's an only child, but he's got both parents too. And we all know Kouichi's situation.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 17 – Seamless**

'I thought I'd find you here,' Minoru said from the doorway, staring at Akihiro's.

The slightly older boy tensed, before relaxing and turning as he recognised the voice. 'Don't do that,' he said flatly, turning back to his other friend.

'Yuuta-sensei wants to see you,' the blonde persisted, taking a few steps into the room. 'She's not too happy about you slipping out of class before she could talk to you about your history test.'

The brunette groaned slightly; he never was good at history, and now that his mind wasn't focused at any level on it, it was worse. At least he used to scrape through with a C-, the occasional C+ and the extremely rare B-, but now he was lucky to get a D. Which also resulted in him spending more afternoons than he liked in detention with the teacher, who till this day argued that he was not utilising his full potential in the subject.

'You'd better go,' Minoru said, standing beside him. 'You know she'll double your detention otherwise. If you're lucky.'

'Or triple it if I'm not.' He took one more look at his motionless friend, but made no move to stand.

'He's not going anywhere.'

'How do you know that?' Akihiro snapped. 'You're not the one who's watched someone die before.'

'I haven't,' the other admitted, holding the other's gaze solidly. 'But he has. And so have his friends and brother from Tokyo. So have you. But are you here because you're waiting for him to die, or waiting for him to wake up and get better?'

'Don't tell me you're not thinking that _every _time you see him!'

'I can,' Minoru said, closing his eyes. 'Because I haven't seen him like this.' Even now, he avoided looking at the other, asleep on freshly cleaned crisp sheets. 'Not that it matters though. I'm scared anyway.'

Akihiro turned completely, slipping out of his seat to match the other face for face. Unexplainably, he was angry. He knew he shouldn't be taking his frustrations out on his friends, but he never had the best control over his temper, especially when something out of the ordinary spurned its hand. Hence why he always fought with Yoshiko. 'Coward.'

'Maybe,' the other said unflinchingly, almost coldly as his cool, scientific mind fought against hot passion. 'But so are you.'

The other gave him one long look, before slipping through the doorway, passed the person who had been standing there, listening to the exchange. He said nothing though, did nothing as the brunette vanished from sight and the blonde finally looked at the member of the quartet that had been out of action for quite a while.

He didn't blame Akihiro for blowing up at him. More so, he blamed himself for _not_ blowing up. As odd as it sounded, he always had a hard time expressing his emotions, especially when they conflicted. He was reserved by nature; perhaps not as reserved as Kouichi was, but certainly in a different way. He bantered with Akihiro on numerous occasions, the two always starting prank wars and the likes, getting into trouble and sometimes dragging their friends into the fray, but they were as different as two people could come (or so he had thought until he met Kouichi's friends from the digital world, seeing as Kouji and Takuya had essentially the same dipolar relationship). But while Akihiro was naturally boisterous, mischievous, and highly competitive and had no qualms of showing that, he was more analytical, though the same strive not to be bested existed. It was that trait alone that united them; the other two, while competitive, were more so in academic areas than anything else, and as good as he was in science, he was no match for the pair in any other subject (except perhaps math, where they all had relatively equal footing when no-one was really trying). It was a stupid thing that kept him retaliating at practical jokes (that had vanished over the last few months) and triggering them himself sometimes; as unnatural as they had felt originally when Akihiro had tried to rope the three in, there was something that didn't involved strategy, fact, predictability...something that threw him out of his comfort zone and didn't result in him being ranked on performance. It was only if something worked or not. And whether it warranted a retaliation.

Yoshiko got it. She just didn't approve, signing it off as a 'guy' thing, though Kouichi was exempted from the rule. Of course, that lead to some light hearted teasing about the raven-haired boy being 'girly', until the girl threatened to drive into their heads exactly what she had meant. She had looked so threatening that Minoru decided he would not do that again. Akihiro of course continued, until a red-faced Kouichi caused his can of juice to blow up in his face.

He had just laughed it off. Minoru simply couldn't understand why Yoshiko hadn't made good on her threat. She had just rolled her eyes at him with the words "empty threat". And when it came to Yoshiko, or Kouichi for that matter, those were really rare.

He wasn't comfortable with things that were unpredictable. He couldn't understand Kouichi's desire to actually _work_ in a field like that. He simply liked plain, hard facts.

Of course, when it came to reality, there were times when there was no such thing.

So when it came to emotions that couldn't be warranted to some sort of fact, they were locked away. Of course, that meant that they built up.

But when it came to situations when one didn't know what to think or feel, things got more complicated.

Starting with the simple fact, his friend was sick. Comatose. And he was scared he would never wake up.

It was a very real possibility, and with the slow rate at which his vitals were dropping, a likely one. There was the slim chance that his body was attempting to repair itself, retreating into a sort of hibernation, but it was outweighed in probability. Point blank: his friend was extremely likely to die.

So he couldn't grudge Akihiro for wanting to see the other as much as possible. To him, seeing his friend meant holding onto a hope that didn't exist. No, he was lying there. It did exist, and he was afraid that hope was going to shatter.

The world did not favour small chances.

It hurt. It really did. The chances were so low of him pulling through that he might as well have given up on him. Thinking like that, organised, sorting out those thoughts, staring at the still form, he realised that was _exactly_ what he had done.

At least Akihiro was trying. At least Yoshiko was trying. At least his family and other friends were trying.

He, he had just stayed away. It was easier to cut ties when they were weak before they stayed for long and solidified. But he, in the end, just couldn't do it.

Part of him was saying it was easier to simply accept the fact. It would hurt less in the long run. People were born. People died.

But then again, he had never had to live through someone dying. He had seen the pain though; he had seen them holding out till the end. It was easier not to.

But his conscience was getting in the way. So long as there was a chance, any sort of chance...

Rational it was not. But humans were always built with that irrationality. It was one thing he hated; unpredictability. Irrationality. He didn't mind it so much innate in other people; it defined them as who they were. It just made things so much more difficult than he would like. He didn't like being blind to the path before him. Especially when it was something that mattered.

'Damn it!' he shouted suddenly, startling no-one as one failed to hear him and the other had expected it. 'Stop keeping us in the middle! At least wake up or die, so we'd_ know_...'

He knew full well how horrible he sounded at that point, yelling at someone who held no fault to what was happening, and was probably the biggest victim of them all. Who knew how he suffered in the dark recedes of his mind as they watched him in the outside world. But the dam was bursting; at times like this he wished he could better understand and project his emotions, so no-one got caught in the crossfire.

'You should know he doesn't work well under pressure,' Kouji said quietly from the doorway, startling the other pre-teen. 'He heard you.'

Minoru's head snapped back to the patient, seeing the fingers of one hand spasm slightly. 'Wha-'

'It's a reflexive action,' the other explained, coming into the room. 'It doesn't mean anything at all.'

In terms of waking up, he meant. And the other knew that.

'How much did you hear?'

'All of it. Including your...discussion, with Oota-kun.'

His eyebrows furrowed slightly the suffix. 'We don't get along much, because he's too much like Takuya and I'm too much like you. If we had shared those sort of adventures together, then maybe we would. But you and I are uncomfortable with each other simply because we're too similar.'

The blonde turned away. 'What are you trying to say?'

'I don't know actually. I'm still trying to find a way to hold up.' The blue eyes raked every inch of his brother's form, before closing them. 'You didn't see him die.'

'Funny, that's what Akihiro said too. But what would be different if it was?'

'You'd be able to see the difference then.'

With that, he left again, presumably giving the other some time alone.

At that moment, Akihiro returned.

'When did he get here?'

'Before you left,' the other said, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. 'Gomen.'

'What?' Akihiro, who had himself being about to apologize, started. Minoru never apologized. He never _needed_ to apologize, seeing as it was normally the brunette's volatile temper in the way.

'Gomen,' he repeated. 'I was the one who didn't understand. Can you see a difference? Between your father and him?'

There was a pause, as two sensitive spots were touched. 'Yeah...yeah, I can.' His mouth curled into a slightly bitter snarl. 'My father gave up, he killed himself; Kouichi never will do either.'

The blonde nodded and said no more.


	19. To Be There

**Author's Notes**

History lesson from Wikipedia. The only history I've taken is Australian Colonial and some ancient Spanish. Our school focused more on global perspectives in the humanities syllabus.

The next three chapters cover Kouichi's remaining friends, ie. Yoshiko, Izumi, Junpei and Tomoki. Which means two people are actually sharing a chapter, like Minoru and Akihiro in the previous one. Then...well, you guys will have to wait and see.

Asarikou-chan inspired the end of this chapter, namely the scene with Shinya. Arigatou Asarikou-chan. :)

On another note, this fic has taken the lead in no. of hits. So congrats.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 18 – To Be There**

'Kanbara-kun. Do pay attention.'

The tone was the same as it always was, rather irate at having to remind _again_, but there was a hint of worry beneath it. Normally, the History teacher had to interrupt one of his occupational habits, scribbling over his notes with little stick figures at the best, but lately all he seemed to be doing in class, when he wasn't paying attention at random moments, was staring at nothing.

He payed attention for a bit, trying to follow the narrative of the Nara period, and in particular, the struggle between the imperial family, the Buddhist Clergy and the Fujiwara clan.

'Recall that the Fujiwara clan was a powerful family of regents, descending from the Nakatomi clan. Their founder was Nakatomi no Kamatari who was rewarded by the Emperor Tenji with the honorific "Fujiwara" which later evolved as a surname for Kamatari and his descendents...'

He tried paying attention; really, he did. But he had never been the academic sort, always having his mind jumping all over the place, little stick figures mapping out soccer or game strategies, games he played with himself (and sometimes with others he roped in), random mind drabble when it fancied him...and occasionally taking down snatches of notes he heard, then cramming the textbook the day before the exam, failing, doing the makeup exams, and passing those since they were easier than the original. One of the anime strategies that actually worked, though Kouichi had commented once that it was the reverse at his school.

Takuya hadn't see the point why. If you've failed once, how will you pass a makeup exam? Kouji had rolled his eyes at that comment and pointed out it was to stop lazy people like him from taking the easy way out.

But now, instead of focusing on the next level of Breath of Fire or the upcoming soccer match (which he had to repeatedly remind himself to schedule practices for seeing as he _was_ the captain, even though the vice was more than willing to lend a couple of hands), he was focusing on his friends.

It was a little ironic, in a sense. He thought Kouichi to be the most selfless person he had ever met. But now it was Kouichi who was bringing out the root of selflessness in him...in a semi-selfish way. He wasn't thinking about himself because he didn't want to, not because he was thinking of others before himself. It was the contrary in fact, watching and helping others stay together seemed to be the best way he could himself handle the fact that one of his best friends was miles away in a dim hospital room, hanging on to life as best as he could, but with the possibility of death looming around the corner.

Hope fluctuated; every time they left, there was the possibility that they would never return, that there would be nothing left there for them to return too. 'He'll be waiting,' he'd repeat over and over again. 'Just wait, give him time. He'll be bouncing around in that quiet way of his in no time?'

'Bouncing? Quiet?' That would start a forced tangent, and lighten the mood just the slightest bit. They wanted to believe that. They _needed_ to believe that. And it was true, so far, which brought them hope, but at the end of the loop, the question rose again. Would he be there next time?

'Course he will.'

But who could say ultimately? He didn't want to think about what it would mean if he wasn't, despite that possibility.

Okay, he was in denial. He'd admit it. But the others seemed to need that one person to tell them there was still hope. That there was still a chance. To remind them how stubborn the warrior of darkness was (in a more roundabout way than himself or Kouji though), reminding them of his confrontation of Cherubimon when he almost got fried for a brother he had almost every right to be jealous of, a brother who had brought him pain, a brother who he had unknowingly tried to kill after being thrown into the sea of darkness and held under...and for others he barely knew. Then reminding them of Lucemon, how he had selflessly (though Kouichi claims it was selfish on his part) thrown himself between the orbs of light and darkness and payed the ultimate price...and still survived, coming out smiling, crying, and with a newly reunited family on the mend and the best friends in the world.

It was strange, he recognised, knowing there was another set of friends closer in both distance and time. He couldn't help but feel a little jealous that they probably knew some aspects of the raven haired pre-teen better then them, who had only the Digital World and the months following after...and he could see where Kouji was coming from. How would anyone feel finding people not even related knowing someone better than their own brother?

They had been working on that though. Then this.

He noted that Kouji, out of all of them, was dealing with this the hardest. Of course he would, he was his brother. His twin, and he didn't know him nearly as long to say goodbye, ignoring the fact that the simple age was far too young. There was too much of the world to experience in twelve years, breaking, fragmenting towards the end. There was just too much...

The bell startled him out of his thoughts, and he made to sweep his loose papers back into the folder they had come from, when Akutagawa Kayo halted him.

'Is there something bothering you Kanbara-kun?' the teacher asked, concerned, once the rest of the class had filed out. 'It's not like you to remain quiet and still, and I've found lately you've been doing it a lot.'

Takuya said nothing.

'Your other teachers have noticed as well,' she continued. 'Your coach especially seems to think your participation in soccer is becoming rather forced of late. If you dislike it, you can leave at any time. No-one is forcing you to stay.'

'It's not that Sensei,' he said quietly. 'I like it, I love it. I've just had a lot on my mind lately.'

'Anything you'd like to share.'

He said nothing.

The woman sighed. She was well familiar with this particular student and his little quirks of character. You tended to be when they frequented detention as much as Takuya did.

'Has this got to do with Minamoto-kun's brother?' she asked, recalling the gossip that flew amongst the staff.

'Iie.' And he wasn't lying. It was more about lack of Kouichi than Kouichi, despite how ridiculous it sounded in his head...before he booted the thought out.

The teacher gave her student a sceptical look, before a look of understanding crossed her face. 'Drop by my office after school today,' she said, readapting her more professional mannerism. 'I did not see you pen touch the paper once this past week.'

'Hai Sensei.'

* * *

After the hour of copied notes was home. The soccer practices were currently running at lunch times and on weekends, seeing as the weather was getting too cold with the arrival of winter to play outdoors in the late afternoons or early mornings. Heck, by the time he got home, it would be dark...and apparently wet, as a torrent of rain suddenly exploded from the sky.

Great. He hadn't brought his umbrella.

One suddenly bloomed open above him, and he found his little brother standing on his tiptoes and covering them both in the orange canopy.

'I knew you didn't take your umbrella,' he said quietly, holding out the red.

Takuya looked at it, before taking it with a murmured thanks, letting the eight year old return to flat footing.

'Onii-chan?' he asked suddenly, after they walked a ways in silence. 'Are you okay?'

'Of course I am.' He grinned at his brother.

'Don't lie,' Shinya said sternly. 'You're just making yourself look fine and strong so everybody else leans on you. But you'll fall over.'

'No I won't,' Takuya protested, but it sounded a little flat. It reminded him of what someone had said to him once. Who protected the protector? They were normally the ones to take the fall.

Shinya looked up at him through the curtain of rain. 'Yes you will,' he said confidently. 'Because you're already toppling on to me.'

'Aren't you leaning on me?' Takuya asked, confused. Shinya _was_ always following him around, but not lately, he realised. He was getting more independent. How had he missed that?

'I was,' he admitted. 'But you've got too many people leaning on you already. You're starting to lean on kaa-san more.'

'So she'll fall over.'

'No silly. She'll lean on 'tou-san. And he'll lean on the wall.'

'...Shinya, the wall doesn't count.'

'Why not?' The younger Kanbara asked stubbornly. 'It makes perfect sense to me.'

'Oh yeah,' Takuya challenged then, half playfully. 'Why can't I lean on the wall then?'

'Because you're too close to the ram trying to break down the wall,' Shinya said simply. 'You're emotionally tied; you can't make unbiased judgements and can't do things without it somehow affecting you. But don't change, I want my older brother, always the way he is.'

'Shinya...'

He looked at the doleful brown eyes through the rain. 'I'm not going anywhere.' It's not me, it's him...

'You are,' the other said quietly, umbrella slipping slightly and soaking his shoulder. 'You're changing. But I don't want you to change.'

'I'm not changing,' he protested again, but like before, it sounded rather flat.

'You are. You don't believe what you're saying any more.'

The orange umbrella fell completely, but the torrent was halted by the red one.

'You're letting your fear and nightmares get in the way,' he continued.

'Shinya...' And Takuya embraced his brother, the umbrella wedged between them to save the rain from washing away their flame. 'You're right. But I promise, I'm not going anywhere.'

Shinya pulled away, sniffling a bit. 'Maybe you should be a circle instead of a chain,' he suggested. 'Or a net. That works better.'

'I guess we've all been caught up with the individual struggles lately we've forgotten about that.'

'Then unforget.'

He had to laugh. Really, he did. Was 'unforget' even a word? And he was the older brother here, getting ordered around by someone four year his junior.

'And Onii-chan?'

'Yeah?'

'You always talk a lot. Why not this time? It can't be healthy bottling that all up.'

'You've got to be kidding,' the older brunette groaned. That was twice today.

Well...it couldn't hurt.

So when they got home, relatively wet, and dried themselves, he went for the phone.

He hesitated a moment, before sucking up his legendary courage and dialling a familiar number.

'Hey, Kouji. I know this will sound a little weird, but mind if I lean back on you?'

An annoyed sort of confusion greeted him. Which meant he had to translate out of Kanbaranese and into regular Japanese.

When he hung up the phone though, he was feeling much better. He couldn't say about Kouji, but he thought he was feeling better too. Not that he would admit it to him.

He also realised Shinya was spot on. Had he somehow known about Minoru?

Nah, he couldn't have. He'd be surprised if the other even remembered the name.


	20. Symbol of Unity

**Author's Notes**

This is a bit of a looser one, more about the girls getting to know each other better and teaming up for a project. Opposite to the guys. Next is some brotherly love between Tomoki and Yutaka, the only chapter I think Yutaka actually physically appears.

I considered changing the order. Already had the Minamoto/Kimura family, Minoru/Akihiro, Takuya, and now Izumi/Yoshiko which is sort of antiparallel to Minoru/Akihiro. Which leaves Tomoki and Junpei, but then I decided to leave it. Those two are the ones who don't know him as well as the others, as far as the show goes. Except perhaps that little snow-ball fight moment between Tomoki and Kouichi.

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 19 – Symbol of Unity**

She looked at the supposed-to-be doll in her hand, then sighed. She didn't even know why she was doing this; her imagination was normally a little too wild to get things down into physical form, and even when she could get something that actually made sense to other people, she found the basic forms of art to be rather restrictive.

Now, her mind was occupied by other things. Everybody was trying to act normal, but they seemed to have their ups and downs. Kouji occasionally snapped at those who he didn't know well and were at the wrong place at the wrong time…when Takuya didn't get in the way. The ex-flame warrior himself had turned rather quieter and more placate, until his little brother convinced him to simply talk. Then he called Kouji. Then each of the others in turn. Junpei she wasn't too sure about; he was busy studying. Or throwing himself into his studies. And Tomoki…you could see him sometimes struggling to hold back the tears.

She was trying to stay optimistic. Really, she was. In fact, she was positively sure Kouichi would wake up again and come out of this whole mess fine; he had before, hadn't he? Nothing was stopping him from doing it again.

Except the fact that he was still sleeping almost lifelessly on that damn white-clothed hospital bed. Why did it have to be white? She had even brought her lavender doonas one time to replace them; Kouichi hated white as much as she did and pretty much for the same reasons though he had an additive, and he, unlike some other boys, didn't really mind the colour purple. He couldn't really, with the spirits of darkness being, for some weird reason, purple. Seriously, even her ones were pink, and Fairymon had quite a bit of lavender on her. So did she. So pink for the purple girl, and purple for the guy who was either in greyscale or a Christmas tree.

She giggled out loud, earning some off looks from others using the arts and craft room. She would have to tell Kouichi about that later. Doctor Kawano had been the next person in, and had gotten the coverlet washed, pressed and neatly folded the next time she came around, after which he pointed out gruffly, but not unkindly, that regulations were regulations, and flowers, balloons and the occasional posters were about as far as they were allowed to go. And stuffed animals, books and the sort, though the latter was a little useless if no-one was going to read them.

That in fact, she thought, was what gave her the idea. But she couldn't even make Poyomon, let alone the KaiserLeomon she had been going for.

That, for some reason, made her think of Kouichi's "Kyoto" friends, as they had gotten used to calling them. She didn't really get why it was so hard to believe he was close to people before the Digital World. Boys will be boys, she figured eventually, after racking her brain and coming up with nothing, or maybe it was simply Kouji having an older-brother complex, even if he _was_ younger by seven and a half minutes.

Though that didn't explain Takuya. But then, they were the two closest to him for some reason. Probably a 'not wanting to share thing'. But no-one had any problems with the only female, Kichida Yoshiko.

She wondered, if either of them showed any romantic interest in their shy raven haired friend, if they'd be down each other's throats like a couple of cats in season.

Except it was winter, freezing, and that was simply not true.

She looked again at the mess in her hands, somewhat miserably, remembering the Poyomon, remembering the Digital World. She knew herself better after all that, and as a result, she understood others. It had taken awhile to break through the older prejudices that had built up, but she had more friends now and better relations. And she owed it all to that other world, which had done so much for them, reached out to six ordinary children for help and entrusting it with such power, in turn giving them a once in a lifetime chance to grow and change for the better.

Not that it improved her artistic ability any. But then, she was never an artist.

She sighed once more, before slipping the materials into her bag and pulling out a sheet of paper. It was a rough sketch, but a skilled one, better than even Kouichi's from his last stay in the hospital. This one showed him sleeping, just as real time did, but there was something far more peaceful, far more content. As if he was just resting like one always did in sleep, preparing to start the new day with a vibrancy and a clean slate.

It was definitely Kichida-chan's. It couldn't be anyone else. The only two people who knew Kouichi and could draw anything better than horrific stick figures were Yoshiko and Kouichi himself, and not only did this have an extra flair that was lacking in the raven haired boy's work, but there was no way he'd draw something like _this_.

Doctor Kawano had given it to her along with her doona; he had probably assumed it was hers. But it wasn't, and she hadn't gotten a chance to return it before she caught the last train back.

It was Saturday now though, and although the weather was rather dreary and no-body else was available due to some event or other happening in the boy's school that required a busy weekend on top of Takuya's soccer finals (though he had finally given in to his vice's offer and wasn't quite so run over). And Tomoki's parents wouldn't allow him to travel that far with only one other friend. They hadn't quite lost their overprotectiveness. She had a feeling Yutaka would have taken him, if he wasn't himself busy with something at collage.

That didn't mean however she couldn't go herself. Which is how after a quick phone call, she found herself in Kyoto, leafing through the phone book. She really should have checked the address before, but luckily, there was only one Kichida listed under the Minato-ku district.

So ten minutes later, she was knocking on the door of a nice looking house. She was a little startled to find a boy almost eighteen answer the door, but he took one look at her, raised an cool eyebrow, and asked if he had seen her before.

She remembered then. This was one of Yoshiko's brothers they had met in the hospital.

'Hai,' she replied politely, bowing in greeting. 'We met at the hospital. I'm a friend of Kouichi. Orimoto Izumi.'

'Kouichi-kun huh…' The cool look disappeared, and he looked almost…sad. 'You want to see my sister.'

'Hai, arigato.'

He disappeared for a moment, before returning. 'Second door from the end.'

She toed off her sneakers and followed the instructions, finding a partially open door that was still in the process of opening.

'Hi,' the brunette said, blinking a little tiredly at her. 'Gomen, my room's a little messy.'

Apparently, she had never seen Takuya's room.

'This is nothing compared to Takyua's,' the blonde assured, taking the other's invitation to sit on the bed. Rose pink, she noticed with some odd sense of amusement. Same colour as her spirit. Had to wonder why? 'I came to give you this.'

Yoshiko blinked at the paper, carefully in a plastic pocket to avoid soil. 'So that's where it went,' she said quietly, before staring at the other female. 'You came all this way to give me this? You could have kept it, or left it in the hospital, or waited until you and your friends came again.'

'True,' Izumi nodded. 'But this is yours, not mine, and I've kept it for too long already. Besides, this gives us girls a chance to get to know each other without the boys around. Unless this is a bad time?'

'Not at all,' the other shook her head. 'Boys are boys.'

'Exactly.'

There was a moment of silence between them, before Yoshiko broke it, a little randomly. 'Favourite colour?'

'Huh?'

She shrugged. 'Twenty questions is a good way to get to know someone.'

'True. Purple. You?'

'Pink.'

'Favourite animal?'

'Dragons…if they count.'

'Sure. Vritra-never mind. Mine are birds.'

'Vritramon?'

'…did Kouichi tell you?' She wasn't sure how she should feel about that.

The brunette laughed a little awkwardly. 'Actually, we stole his journal to blackmail him into telling us what he was hiding after his sprawl down the stairs, and found all the details. He didn't even confirm it.'

'Oh?' Kouichi _would_ keep a journal. 'Was there a lot about Duskmon?'

'Yes, and I got the feeling it was completely biased.'

'It would be.' She groaned aloud. 'That guy is the most selfless person I know, but he won't let go of his guilt. It wasn't his fault some crazed evil guy twisted someone into brainwashing him. But nope. Though it's never easy to let go of something like that. It hurt him. A lot.'

'I thought so,' the other said quietly. 'I can't ever live up to what you guys shared, but I know him in my own way and shared my own adventures with him. He never looks out for himself, unless it's to save other people worrying about him. It leads others to take advantage of him at times though…well, unless someone else stops them.'

'Like Oota-kun or Samurakami-kun?'

'Or Minamoto-kun or Kanbara-kun?'

They shared a laugh. 'Better keep those four out of the same room.'

'Thanks.'

'I should be saying that.'

The brown eyes looked at the green. 'It's kind of weird, that we're getting along as if we were made from the same mould, and we're so different, but when you mix those guys up, all you wind up with is trouble.'

'Is is,' Izumi agreed. 'Maybe we've got enough guys to share and thensome.'

'Don't put it that way. You'll never get a decent boyfriend.'

'Hey, you're in the same boat.'

They laughed again, without the barest hint of red. Perhaps they were fishing for humour, perhaps not. But it didn't really matter. It didn't matter they didn't know each other all that well. They had common ground, mutual friends, united purpose…they could learn. And that was it.

They talked a little longer, about little random things, before Izumi remembered the scraps of cloths, buttons and other assortments of things in her bag.

'Hey, Kichida-chan,' she said slowly. 'Since you know about the digital world, do you know how KaiserLeomon looks like?'

She frowned lightly as she tried to remember. 'Vaguely, though I found Fairymon the best. Pride of all girls around. Why?'

She paused suddenly. 'Oh, Fairymon was your spirit, right?'

'Right,' the other replied, a little red from the compliment. 'Thank you.'

The brunette waved the flattery off. 'No worries,' she grinned. 'I meant what I said. You know, I met the guys because they tried to protect me when I was new. Even Kouichi. That scared the crap out of them. Almost beat them up, but Kouichi just looked too cute and cherubin-like, so I left him and kicked the others-'

'-cause they thought you couldn't take care of yourself?' Izumi asked, with a little giggle. 'Those boys didn't believe me when I said I had a spirit. Nor did they think I could handle those Goblinmon on my own.' She flicked her long hair. 'We showed them a thing or two.'

'Right. So why were you asking about KaiserLeomon? The lion right?'

'Yeah…to be honest, I was trying to make a doll for Kouichi.' She explained the tale about her doona, and the Doctor's comment. 'I'm pretty useless at this though.'

'You're the more mathematical, sciency orientated girl,' the other girl commented, pulling out a sketchpad from a pile of books and clothes and getting to work with a pencil. 'Avoids the cliché at least. I love art, including martial arts.'

'Not sport in general?'

'Iie.' She held up the pad. 'Sort of like that?'

Izumi couldn't help but laugh. 'Close,' she said hurriedly, so as not to offend the other. 'I'm guessing Kouichi spend more words describing us than himself.' She noticed Chakkmon aiming a torrent of snowballs from the other page.

'Ooh yeah.' She looked at the vaguely blank lion. 'Care to fill in the details? We'll get it perfect together, ne?'

'You don't mind?'

'Not at all. To be honest, I'm glad I can do something. Therapeutic items are supposed to be a big help in operations, life threatening situations…and comas.'

'Same here.'

There was another pause, only interrupted by more sketching following little tidbits of information.

'He's not going to be happy once he finds out how much we were worried about him.'

'No, he won't be at all.'

'But that's just Kouichi. He deserves a break after everything.'

'He sure does. He won't stay away for long, will he?'

'No way.'

And saying out loud, both could believe it. Maybe Shinya was more right than he had realised.

Not that she was going to contribute to the younger Kanbara's ego. Didn't want two Takuya's. Her head still hurt after that incident with Junpei's philosophy about balance, the fire and that crazy imagined bridge.

One of Yoshiko's brothers, a younger one this time, poked his head in. 'Dinner,' he declared cheerfully. 'You staying?'

'We'll be down in a minute,' Yoshiko said, half glaring at the invasion of her privacy. 'And knock next time.'

'Nuh uh,' the other said cheekily. 'kaa-san told me to drag you down.' He looked at the blonde. 'She also says she invites you to stay, and won't take no for an answer.'

Now that sounded _very_ familiar.


	21. Winter Chills

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 20 – Winter Chills**

It was a little strange, he noted to himself, that the one thing he wanted but never got on first request was going out too from home by himself. Before the digital world, he never even wanted too, preferring the environment where things went his way than the more ambiguous one where there was always someone ready to shatter that around the corner. The swings in the park was about as far as his domain used to go…until some tall and buffed-up kid would come up and shove some smaller kid around in the dirt. In that case, he'd run, either tear and dirt stained or simply clothed in fear, back home into his mother's warm arms and Yutaka's somewhat patronising glare.

He knew now he had wanted him to gain some footing in the world, to stand on his own two feet instead of using crutches and falling away when someone pushed a little. Hence the large rift in their relationship, but the Digital World had changed that so fast that his brother had uncharacteristically gaped to the burger he had presented. So long in fact that the burger was cold by the time he finished. It was delicious anyway.

Yutaka was a little suspicious, but he was soon placated upon meeting the friends he had quite suddenly made when they came over for a sleepover. One of the times Kouichi was spending the weekend at his father's.

There wasn't anything suspicious about them. They were close, as if they'd spent their entire lives together in a few short weeks (little did he know), but they got along as equals, as real friends should. And even if he didn't know them, he could see each of them had changed for the better by simply knowing each other.

From what he gathered, with the help of Tomoki and small flitters of the conversation that floated towards him in the study, the twins had parents that were divorced, and both had been rather antisocial in their own world, one more angry and bitter, other more like a quiet dam ready to burst. Now both were more open, more placate, though still strong and stern and soft and sweet. The only female was a little mothering, but she seemed to have taken a step to rediscovering herself in a new environment. The oldest, a design guru all things considered, had trouble making friends, before he met the rest. And the hyper brunette seemed to, according to the unbelievable stories he overheard, had learnt to be more responsible, mature and a good leader. And Tomoki seemed to have gained wisdom as well, balancing between the inner child and the outer one pending towards adolescence and eventually adult hood; a boy who could stand on his own without others holding him up.

So the two brothers got along far better now. Each had their own friends, but they didn't have the large rock standing between each other. So when he announced he was taking him to his dorm for the weekend, no-one was too surprised.

Except he was hoping to go to Kyoto with the others. Yutaka was insistent though, and he had already okayed it with their parents, so he wasn't left with much of a choice.

He wasn't happy, and it showed. A little immature pout settled on his face during the long drive. Yutaka was well aware of that, but he let the silence sit, keeping his hands on the steering wheel and eyes on the road. His living quarters was about two hours from his home on the empty roads, three when the traffic got rather congested, and the college campus was another fifteen minutes in the continuous direction. It was a rural quarters, the campus near bordering the city of Chiba, and there was a natural, peaceful air that the city lacked.

Which was the purpose of coming all the way out here in the middle of his campus winter break, which was notably longer than that of secondary or elementary students. His little brother hadn't seen the scenery. And it wasn't healthy to stay cooped up between a rock and a hard place.

'I know you wanted to go see your friend,' he began, once he had parked the car.

'It's the first chance for weeks,' the other scowled, tone a little like a whine. 'Why bring me here?'

'We haven't spent much time together,' Yutaka pointed out. 'And I wanted to talk to you about a few things, and now is a very good time.'

'But Kouichi-'

'-is part of the reason I want to talk to you.' The older Himi unbuckled his seatbelt, before twisting in his seat to look at the boy beside him full on the face. 'I've been worried about you lately.'

Tomoki fiddled with the fringe of his own seatbelt. 'There's nothing to be worried about,' he muttered, slightly annoyed. 'I-'

'You know, when you say that, it just makes people worry more.' The older brother said that statement in an almost scolding tone, before softening it for the next statement. 'You may have grown up a lot lately, but you are still a child. And you can never truly make a child understand death until they see it themselves. And I'm not talking about that incident in the hospital. I mean truly seeing it, being that hair-line fracture away from death itself. It's a wisdom that only comes when age has passed. When you're so old that you've lived life and are now looking forward to only one thing.'

'You normally let me work things out on my own,' the younger Himi frowned, a little confused…well, a lot confused really. 'Why tell me this?'

'Why do you think?' the other said quietly.

He looked at his lap.

'Tommy,' Yutaka pressed slightly, using the nickname few used. 'Only very disturbed children look towards death. Your friend, I'm sure, is not one of them.'

'I know,' the other said. 'He sacrificed himself for us, but even then, he was looking at our world, looking at us, hoping he'd see us again, despite those chances.'

'And he did,' Yutaka nodded, before he noted the abnormality. 'Sacrificed himself? Our world?'

'Umm…'

'Is there something you haven't said about your friendship?'

'Well…you see…' Tomoki was rapidly becoming flustered. They had promised not to tell anyone, but apparently there were a few others that knew. Shinya had heard Takuya talking in his sleep of all things, and Kouichi's friends did spend enough time over to find the journal and sketches. And Izumi and Yoshiko had talked at length as well. Then there were all the other children on the Trailmon. Hmm…perhaps the anyone had just meant the adults. Or on a need to know basis.

'We met in another dimension,' he said really fast. 'We turned into digimon, fought evil guys and saved the world in a nutshell.'

'What?' That sounded utterly insane, but Tomoki was such a horrible liar that he could see through him in a heartbeat. 'Never mind, we've got the whole weekend for a longer explanation.'

A sigh of relief. Dodged that bullet at least.

'Back to our previous discussion. People gain and lose hope depending on their situations and their surroundings. No-one needs someone going and expecting death for them as if there is no hope for recovery and life. He cannot do either for himself right now…perhaps he can, but we don't know. He's relying on his family and friends now. He's relying partly on you.'

'That's why I want to be there.' More fiddling.

'And if you were there, what would you do? You've already talked. To him, to each other. You've already tried to brighten up the room. You've tried holding on to hope, but are you still hoping now, or is that dying with time? Honestly?'

He was silent a long moment.

'I-' he began, before failing to continue. 'I don't really know,' he finished eventually, tears pricking the edge of his vision. 'I wish I could say honestly it, but-'

'But you can't.' Yutaka closed his eyes. 'You know, it takes a very strong and brave person to admit that.'

He looked rather young at that moment, peeking at his older brother through his bangs. 'Is it wrong?'

'Iie.' Yutaka opened his eyes again. 'No, it isn't. It's perfectly normal. But what will you attain from thinking about that day in and out? You need to be there for him, but you also need to live your life away from all that as well. Go on with things as normal, push the world forward. Time only flows from one direction.'

'Don't get me wrong,' he added immediately, knowing that he was sometimes a little ambiguous in his "little speeches". 'I'm not telling you to give up. The opposite in fact.'

'You're telling me to live on.'

'And believe, and do what you can, and from there, let nature take its course.' Yutaka looked at his little brother, and the tears brimming down his cheeks, before reaching over and giving him an awkward hug. He would get out of the car, but he didn't want to stand around in the cold. 'What are you thinking about?'

'What do you think?'

Yutaka looked at him. 'About?'

'About Kouichi. The others. Everything. Me.'

He thought about that for a moment. 'Tomoki, I don't know them as well as you do.'

'I know.'

He understood what his brother was asking. 'This sort of thing tests your relationships with each other. If you go about things the right way, everyone will come out better in the end. But it's never easy to know what the right thing to do is. That's beyond us as humans with our weaknesses in the face of the unknown.'

Tomoki smiled at that point.

'What are you thinking about?

'MagnaGarurumon and KaiserGreymon actually. They said we humans don't believe in limitations, when we were fighting the Royal Knights. That's how we beat them. And Lucemon.'

His brother gave him a long look. 'You'll have to tell be about that,' he said. 'On the way.'

'On the way where?'

'Kyoto.'

Huh? Why'd his brother go in the other direction then.

'Change of scenery,' Yutaka explained, finally opening the car door. 'You always loved the winter festivals. There's one about ten minutes from here. I think you'll enjoy it. Then in the afternoon, we'll head over. 'kay?'

''kay.' He should have known his brother. If he wasn't so much older and complicated.

But he was right. This time. And last time too. There would be a time when he won't be though. Humans weren't perfect after all. That's what made them limitless.


	22. HalfLight

**Author's Notes**

I get the feeling Junpei doesn't really get along with either twin. Ever hear them carrying on a proper conversation, like he does with Izumi and Tomoki (does he with Takuya? Can't really remember). So there's a faint rift, that he didn't really note until something out of the ordinary happens, ie. Kouichi's coma.

And this ends the friendship arc. Up next is…I'm not spoiling the surprise. You'll have to wait and see.

Guess what? I can start the countdown now. For some reason, I always get excited. Theoretically, I should have started it last chapter, but I realised when I was trying to write up the last couple of chapters that the best way to wrap all this up was to actually put it all into one. Otherwise I'd wind up branching out and never finishing this fic. The summary is fulfilled by chapter 28 (which is the 29th chapter). Which means the epilogue is enough to close off. That was the fault of me refiddling with the order of my chapters. Sometimes you never realise until you're actually writing the chapters what works best.

**Chapters remaining after this:** 8

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 21 – Half-Light**

He didn't like situations in which he had never been before. They made him uncomfortable. He had a tendency to stick his foot in his mouth at times, forgetting or not seeing sometimes that others would get hurt or offended by his words or actions as he sought to realign the situation by seeking out knowledge or understanding. Take the incident in front of the Venus Rose for example; he had simply asked if Kouichi knew about the data streams, but the way it had come out had sounded rather...blaming, all things considered. He hadn't meant to, or perhaps he had. He wasn't too sure where his feelings had sat when he found out that Kouji's supposedly long lost and brainwashed twin brother had turned out to be Duskmon. His first reaction was: 'Are you crazy? He's probably lying.' But he had to admit, the guy simply looked to passive to be able to lie about something like that. Seriously, eyes, expression, everything about him just radiated a sense of guilt and sadness. And it had taken a while for that to change into quiet contentment and a sense of peace that was almost a literary paradox in lieu of light. And on top of that, Duskmon's weird obsession with Kouji suddenly made _sense_.

Of course, the confrontation with Cherubimon had been pretty convincing evidence as well. Some small part of him pointed out that it was possible the scene had been played out to gain their trust...but the fact that the spirits flew out of Kouji's D-scanner and the image of them being purged of the corruption that plagued them (along with a commentary of Bokomon whom they did trust unanimously) vastly overrid that. There was still that small seed of doubt though, even after that battle with IceDevimon (he had gotten pretty angry and suddenly a lot more powerful). It had taken that last fight with Lucemon, where he selflessly threw himself between them and their death and the final loss of hope, to eradicate that.

Of course, Kouichi says it wasn't selflessness, but he was starting to understand that was just who Kouichi _was._ He just saw the world a little differently to them. Selflessness to him was always impossible, because every act done in the intention of such always brought, at the very least, personal satisfaction, which made it selfish. Rather philosophical; he had to admit, he was impressed once it processed in his mind. He rather liked philosophy himself.

Of the legendary warriors, they probably had the most awkward relationship, though one would have to dig deep in the web to notice. And he sometimes got the feeling that Kouichi knew and understood his angle, or perhaps that was just the part of him that never pushed. He could find faults in anything, to be honest; people said that you should hide the faults of the people you love, even to yourself, but he didn't believe that. When he asked the others in general, neither did they. And one of the biggest faults he found in the warrior of darkness was his silence; seriously, in his case, it wouldn't hurt to speak up when something was bothering him, or if he wanted something. That was after all what got him into the mess with Duskmon in the first place. But when he had, a little tactlessly, brought the subject up in the presence of both Izumi and his brother, the former who elbowed him _again_ and the latter who gave him a death glare that would have left him in an acidic puddle of muck if looks could kill, the one who the statement/question had been aimed too replied that he wasn't keeping things bottled up inside, and curiosity was also what had led to that mess. But seriously, who could expect him to ignore the fact that he had a brother he had never known?

He had opened his mouth to inquire as to the first fact, seeing as the boy certainly didn't seem to be _talking_ more (he couldn't know, but his mother had mentioned that he was always a rather quiet boy), Kouji had glared again and told him to keep his nose out of personal affairs. Kouichi had giggled a little like that, rather cutely, and asked when there was anything personal in their group, before adding something about a diary or journal or something of that sort, which then prompted Izumi to mention her own which had given him the inspiration, before flatly pointing out that hers was off limits.

He had to think, at that point, when had he ever held a conversation with Kouichi _alone_? Not having anything to do with any of the others. Not having anything to do with the necessities. Now that the other couldn't talk at all, it just bugged him. He knew the rift was entirely his fault; Kouichi had his own unique way of reaching out to other people, and he had. He even poured over his designs with quite a bit of interest; he was the artistic type, though he preferred languages the most, making comments that could not possibly taken as insults but were still useful in improvement. He didn't know how he managed it.

That made him feel somewhat bad. He wasn't the most approachable person, and he could respect that. He didn't think he would suddenly feel _guilty_ about being that way if something like _this_ hadn't happened. He wasn't the type of guy that lugged the world's trouble around on his shoulders. The fault was always shared. He knew that it was just the way he was, the way he had grown up, that made him think certain ways about certain situations, but he suddenly found himself regretting that, at having lost so many opportunities that would have brought them together. It wasn't for lack of trying. It wasn't for blame, guilt, or anything like that. Not anymore. But there was a wall that needed to be knocked down, and neither had hit it with sufficient force. In fact, he could even go as so far to infer that both had ignored it, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

It was one of those clichéd things. You never realise what you have until you lose it. Little things one tends to take for granted, only to realise how important they were when they were no longer there.

That was why he hated unknown situations. They tended to rewrite his life. Well...maybe hated was too strong a word. Most turned out better in the end. Like the digital world.

Actually, when had it _not_?

That didn't mean that he liked the confusing swirl of feeling they brought at the time. The path through the swamp to the golden grail, he supposed.

That brought him to the second problem. Which was essentially the first. His friend, with some sort of weird dielectric relationship, was in a coma. Vitals slowly failing; the Doctor had informed them in the last visit. Slowly approaching death.

He pulled his windbreaker tighter around himself, before deciding to head indoors. Normally, he preferred to think outside, but winter made things dreary, dull, and worst of all, cold.

His mother had prepared some hot chocolate for him, which he gratefully gulped down. School was out for the break, so she didn't mind him lazing off in his studies just a bit; he couldn't get into a good senior high school if he had a brain haemorrhage from studying 24/7. And she understood his mind was on other things; that had interestingly prompted her to prompt him to study harder.

He hadn't understood initially, until he realised how everybody else were growing crazy from something that seemed slow coming and almost inevitable. Kouji was snapping at any one, less them though and more poor people who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like a baited wolf to be honest, though it seemed everyone as regaining their flame somewhere. Talking to others, sharing their plague. A new level of understanding, almost like an epiphany.

It seemed somewhat sad that his epiphany was in the kitchen, alone.

He wondered if Kouichi ever thought any differently of him than he done the rest of his friends. He had never mentioned anything, but from the silent ex-warrior of darkness, that wasn't saying anything at all. He had a way of keeping to himself, being reserved even in a midst where nothing is concealed or hidden. It was rather unnerving, not knowing someone as deeply as he would like, but whether it was to do with one of them or if it was simply the way he is was something he was only beginning to consider.

* * *

He walked into the now familiar hospital room alone that Wednesday. Why he hadn't waited for the others, he didn't really know. He didn't even know if they were planning on coming or even when, but he had just felt like doing this alone.

So he hadn't been prepared to bump into Kouji in the foyer. But then again, they were brothers, twins, and _nothing_ was going to keep them apart. Hell, he didn't want to think what would happen if (and there definitely was still an 'if' there because Kouichi had already beaten inevitable death once) he didn't make it through. It would affect them certainly, but theoretically speaking, they would eventually be able to move on. What about his family though? What about his flesh and blood?

'Stop looking at me like that,' Kouji said, but there wasn't really any bite in the tone. It was true anyway, he had been staring. And no doubt what he had been thinking about had shown on his face.

'Gomen,' he said, a little awkwardly. He _really_ didn't want to be in this sort of situation. If there was someone he didn't know well barring Kouichi, it was Kouji. In a different way though. While he didn't know much about who Kouichi was as a person, it was generally quite easy to read his apparent emotions, from his body posture, his eyes, his tone, and when they had been in the digital world, his aura. Despite the fact that he was emotionally reserved, if he was angry, joyful or feeling something else intently, they would know. It was the particulars that eluded them, and him in particular. The 'I can tell something's wrong but I can't tell what' kind of thing. A little too mysterious at times for his own taste.

Kouji was the complete opposite. Normally.

But the thin dark circles under his eyes told a story of their own.

After a brief moment of silence, Kouji finally turned and headed upstairs. Junpei follows, only to almost run into the boy at the doorway.

Where Minamoto Kousei was sleeping away, half on a chair and half sprawled out on the bed with his head next to Kouichi's hand, and snoring rather heavily.

''tou-san?'

How did he manage to say that without any sort of emotion? Seriously.

''tou-san.' Kouji repeated himself a little louder, before walking forward. Junpei decided to follow, only to really crash into the younger boy as he shook his father than snapped rapidly back.

With a good reason too, as a hand blindly struck like trying to knock away an annoying fly.

The brunette figured that something must have definitely shown on his face that time, because Kouji stepped out from between the other two, and with slight awkwardness showing in his expression, explained his father was one of those people, when disturbed from the deeper levels of sleep, tended to react quite violently. As apparently, did Kouichi, startling Junpei a little with the little tidbit of information.

The older man rubbed his eyes, stared blurrily ahead, then swivelled around to stare at the two behind him. 'Coffee,' he decided, after all the points failed to connect.

'Too much,' Kouji disagreed.

'Don't go acting like Satomi.'

'Seriously 'tou-san. I am not in the mood to deal with another coffee addiction.'

Junpei blinked, as Kousei finally noticed him.

'We'll continue this discussion at home.'

'No we won't.'

Kousei looked at his son.

'You'll have either gotten coffee or forgotten about it,' Kouji clarified. 'And then if we do pick up, it'll be a different conversation topic.'

That would have made somebody at least smile. Normally. But everyone was tired, almost lethargic. Must be the weather bringing everyone down.

Kousei sighed, rubbing his matted brow, before looking at both his sons, one at a time. 'I need some sleep,' he decided, and with that, he headed out the door.

'Where?' Kouji wondered, staring after him with a hint of…surprise? It didn't matter; the question went unanswered.

'You guys are getting along better now,' Junpei mentioned offhand, not wanting another awkward silence lapse.

'Huh?' Apparently, the other hadn't really expected that. 'Oh…yeah, I guess.'

'Why?'

The other looked at him, confused. 'Why what?'

'What made you change your mind?'

Blue eyes bore intensely into his brown ones a moment, before they turned to look at his brother's pale and still form. Instead of answering then, he moved back to the door and held it open.

Junpei took the hint, and the door clicked shut behind them.

'Meeting you guys I guess,' Kouji finally answered, staring at the closed door. 'It seems stupid to admit it now, but because we used to move around all the time, and there always just seemed this barrier between 'tou-san and I, we just never got along. He always used to be at work, and I couldn't keep friends because every time I'd get comfortable with somebody, we'd have to move again. I guess by the time his job became stable and he married Satomi, I had given up trying, thinking that it would hurt far less if I didn't let anyone in at all. But the Digital World, and you all, made that impossible.'

'I bet it was mostly the others,' Junpei muttered to himself, processing that information.

Kouji looked sharply at him.

'Inferiority complex much?'

That was blowing it _way_ out of proportion.

'It was _everyone_,' Kouji continued, emphasising the word. 'You, the others, Bokomon, Neemon, the Celestials…even Lucemon. And some of the other crazy digimon we met. But mostly it was the four of you.'

'Not Kouichi?' Junpei asked in surprise, noting the omission.

'I think I was already changing my ways by then,' Kouji admitted. 'Takuya was just so…stubborn and warm-hearted and hotheaded. Tomoki just had that childish innocence that you can't resist. Izumi was a little mothering to be honest, sort of the impression I get from others complaining about their mothers, and you…well, you reminded me of me to be honest. Only I think you dealt with it better. Far better.'

'Huh?' That hadn't been what he had expected at all.

'You seemed like you were afraid to be alone,' the other explained. 'And you hid that with chocolate and magic tricks and some obnoxious attitude. But still, you stayed with the group. You had the chance to leave but you didn't. You still tried to reach out and connect with people. And even when you seemed jealous of Takuya at times, you never let that come between the two of you as friendship. Me, I just tried to push everyone away until it came to the point where that was impossible.'

'No way,' Junpei denied. 'I surrounded myself with people because I was afraid to be alone. There's nothing special about that.'

'I think there is,' Kouji said quietly. 'That you could stand having them around you. You were facing your fear from the start. I was just locking mine away.'

'This is the first time we've, you know, really talked,' the ex-warrior of thunder mentioned, once the conversation died away again.

Kouji looked at him again.

'I wonder if it's the same with Kouichi. A common fear we face in different ways, and it puts a screen between us that we barely realise or don't need to in the situations we find ourselves.' The brunette shook his head. 'Of all the times. This is really bringing stuff to the light.'

Brown eyes met the blue. 'Why are you here anyway? And don't tell me visiting. You know what I mean.'

The bandana-wearing boy looked at his feet, then the door, then his feet again.

'I don't really know,' he admitted finally. 'I mean, I guess I do. I just- I want him to wake up. I really do. But if him sleeping now means he'll be with us, with me, longer, then I'm willing to wait for him. It took me awhile to see that I guess, even with others telling me, but he's tired. He needs rest. He needs time for his body and mind to recover. And I'll wait for him, so long as he's there in the end.'

_What if he isn't?_ he wanted to ask, but he didn't. This wasn't a time for doubts, even if the end may hurt less for facing them. And besides, for some, those may as well be one and the same. And Kouji was right. He needed time. So what if he couldn't say it out loud. He was asking for it, and they could not begrudge him of that.

'I won't say I understand how you feel,' Junpei said. 'Because I don't. We're all connected in different ways, and you have a relationship with him we'll never know the full extent of. But I do understand what you're waiting for. Because we're all waiting right along with you. Even if the understanding part takes a little longer.'

They were more than friends. They were a family. And that wasn't going to change. Ever.


	23. Season of Death

**Author's Notes**

The Fruits' Basket comment is referring to a crossover I've vaguely planned but am not starting at the present moment. What I really want to do is get my current fics in progress down a bit, then start some of the ones that are fully planned and are on the waiting list.

About the legality of euthanasia in Japan, ie. cutting life support in this case, passive euthanasia is allowed in the case where the patient is suffering from an incurable disease and is in the final stages, patient or guardian gives consent (guardian only when patient is unable), and it is done by stopping treatment (ie. Lacking injection). The incurable part is normally up to the doctors, and remember that it is the general consensus that the longer someone remains in a coma, the less likely they were to awaken and recover. Then there are issues for treatment costs and space as well.

**Chapters remaining after this:** 7

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 22 – Season of Death**

He'd been sleeping for more than three months now, and still he showed no signs of waking up. Visitors: family, friends and even a few people it was highly unlikely the patient would remember the names of flittered in and out of that room, white walls hidden under flowers wilting away and being replaced and posters being changed, regularly at first, but dwindling now. A few stuffed treasures wandered about the room with the help of visitors and nurses, but the lion was always closest to his heart, settling in the crook of his arm near his chest when it could be gotten away with, and resting at the bedside cabinet with warm yet strong brown eyes (somehow, Izumi had managed to track down the exact shade) staring inanimately and yet dolefully at the human it represented. Others had slowly joined, and soon, it became a project between the unity of friends to unite the spirits of the warriors under this roof. The warriors themselves had felt rather bad at the beginning; that was an adventure the other three had not shared, but all three had pointed out there were various other adventures that they had shared together, and had added an ox, a rooster and a sea-horse. Apparently, it was some Fruits Basket related joke they shared.

It was ironic to note that the cat, once again, was the one on the outside. But it was also the unity of them all. They had come together in a play once, in elementary school when they had been given a free reign project, and what they had come with united the cat and the god under the same head. The two ends of a rope tying off into a circle.

Life seemed to like circles. This was just another one of those.

And circles had no beginning, nor an end, unless something disrupted its cycle.

The machines still beeped and hummed rhythmically, maintaining life. But they had so for over three months, bringing no change. Hope wavered before returning anew to the children; anyone who had the luxury of watching them saw that. They would not accept death until it became absolute, simply because of their own individual natures and the bonds they shared with each other. Bonds strong enough to bridge over even when the bridge itself had fallen away, buried in darkness and sleep. But even they weren't enough; heart still pounded with life, with the aid of the machines that supported them, but the slow decline was measurable. All that could be maintained now was heart and mind; the involuntary spasms had seized about a month ago, if not more than that. If there was a real, medical hope now, it was a very slim one. Brain barely functioned; when that stopped too, there was almost nothing. Just an empty shell still forcibly pounding with life.

Both adults sat stock still as the neurologist, one whom the woman was not familiar with, finished his prognosis. Emotionally detached he was, a specialist who had no connections with the pair in front of him outside the matters regarding their son's decision and outranking most of the others that had been in some way involved at certain times during the long period of trial.

'You must be aware,' he said, only the most professional sympathy entering his tone, though the woman's sunken but tear-tracked face was enough to make even the coldest man feel remorse. 'That brain death is the leading factor in assessing medical death.' He pulled out some charts from a folder, and displayed them to the pair. 'This,' he tapped the first. 'Is a reading from the EEG four months ago.' He pointed to each of the next ones in turn, progressing time and smaller fluctuations, till the last. 'This was the latest printout.' A flat line.

The woman shook and drew in a startled gasp, and the man's arm twitched as if to comfort her, but at the same time, respecting the barriers that they were no longer married. In the end, he decided the first was more important, and put an arm around her shoulders, which the other gratefully accepted, noticing the shaking and the moistness of his own eyes as her head, of its own accord, tilted back slightly.

'An EEG reading is not definite,' the Doctor, Hara Yuuno, said, taking in the shaking woman and the rigid man. 'But the chances for recovery, if they still exist, are extremely slim. Almost insign-'

'Don't you dare talk about our son like that,' Minamoto Kousei interrupted angrily, though his insides trembled violently as the possibility of death suddenly became more real than they could ever admit, or imagine.

'Of course,' the Doctor continued, as smoothly as he could. He was used to this sort of reaction, came with the job description after all, but that didn't make it much easier to face. It was fortunately uncommon. More so were the sudden deaths that needed to be broken carefully to panicking family members. 'However, the chances are slim enough that the hospital is no longer under legal obligation to provide support.' He closed his eyes as to avoid the expressions at this stage.

'We pay-' the man began to splutter, torn between grief and unrequited rage.

'There are others in need of these services too,' Yuuno said slowly. 'In the hospital's view, at this stage, resources are being wasted on a patient with little chance of awakening where they could be used to spare someone else from the same fate. Of course, you can attempt to make arrangements for a transferral, but not only is there the distinct possibility he will not survive the transfer, but other hospitals may come to the same conclusion. You can also choose to keep him on life support.' He opened his eyes, nodding at the man whose face had tightly withdrawn. 'As you say, you do pay, and are within your rights to demand the care be continued, but it is time to seriously consider the alternative.'

Both parents, separated yet united at that moment, stared still at the screens before them. And most of all, at that last, flat line.

'On the subject of that,' the Doctor interrupted, gesturing at the flat line. 'I mentioned earlier that the EEG is not definite in determining brain death. Comatose patients can, in some cases, flatline. Kimura-kun's medical records show that this has happened to him before.'

The woman nodded slightly, but it was difficult to concern from the sudden frailty that had seemingly descended upon her.

'Physical tests are somewhat disputable, but our neurologists have confirmed that there is still limited brain activity. In cases of dispute, we also form a CBF, injecting a mild radioactive into the brain and using a counter to measure the blood flow in the brain. As long as there is a flow, there is still life in the medical sense. That was about twenty-five minutes ago, so-'

He was interrupted by a younger doctor, who whispered something, handed him another screen, before leaving.

Yuuno attacked it to the light, showing the small deflections.

'Not-' the woman began, almost hesitantly.

'No,' the Doctor continued. 'Brain death is not called lightly, I assure you. Only in the instance where there is no doubt. Normally, we would use atropine, but considering the circumstances, accelerating heart beat in a patient with cardiac myopathy was considered unwise. The EEG, in this case, is somewhat misleading.'

If possible, the woman slumped further, but this time in essential relief, however slim.

'I must still ask you to consider removing your son from life support,' the Doctor said, firmly yet still sympathetic. 'Think about what is best for him, and for others. This is not a simple question about life and death.'

Neither moved.

The Doctor closed his eyes again, before reopening him and packing the screens away. 'You may visit him in half an hour,' he offered, examining the memo attached to the CBF. 'Take some time. Please, do not make this decision in haste.'

Although the woman only stifled her sobs, he knew she had heard. The two men's eyes met over her head, once with the professional manner covering the empathic sadness that always flittered through in such situations, as well as one could feel while being emotionally disconnected from the situation, crossed with another who was faced with a burden he could not take. The choice was, after all, not in his hands. Despite the fact that he was his son.

The choice lay only with the one with legal guardianship. The woman who had single-handedly raised the child who now slept his life away, blissfully unaware that it may be cut short by the very woman who had given it to him to save him from further futility.

Tomoko just let her tears flow freely. She just couldn't think...she couldn't...

Kousei said nothing, just held a woman in need for comfort. Not his wife, not his ex. Just a woman faced with the burden of someone's life lying entirely on her hands. Someone, who meant the world to her, and more.


	24. Frozen Heart

**Author's Notes**

Nothing in this particular chapter is based on any sort of fact, because I couldn't find anything. So author's license used.

Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention this last chapter, but since I've finished writing the chapters, they'll be up more frequently now. Which I'm sure you guys will be thrilled for, seeing the semi cliffhanger from the previous chapter.

**Chapters remaining after this:** 6

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 23 – Frozen Heart**

She had cried herself to sleep. But neither of the two had left her there, one who had been inside, one who forced to wait in the waiting room until the end, left her be. They stayed, even though at least one of them should have gone back; there was another son in Tokyo waiting for them. Kousei had, instead, called Kanbara Hiroaki and asked him to take care of his son for the night, simply saying something had come up, calling both their attention. He made sure to stress that it was not a life or death situation, and it had nothing to do with Kouichi's health (which was true, technically speaking), seeing as the younger twin would otherwise planted himself on the next train and not listened to any sort of reason.

'What will you do?' Satomi asked quietly, looking at the distressed, sleeping woman, then at her husband.

'Nothing,' Kousei sighed heavily. 'That is not my choice to make.'

'Don't pull on a mask,' she scolded, but he pulled away from her hold, fiddling for a lighter and a packet of cigarettes in his pockets.

The brunette woman frowned, but said nothing. Bad habits died hard, and in any case, he only smoked to soothe his nerves when things were really bad.

He noted the sign: 'no smoking', and left for the outside. For some fresh air, away from suffocating breaths inside.

* * *

Tomoko looked at the forms, once she thought she could give them some serious thinking without bursting into tears. They had lain on the coffee table for three days after, three days the hospital had graciously given her off, even if she had used up all her annual and family leave during her mother's illness, death, then Kouichi's hospitalisation after his tumble down the stairs.

She was thankful, that kindness existed so far in the world. She just wished death and sickness would be too kind. It was too much to hope for now, seeing the words in print, that he would simply wake up, heal enough for surgery, then live on for the rest of his life to a hopefully ripe age. It was not that she was giving up, but she knew quite well that if an epidemic or something that called for more hospital space than Kyoto currently had to offer occurred, the law could order termination of life support based on patients' histories and current conditions. She also knew, that the longer someone remained in a coma with their health dwindling, the more likely permanent brain damage was and the less likely they were to awaken and readapt normal bodily functions.

She also knew how busy the hospitals could suddenly get, and that someone else could be in dire need of that bed, or that equipment, or simply the service. What right did she have to take that away from them for a son who hovered on the brink of death?

Tears started again, despite her best efforts. She was a mother, that was what. No mother would ever think of losing their child. No mother should ever have to think about that. But…she knew her son. She had raised him for twelve years. She knew how much he would hate the situation now. Friends, family, all torn between his world of perpetual darkness and the outer world. The possibility that he was prolonging someone's else's recovery or taking up space or resources they needed while he slept. Knowing he was just sleeping away his life with no indication of ever returning to it.

She looked at the forms one more times, before letting them fall. There was only one thing stopping her. Selfishness. As a mother, as _his_ mother, as a _person_…she didn't want to be the one responsible for death. She didn't want this weight.

But it always came to those who didn't want it.

* * *

It was weeks before she finally returned those forms, delaying, stalling, but knowing she could do so no more. Doctor Kawano looked sorrowfully at the distraught woman, before taking the papers from her shaking hands and handing them to the nurse behind the reception desk. She skimmed through them briefly in a brisk, professional manner, then entered something into the computer and called out the Dean in charge.

It was a flurry of activity after that, as Doctor Kawano lead his colleague away from the reception and to the room where the remainder of the family was visiting.

The two adults looked up as the pair walked in, but the child did not, absorbed in his brother's vision, running a gentle, caressing hand through the limp bangs and willing life back into them, and into the body as a whole.

It didn't take more than the briefest moment of eye contact between the four of them for the message to be delivered.

'I'll give you some time to say goodbye,' the Doctor said softly, leaving temporarily.

Kouji's head snapped up from his half bowed position at that. 'Wha-?'

'Kouji-' Kousei began, before being halted by his ex-wife.

'I should,' she said, voice trembling before she steeled it. 'Kouji, I-' She stopped suddenly, words failing her. Her mind flailed hopelessly for a moment, before she simply came out and stated the fact, consequently saying it rather badly, all things considered.

'I signed the forms. To take him off light support.'

Kouji's eyes widened to the point where you could barely see anything but the white. 'You-' His own mind reeled as the implications of that statement crashed down. 'You wouldn't…you _can't_-'

She shook her head, bluish-black hair down for once and flying into a mess. 'You know he would hate going on like this,' she said quietly, and it was true. 'It's selfish for me to force him to.'

She took the shell-shocked opportunity and her ex-husband's watchful eye to touch her son then loosely embrace him for what could be the last time. Kouji didn't move, even as his father followed suit, then his stepmother, casting legalities aside for a last minute with a son she barely knew.

It was only when a Doctor, not Kawano but the neurologist Hara, came in with a nurse that looked only vaguely familiar that his mind began to unfreeze from the shock.

Not that it really matter, their, his soon, parents thought sorrowfully. Nothing would change no matter what the reaction.

It was only when he tried to run to his brother that he realised his father was gently yet firmly restraining him. It was a mark of how singly focused he was, how important exactly _what_ he was focused on was, that he didn't even think to take a minute at the most to let martial arts instincts kick in and twist or fight his way rationally out of that grasp. In fact, he didn't fight at all, just straining to reach his brother even as he was held well away from the bed upon which he lay.

The bed that was, it seemed, to be his grave.

'Ni-san!' he yelled desperately, still straining. 'You can't let this happen! You can't!'

'Kouji-' Kousei began, only to be cut off.

'Kouichi! Please! You can't give in now! What about your dreams? What about us? What about the Digital World? We'd promise we'd all go back together!'

The Doctor and nurse exchanged glances over the machines they were carefully examining, then unplugging, going from least serious up and leaving the powering of the implanted pacemaker and electrical nodes for last…as a safety precaution. It was unlikely anything was going to happen in the next couple of minutes.

'We promised we'd be together forever! You can't leave us! You can't leave me!'

They were, however, proven wrong by four sudden intakes of breath…well, make that five, because the Doctor who had turned towards the EEG had reacted similarly, and for the same reason.

Momentarily, that flat line had spiked, before becoming a flat line again. No, not so flat, Yuuno noticed, there were small indentions, tiny oscillations that had not been present before. He knew that for sure, he had needed to use secondary tests to confirm the patient was not clinically dead.

'Sensei?' the nurse asked, hands still on the electrodes.

He motioned her away. 'Get the rest of the equipment reconnected and online,' he said firmly. 'Those forms are now void, and the request withdrawn.'

'Sensei,' she reminded. 'The Dean needs-'

'I'm dealing with that now,' he interrupted, marching out the door and looking a tad flustered.

The nurse accepted that, and fluttered about the equipment with a small smile on her face. It always made her sad when there was a child dying, but nothing could make her happier than one pulling through.

Tomoko was feeling rather light-headed at the sudden change. Actually they all were, except the nurse who had seen enough deaths in her lifetime and none being her own child. She didn't have any of her own.


	25. Listen and Feel my Hope

**Author's Notes**

Nothing much to say. Except 'Kama' is the Japanese term for God. Remember Kouji doesn't believe in God? It was in one of the earlier chapters. And yet he's calling one now...

**Chapters remaining after this: **5

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 24 – Listen and Feel my Hope**

'Kama, you gave me a scare,' Kouji muttered into his brother's dry hair, burying his face into the strands and ignoring the smell of antiseptic that seemed to persist in it, remembering instead the dew like smell that seemed to be characteristic of it. They never used conditioner, he knew, and only occasionally shampoo, so the more natural water scent persevered , somehow retaining the country freshness…maybe because he spent a lot of his time, when not in the hospital or confined to school or bed rest, in open areas like parks. 'I-I thought I had lost you there…'

His voice trailed off as he buried himself deeper into the thin hair and the pillow beneath it. After that almost fateful weekend, the family had stayed, or returned to their respective houses, taking the rest of the weekend to just let everything sink in, then return to a week of work, school and in Kouji's additional case, some rather difficult explanations.

They had taken it better than he thought they would. He had been full expecting either Takuya to march up to Kyoto and let his mother have it before thinking about the situation in a more rational manner. In fact, the worse things that had happened is the brunette yelling at why they hadn't been told sooner (he had waited till Thursday) and Izumi bursting into tears. He would have told them on Wednesday actually, but he had received a detention for not completing an assignment that weekend, from one of the stricter teachers who said, sick brother or no, due dates were due dates. However, he had amended that if the said sick brother had _died_, it would have been another matter…just in a far more tactful manner. He had had the martial artist in his class long enough to know not to push his boundaries.

Now it was the following weekend, and he had come out alone. His parents, father and stepmother more specifically, had tried to convince him otherwise, but he needed to see his brother. The hospital had called on Sunday afternoon to inform them that his vitals were strengthening, but he was still frail, still clinging to life by a thread…a thread that had been so nearly cut.

His sleeping patterns, if it were possible, seemed to have gotten worse. He was extremely lucky he hadn't gotten another detention that week, though he suspected that the teachers (well, most of them) were being a little lenient at certain times. Damn them, he thought, for poking their noses where they didn't belong, though he had to admit he was thankful for the slack cut. If he kept getting detentions, he'd never have his weekends free because he would need to keep giving them up for homework, assessments and studying that got drowned in line-writing.

'Anyway,' he mumbled finally, pulling himself from his thoughts and taking comfort for the monotone he had previously cursed. It had almost gone out; they had switched off the sound, to spare them the flatline…not that it mattered in the end, beyond expectation. But that was Kouichi; you never knew what he would do. Sometimes it was entertaining, sometimes plain annoying (especially when you got caught up in a prank of his, but that was mostly Akihiro and Minoru who had a habit of dragging their two other friends into their prank wars). But there were times, like this one, where it was the best thing one could wish for and thensome. 'I-' He paused a moment, gathering his thoughts and trying to sort them into some coherence. 'I miss you. Not physically I mean; you know I've seen you more in this half year than I have in the other one? But it's just not the same. I want to see you _alive_, not just living. But don't rush yourself…' He managed a wry sort of smile. 'I-I don't think I could face almost losing you a third time.'

His voice wavered, but he pressed on. 'Why am I telling you not to rush? You _never_ rush…okay, well except for that one time when you were trying to catch up to me, but that doesn't really count. That was destiny telling you you'll lose me forever…and instead, I almost wind up losing you.' He gave a watery laugh, burying his head further, sinking tiredly onto the soft pillow. 'Just…don't give up, 'kay. Stay with me always…'

He said nothing else, simply taking a dim comfort in his brother's company, however still. He sat like that, one hand enveloping the limp one, still chained to the bedside though it seemed utterly futile, other still tangled in the short cropped hair scattered about the pillow. Heh, what was the point of chaining an unmoving form? As of the were trying to prevent someone from stealing him…

Somewhere along the way, his mind gave into the fog that plagued it, slipping into sleep.

* * *

He woke up blurrily, finding the hospital bed empty.

Empty! A sharp intake of breath, eyes immediately widening to their full extent as the weariness was cast aside, forgotten. 'Ni-san?' he breathed in panic. 'Where-?'

His blue eyes darted across the room, seeing the disconnected machines, the white covers haphazardly thrown over the bed in a bunch, a restraint dangling off the rails that had been drawn back down, the surrounds that they had refreshed time and time again with flowers, get well cards, posters and the growing collection of stuffed animals, courtesy of the two girls, were gone. The walls looked horridly bare, like a prison…or a coffin.

'Ni-san? Kouichi!' he cried out in panic. 'Where are you?'

A nurse walked in at that point, and the teenager launched himself at her, much to her surprise. 'My brother? Where is he?'

The black haired woman looked at him. 'The boy with the heart disorder?' she asked, her face showing a professional sorrow.

'Yes,' the other almost sobbed, panic rising. 'Is-'

The hazel eyes closed. 'I'm sorry,' she said softly. 'He didn't make it.'

But how? Why? He had been getting better, hadn't he?

'No…he can't be-'

The nurse collected the sheets she had come for and left, leaving the distressed and shocked teen behind.

'He _can't_-'

He threw himself half on the bed, hands grasping the pillow where his brother's head had been laying for so long. It isn't true, he thought fiercely. This is wrong. This is just wrong.

'Of course it is,' a familiar voice said warmly, arms circling around his waist and a face burying itself into his back. 'Do you know why?'

'Ni-san?' the other whispered hoarsely. 'But how-?'

'Always,' Kouichi's voice murmured in his ear. 'I'll stay with you always. I promise.'

'You shouldn't make promises you can't deliver.' Kouji turned his head.

'Whether a person lives or dies, as long as you remember them and respect that memory, they live on in your heart.'

'You're not even here. You can't be.'

'Why not?'

'Because…damn it, you've been in that hospital for the last…what? Five months? Six.? You've been in a coma for more than four of them. And that nurse…you just can't be. You're a figment of my imagination.' He squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't know which was worse. Someone telling him so briefly his brother was dead, or his brother sounding impossibly (even for him) as healthy as can be.

'You've always been the pessimistic twin,' Kouichi laughed warmly, hold tightening ever so slightly, the other's hand feeling a little strange. 'You're right…sort of. I'm a figment of your imagination, but so is the rest of this.'

'So I'm dreaming?' Hopeful, as though a child waiting for a once in a lifetime opportunity.

'More like having a nightmare.'

'What are you then? My conscience, telling me I'm worrying too much and let things be?'

'Nope.' And he laughed pleasantly again, before withdrawing. 'I'm the voice telling you you're perfectly allowed to worry for one but you do need some worry-free rest like right now, and two, you'd better wake up before you miss something I think you'll like to see…'

* * *

He shot up in a panic, almost falling off the chair in his haste, before his mind registered several things at once. First, his brother was there on the bed, confirming the nightmare (unless this was the nightmare). Second, their clasped hands were at a rather painful angle due to the rails and restraint, which the younger twin hastily fixed. Third, the hand he held had twitched slightly. He could swear on his spirits it had.

His eyes shot to the EEG, which seemed to have picked up the sudden spike. 'Kouichi?' he asked softly, worriedly, turning back to his brother's comatose form.

Nothing.

'Ni-san?' a little louder, but a little firmer. 'Are you with me?'

A twitch, just enough to be caught by the naked eye, within his loose hold.

And the monitor continued emitting its tune, which he now noted, sounded a little stronger.

He could have collapsed right then and there…but he felt oddly refreshed, somehow. And a little giddy, though he supposed that was from relief.

Though to say Doctor Kawano wasn't surprised at seeing the almost euphoric grin on the normally stoic face would be a blatant lie.


	26. Thou Spring Cometh

**Author's Notes**

We're taking a break from the hospital again to deal with a bunch of idiots who don't know which buttons not to push. In other, we return once more to the rest of the gang…sort of.

You always find people who aren't sympathetic or kind in some circumstances. And people who are rather disbelieving. But remember Rome wasn't built in a day; Kouji may be nicer now (generally), but he was quite a jerk at the beginning of the season, and Takuya was still an irrational gogglehead that always got himself into trouble. So they naturally made not-so-good reputations of themselves in earlier years, and some of those did tag along with them to junior high school. I actually got lucky in that sense; I started afresh in sixth grade (the type of school that had primary, middle and senior (high)).

**Chapters remaining after this**: 4

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 25 – Thou Spring Cometh**

'You look better,' Takuya commented, once the younger twin slipped into his seat for homeroom. 'Though you're later than usual.'

'Slept in,' the raven mumbled. 'But Kouichi's doing better.'

'Really? As in-'

'As in he's coming out of the coma. His hand twitched yesterday, and he's starting to react to outside stimuli…sort of.'

'Sort of?' the brunette's eyes furrowed a bit. 'Is that a good thing or a bad thing?'

'I don't know, to be honest,' Kouji sighed, leaning his head on his pile of books. 'He kinda only seemed to hear my voice. And 'kaa-san's when she came.'

'I don't think that's a bad thing,' the brunette surmised. 'You two are way closer than some doctor. Even if that doctor is a good friend of your mother.'

'Actually, the neurologist, Doctor Hara, is the one who assesses him.'

He recognised that name, the one who had almost cut the life support.

'He was just doing his job Takuya,' Kouji said, tilting his head slightly and noting the look.

'It doesn't make it any easier to accept,' the other replied, lowering his own head. 'I am _never_ being a doctor. I don't think I could face up to making or doing that sort of thing.'

'You should stick to being a teacher. Police have to as well, just in different context.'

'That's true.' He cracked a tired sort of grin. 'A bunch of little brats calling me Sensei. That doesn't sound too bad. Kouichi said he'll send his daughter along.'

'Huh?' Kouji sat up and gaped. Literally. 'His _daughter_?'

'Relax, hypothetical' The brunette shook his head. 'Weird dream on the weekend.'

'You two?'

'Huh?'

'…it's just that, I was dreaming too. That he-'

'-died. The room was empty, like a prison or-'

'-coffin. Yeah, then he just pops up out of nowhere…'

'I didn't see his face though.'

'Me neither. He sounded fine though.'

'And then I woke up-'

'-and his hand twitched.'

Takuya paused. 'I think I lost the conversation somewhere. I'm not cut out for twin talk.'

Kouji sighed to himself, before realising their homeroom teacher was waiting patiently to start the attendance. 'Lunch,' he said, before turning his attention partially to where it was due.

* * *

It was rather unfortunate that the world wasn't filled with patient and sympathetic people, Takuya grumbled, staring at the paper placed in front of him. This would never had happened otherwise.

He stole a glance at the raven haired male sitting two seats away, then the larger, bulkier blonde three spaces in front. In a way, he was glad the guy was at the front; he could glare holes into his back that way. Another pair, one short cropped black, the other somewhat brown and long, but both rather large as well, sat behind them.

How had they all wound up in an afterschool detention? Well, it had started with the pair continuing their conversation from homeroom, when the triplet of ninth-graders had saunted up.

_ 'So he really is getting better then.' The brunette threw himself onto the grass in relief. 'Thank God.'_

_Kouji joined him. 'You should have seen me then. The Doctor thought for a moment I was high on something.'_

_Stifled laughter. 'What? Like snorting a line of coke? You?'_

_Blue eyes rolled gently. 'Well, -'_

_He never got to finish his sentence as another voice interrupted, this one a cocky sound of amused. 'All depressed over your so-called brother,' the dirty blonde scoffed._

_Kouji sat up and scowled darkly, but said nothing. Takuya wasn't quite so reserved._

_ 'Just shut it Kaneda,' he spat. 'I feel sorry for the guy who think he's getting any love from you.'_

_ 'Want to repeat that Kanbara?' the male next to Kaneda shot back, cracking his fingernails. 'Shall we send you to your non-existent friend? Come on, need to resort of playing fantasy 'cause you barely have any friends of your own.'_

_That last statement was addressed to Kouij, not Takuya. _

_ 'Better a few friends like these than the world,' Kouji said with restrained calm. 'And my brother is no fantasy.' After going ten years not knowing…_

_ 'He will be soon enough,' Kaneda scoffed. 'Seriously, I've heard the rumours flying about. Lying in a hospital bed for six months. That's pretty pathetic for a twelve year old.'_

_ 'Shut up. You know nothing about Kouichi.'_

_The third met the fiery brown eyes. 'I do know he's a weakling if he's still sleeping. Anyone else would have either woken up or died.'_

_ 'Shut UP!'_

_Luckily, or unluckily, depending on which perspective you were looking from, a teacher had noticed the commotion and broken them up_.

He furiously scribbled the last few lines, before tossing his pencil down. 'Done.'

He heard an identical assertion behind him, and scowled.

'Dismissed,' the teacher said, without looking up from his essay corrections.

Both brunettes turned on their heels and marched out, deftly ignoring each other…till they got to the fork in the corridor.

'He's not weak,' Takuya said suddenly, catching the other's collar and not caring he had just finished his punishment, nor that he was physically outmatched (though that was excluding the Digital World factor). 'He's smart. He's resting now so he can survive the operation that could save his life forever. Otherwise he would have probably died before he was fifteen. You don't understand him. He knows death better than anyone I've ever met; he'd willingly throw himself into that path if it meant something good could come out of it. But he would never, never, give up, no matter what odds were against him.'

With that little speech, he stalked off to his locker, ignoring the ninth grader that, apparently still disagreed, but decided it wasn't worth the trouble.

He hadn't been the one looking for a fight. He was just stating his opinion. Obviously at the wrong time.

* * *

Izumi was on the phone by the time the pair made it to her house, more than an hour after expected. She glared at them, but as she was in the middle of a conversation, that left Junpei to fill the scolding role.

'Where were you guys?'

'Detention,' Kouji sighed, collapsing on the couch and flexing his sore palm. 'Lines. Dunno how Takuya managed to finish before me.'

'Barely,' he reminded. 'You were finished within a couple of minutes.'

'Whatever for?'

'Getting into a fight.'

Tomoki looked at the pair, who looked none worse for wear.

'Teacher stopped us,' Kouji muttered to the inquisitive glance. 'But one of us would have turned them into mincemeat if we had the chance. They have no right to call him weak-'

The two brunettes looked to Takuya for an explanation, which he obliged them with. But first…

'Kouichi's coming out of his coma.'

'Really!'

Izumi walked in to the living room at that point, and had heard and joined in on the din.

After that was a flurry of conversation with Takuya in the middle. Kouji withdrew himself, and the other's let, for the time being, as the three were brought back up to speed.

'Jerk,' Izumi scowled, once Takuya got to the three ninth-graders and their detention-earning act. 'Oota-kun did the same thing as you, only he managed to get away without punishment.'

'Oh?' Takuya blinked, realising he didn't feel anything…anomaly towards the other, after all this time had passed. 'How did he manage to do that? I want lessons.'

The blonde giggled a little. 'Well, he beat the other guys up, then Kichida-chan pulled him away by the ear before he got caught or did permanent damage. Then, when they complained to a teacher, she didn't believe them because he hasn't done anything except not really pay attention in class since July. So they got suspension for getting into a fight, apparently with "each other", and he got off.'

'Was that her on the phone now?' Kouji asked, sneaking back into the conversation.

'She's still on,' the half-Italian said. 'Just on hold, because she was getting another call.'

The younger twin nodded absentmindedly, before getting up and heading for it.

'You know,' Izumi rolled her green eyes lightly. 'You could have asked.'

That was something he would have done half a year ago though.

'You know,' Tomoki said suddenly. 'Doesn't it feel like Kouichi-nii's been here in spirit with us? Sort of, I mean, once we all sort of got over the fact that…well…I'm not explaining this well at all, am I?'

'Not at all,' Junpei shook his head. 'But-'

'It makes sense anyway,' Takuya finished. 'I guess that's why we're a family in ourselves.'


	27. Awakening

**Author's Notes**

Oh, the title is such a giveaway. Never mind, it was still interesting to write up.

Some more medical notes. Advanced heart disease patients cannot undergo liver transplants because they'll die in the process. Ditto with the kidney, but I think you can if they're temporarily out of the danger zone (if not, just go along with it). Danger of heart attack in surgery though, and with a weak heart, that could kill him. But seriously, I've plenty of other chances too; that's not the one and only. Point is, it's illegal.

And the stuff about comas at the end is true too. Took a lot of research to track it down, and very vague, but true apparently nonetheless.

**Chapters remaining after this:** 3

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 26 – Awakening**

It was remarkable. But it was likely the rise before the fall. The brief false bloom before the petals fell away, dry and dead, to reveal fruitless seeds and a wasted corpse.

But some children really were remarkable, Doctor Hara Yuuno had to admit, assessing the latest printouts from the electrocardiogram and the EEG. There had been a steady improvement. His brain was responding reflexively to stimuli, even if in a slow, lethargic manner, and his heart beat was strengthening, as if it had needed the time to recuperate and was now ready to pound life for another…month or two he would give it, carefully calculating. It was already beginning to plateau from the strain.

He had been in the medical field for over twenty years, so he got used to the pessimism associated at times. But if people were still fighting, then all he could do was make it a fight where the ground was still firmly beneath their feet.

He put the leaflets away, before pulling out another page, frowning slightly at the legal issue that had kept the heart transplant before they could attempt to find a match. The period in which blood had been lacking had caused issues; his brain had mercifully emerged, as far as they could tell, unscathed. His lungs were fine now, relatively speaking, after some work and drugs flushing out the side-effects from the near stilled blood flow, but the kidneys were the major issue. And the muscles, though that could only be addressed any further than it was already after the patient woke up.

If he woke up. There was still that if.

As for liver, they, Kimura-kun specifically, were extremely lucky his body had reserved enough blood to keep it active. There was no way, living miracle or not, he would be able to survive a liver transplant. Nor would they have even been able to convince the medical board to lodge an application. It had taken quite a while and convincing to allow for the kidney, which, if successful and if Kimura-kun ever awoke from his coma (which was in fact increasing in likelihood by the week), would enable him to hopefully get a heart transplant. And _that_, would, if successful, allow him to live a mostly normal life till he died of ripe old age…or some other sort of complication. A sad few ever survived to see the creases never fading.

He tapped his pencil thoughtfully, before leaning over and tapping the keys on the keyboard in a swift manner, bringing up the requested screen soon enough. He read over the guidelines for a moment, before entering the necessary details and putting the young teenager on the waiting list.

There was a far better chance now. And this kid seemed to be making a habit of doing the medically impossible. At least he would try to even the playing field against death. Once the kidney was taken care of, they could attempt a heart transplant.

Of course, he would need to inform his parents. The placing was, temporary, so in theory he could withdraw the request at any time. And he was banking on the fact that the comatose patient, already nearing an emergence, would be conscious and temporarily out of danger by the time the request was approved. Otherwise legality again would emerge victorious.

He reached for his phone, drawing up the patient records, and more specifically, the contact details.

'Kyoto hospital,' he said briskly. 'This is Doctor Hara Yuuno.'

* * *

Tomoko sung softly, carefully stroking her son's hair, the lullaby she used to sing her sons when they were young, and together. Her eyes were closed, but their sense could still see the thin, frail thirteen year old, smaller than he should be, and paler, far paler, than any human she had ever seen. He had always been pale, but at a time in between, it seemed that he had barely any more colour than the sheets he lay on, though he had regained a little since then.

She could bear it better now, she thought. Or worse. Better if he was well and truly on the road to recovery, but if his health plummeted again-

-she couldn't even think about it.

The room still had the sense of forced, cheerfulness, but amazingly, there wasn't a single hint of falsity in it. She had to admit, despite the divorce and semi-recent silence of two of their members, their family had never been closer, and she could not even begin to establish how close his sons' friends were. Nor did she really understand; she knew them all, some more so than others as Kouichi had known them longer, yet till this day she remained ignorant of the glue that had gone towards sticking them together.

Not that it really mattered, she realised, falling silent and holding a limp hand instead, feeling the bony structure within her gentle hold. She knew, quite honestly, that it would take a long time, when he woke up, for him to be bounding around as per normal. If he ever did.

Comas changed people. They changed the ones connected, sometimes in a good way, sometimes bad. But most of all, they changed the one sleeping their lives away.

She wished it wouldn't. Kouichi was Kouichi, just the way he was.

She looked up as Doctor Hara came into the room. He had called the previous evening with the news, and she had only briefly hesitated in agreeing. That hesitation was easily overrun by Kousei and Satomi, the former insisting before the idea of protesting even occurred to her that he could and would handle the financial aspects of the deal. Her job wasn't all that well paying, barely enough for mother and child to live on. The hospital fees had become too much, and her ex-husband and her son's father had already been pitching in. She feared he was taking more weight than he should. He inversely feared she was taking more than she could carry. In the end, it was Satomi who reasonably pointed out that both were true, and perfectly viable, and the matter was left alone.

Later, she overhead her other son and their friends talking, and found with some weak humour that they were not the only ones having that sort of discussion.

She smiled softly, feeling Kouichi's hand twitch slightly in her grasp, before turning back to the neurologist with the smile still in place, though some fire of hope kindling in her eyes as though daring fate to try and break her again. It would be all or nothing this time. She knew that for sure. So did everybody else. The human body simply wasn't meant to be stretched for far. If the bloom fell this time, it would remain fallen forever, crumbling into dust to be broken down into the world and one day being the root for something else. But humans, when dead, lead not to other humans, but decomposers, bacteria, fungi…and eventually the soil which sustained plants which in turn revolutionaries the carbon-dioxide saturated air to provide enough oxygen to survive the rest of humankind. When one thought of it like that, it was a long, everlasting cycle that could not be escaped till the end of time…if it ever came.

'Just a routine checkup,' the neurologist assured, and the woman remained placate, returning to stroking small circles into her son's hand while the male poured over the machine and his notes, then the patient himself.

If he hadn't had that twenty something years of experience, he would have probably jumped out of his skin when he held one eyelid partway open with the index finger and thumb of his right hand and shining a small hand-torch into the pupil with the left, to find the pupil constrict from the sudden light (which wasn't that unusual, simply meant he one step further from death and closer to awakening) and the other eye cranking open ever so slightly to leave two blue eyes staring at him in utter bewilderment.

Being a doctor, his first instinct was to check that indeed, both eyes were open (he had let go of the right one) and yes, they were staring at him…vaguely. His second was to assess the level of consciousness, barking questions slowly enough to realise after the first one that the other had tried and failed to verbally answer that question, or perhaps ask one of his own.

As barely open as they were, the eyelids were already drooping again, and Kouichi had to strain to hear what was being said to him by the unfamiliar man hovering there. Undoubtedly, if he had been feeling up to snuff, the said man would have a bruise at the very least for being so close at the time his slumber had been disturbed by a piercing light, but as it was, he could barely muster enough energy to keep his eyes cracked open just enough to make out blurry shapes that, for the most part, meant nothing to his exhausted brain.

Something cool suddenly trickled down his throat, and he immediately lapped it up. Well, his body did. His mind was still at an utter loss, not to mention still utterly exhausted.

He was confused. He felt he needed to fight. The instinct to fail bubbled up within him, but his muscles twitched, seizing slightly at the very best. They felt too foreign to do anything more. A strange sound escaped from his throat as his mind grappled for some sort of rationality, in some sort of deranged denial to those who had the luxury of listening, before progressing into a full-blown scream as senses snapped into a wild frenzy momentarily as his eyes suddenly shot open fully, the overhead hospital lights glaring into the turquoise irises.. Disconnected, lost…utterly lost, and helpless. Flailing still in a sea of blackness, still fighting on towards that light.

It didn't take long at all for him to slip back into unconsciousness, monitors which had reacted calming with the body and mind. Doctor Hara was somewhat relieved, pulling away from the unconscious teen once more.

'That's perfectly normal when someone first awakes from their coma,' he attempted, somewhat distantly, to placate, most of his mind still occupied. 'It takes time for patients to become fully aware and connected with their surroundings, and longer still to recover from them.'

'But…he'll recover?' Tomoko asked hesitantly, one hand gripping the shirt over her heart.

Yuuno hesitated at that. He disliked giving props where he could not tell the outcome. It was good the teen hadn't gotten particularly violent during his first awakening, but that was also the one typicality he had missed out on. It was possible, and rather probable however, that his body in lieu of his heart, was simply too tired still to do so, still somewhat placated by the intravenous dosage beside the adequate nutrition to sustain a viable living body.

If that was the case, then it was a very good thing. Otherwise his awakening could well have been his death.

It could well still be, if he fell again. But right now, it was his last hope. Unless there was another miracle waiting in the wings.


	28. Last Chance

**Author's Notes**

Medically speaking, it takes years to fully recover from a coma. The brain has been stagnant for a very long time, so the neural connections for day to day things have to be re-established. Typically, it takes about six months to be semi-independent, and I think about two to three years before they can get away without supervision. Problem is, this stuff applies to localised brain injuries; can't find any info that doesn't. Though I'll be sticking to what I can find. Sort of.

Did I say this story was going to finish by spring (fic setting)? Tell me I didn't specify the year, please? Because it's not the same year. Spring to summer to autumn to winter to spring, then year gaps. Then spring again. If I did say that, it was the old plan. I've done more research since then.

I know it's a little on the short side, but I liked the ending and now I want to skip ahead.

**Chapters remaining after this:** 2

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 27 – Last Chance**

That second time was far more chaotic. Namely because his senses were aligned enough to search desperately for an outlet to the almost claustrophobic confusion he found himself trapped in. Someone spoke to him, attempted to soothe him. A needle poked him. But he never noted the latter, and it took minutes for him to recognise the sounds, and days before he could connect them to the past.

The other teenagers, his friends, had, suffice to say, freaked out. Until they calmed enough to realise that one did not magically awake from a coma and return to real life as the movies suggested. That left Junpei profoundly cursing them, and their parents worrying about how they would take this new leg of events.

Whatever lessons they had learnt during the coma though, had remained steadfast and stuck. Each took charge of something, and worked towards bringing their last member up to speed. Like mini-teachers teaching the same student, or being mums, Izumi noted at one point, realising that it really was, at some stages, like re-raising a child, including the temper tantrums.

Perhaps, because he was Kouichi and they had never seen him in a real temper (save his parents), it was more amusing than annoying. The guilty apology that followed was familiar though. Apparently, his brain was making connections again.

They must have taken a few steps back themselves. Because seven months had, in the end, while full of oscillations, rises and falls, done nothing to dampen their spirits. Something still bound them all tight.

As for Kimura Kouichi…those seven months had passed with absolutely no memory at all.

* * *

'Only a very small percentage of patients wake up from a coma that extends six months,' Doctor Hara explained once again to Minamoto Kousei and Kimura Tomoko, two months after their son's emergence from the coma, from whereon he seemed to have gained more sense of his surroundings, though his movement and cognition was still impaired. Both seemed to be improving though, and the constant visitations, chatter and stimuli certainly contributed to that. 'And even fewer emerge with the capacity to be able to continue to live a normal life. 'To be honest, Minamoto-san, Kimura-san, never in my years in the medical field have I had a case quite like this one, where bonds between family and friends prove stronger than the direction where science and human body limitations lead.'

'Can you get to the point?' Kousei snapped, once the neurologist trailed off.

'Uh, yes.' Yuuno closed his eyes a moment, before opening him again. 'The medical board has approved that we can commence with a heart transplant at this stage, and we have received notification that there is a compatible donor organ available, from an accident death donor so that greatly improves the chances, so-' He cut off, shuffling through papers to pull out the required forms. 'If you'll just fill these out, we can make the necessary arrangements for the operation.'

He handed the forms to Tomoko, who took them but made no indication of doing anything else. She knew the risks, the procedure, the recovery period, etc. Doctor Hara had already gone through that with them. This was just a final call, so to speak. Their final hope as well. The kidney transplant had gone as planned, introducing no new complications, which was good seeing as the coma brought about enough. Rehabilitation was bringing the teenager slowly up to speed though.

'Kimura-san?'

'I'd like to talk to my son first,' she said, somewhat firmly.

The Doctor looked at her, and nodded in dismissal.

She took that.

* * *

'Hey honey,' she said softly and slowly, seeing Kouichi's eyes following her from the door. 'You okay?'

Kouichi smiled gently at her, reminding her of her darling little toddler. Sometimes, she mused, finding the silver lining, it felt like her baby had really returned to her, giving them both a second chance. Of course, his disjunction complicated that. 'Tired,' he said, and he really did sound the part. 'Bored.'

She chucked. That part of him evidently hadn't changed.

'You up to surgery?' she asked, smile fading for seriousness.

His brow furrowed. 'Surgery?' he repeated, as if it was a foreign word. It might have been; the second time he had awoken, he had not understood them at all, and it had taken a few panic-stricken moments for the childhood phrases to seep through. They had discovered at that point that that was not the only thing reminiscing a baby less than one year of age, but he was doing far better now, though he still couldn't feed himself or move inconspicuously, or move very far at all without aid. 15 steps was his record so far, not that he remembered. His short term memory still seemed rather problematic, though it had progressed to only affect more personal matters. His neural interactions seemed to be strengthening back to their innate selves, though it would take years before he was fully functional...if he survived that long. And his math was about the level of a lower elementary school kid. His Japanese about the same. He knew the facts. It was just about reapplying them. Hence why science was still fine...once the question got across.

He seemed to be doing okay though, excluding the days littered in between and progressively getting closer (it was a little hard to tell, to be honest) and he couldn't move at all. He was less patient about that, she noticed. More open. And signs of the myopathy were coming back, and his time was fleeing with it.

'These Doctors are going to make your heart all better sweetie,' she said gently, brushing his bangs as she had been doing ever since he had first cried for the absence of his father and brother at the age of three.

''kay,' the boy murmured, though he hadn't really understood all of that. He was sick of it too, but he got the feeling he was a lot better, so he shouldn't really be complaining. He certainly felt better than the last time he remembered, which was apparently nine months ago, though it didn't feel nearly as long.

His friends visited as often as they could. They talked a lot too, though he mostly either didn't catch or forgot the words. The emotions stayed; they were worried, they were ecstatic…and somewhat strained. Almost like a thick rubber band, like the one they had used on the Digital World's moon to propel them into space, strained almost too far then relieved of its tension only to pull on it again, with different hands.

If they had their moments, they had them far away from him. Same went for his family. They were all patiently there, by his side, waiting for him to catch up to the world again.

He was trying too. It was just taking a while. It always did.

Sometimes he got frustrated. But he'd return to his tasks with a vengeance. He had certainly gotten more stubborn, Doctor Kawano had amusedly noted during one of these sessions, when he had finally succeeded in reading out the jumbled alphabet correctly (knowing the alphabet was one thing, but recognising the symbols when they were all mixed up was another entirely).

Tomoko knelt down and hugged him tight, feeling the vigour returning slowly. 'Stay strong for Mama,' she whispered sweetly, before pulling away and letting her loose hair frame them both. 'Just a little while longer…'

He looked at her. Then smiled again. The smile a child gave their mother, when she was at the top of their world. Tomoko could have cried at that look, remembering the anti-thesis months ago, but restrained herself.

She stayed until he fell asleep again, before returning to sign the forms.

* * *

There was a little panic in the second surgery, but nothing that wasn't ramified on the spot. That was a day for celebration, then more hard work from family, friends and patient alike as they finally took the first firm and literal step on the road to rehabilitation together.


	29. Never Go Astray my Love

**Author's Notes**

This was originally supposed to be three chapters, but I realised once I started writing it that I couldn't prolong it for that long because I lacked any form of experience in the subject. I haven't even read a story about it, so lack of knowledge to feed inspiration there. Remember what initially inspired this fic? Boredom in the sickbay while being sick? It's actually come quite far from that...but I'll save the farewell speech for the epilogue.

Take note that time floats around here. At one point, I might be talking, for example, three or so months after he wakes up from a coma, then we're back to the first couple, then jumping along to eight months. I found it works that way, so since I'm the one who's writing this, I'm sticking to it. To be honest, it isn't quite as confusing as it sounds.

**Chapters remaining after this: **1

Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Chapter 28 – Never Go Astray My Love**

He had been in the hospital for so long, that it was strange to see him out of it. Whether it was odd for him or not was a little harder to tell, simply because he was occupied with learning, relearning and realigning himself with a world he had been apart from for over a year. He may have only been in a coma for half of that, but it had soon become apparent that he, like many others whose brains were affected in the vegetative state, had developed a sort of retrograde amnesia that clouded the main hurdles of his illness. On top of that, his short term memory was still suffering, though it appeared to have somewhat improved...enough in any case that he was permanently catching on to the simple actions a child of two or three could carry out with ease without forgetting again momentarily.

The first couple of months was like re-raising a toddler, Tomoko noted somewhat fondly, watching her son sleep peacefully. Most of it had passed in the hospital, but even before returning home, she found that improvement, like much else in life, was a double-edged sword. Once his memories had aligned with the present, it was quite obvious to him that he could no longer do things that had once come easily to him. It had taken him four weeks to relearn the Japanese alphabet, which the neurologist had attributed to his young mind. Some older patients, he noted with a hint of professional sorrow as he always did, never did learn to do read again. It had taken longer still to string them into words and sentences that made sense; two months in, he was talking like his one year old self over thirteen years ago. And barely understanding more.

If it bothered anyone, they hid it well. The period which had passed in darkness hid that from all of them. Now there was only that one focus.

But as time passed, muscle strength improved as did his mind, onlookers couldn't help but notice the subtle differences in him.

He seemed almost reluctant for their company, which was the first odd thing to be noticed. The old Kouichi would never shy away from company, even if he had to shadow it like a...well, shadow, to be honest. He was quiet still, he always had been, but there were times where it seemed to almost be a different sort of silence. Not the calm, gentle soul, but one still struggling between two faces, two persona. It was eerily reminiscent from Duskmon in a way...especially as once he began re-grasping languages to his older ability to be able to turn his insight into something legible, his way of pointing these things out shadowed the turmoiled interplay between the kind and gentle soul and the hardness that came from somewhere else.

In the end, it was a biology lecture that cleared up that issue. Yutaka actually, who was still studying psychology at the colleague, finding that there were instances the organ carried more than its simple biological functions over a transplantation, and others still where it was the life-threatening event itself, even if cushioned under loss of memory, that brought about the steel.

They also noticed, Tomoko most of all, that his sleeping patterns had changed. He had been a deep sleeper, and when awoken suddenly, quite violently shocked. But now, he stirred at the faintest sounds, and had trouble sleeping at all on the days where there was no moon. She suspected it had something more to do with the open curtains than supernatural forces as Izumi had suggested at some point. He seemed almost afraid of sleeping in full blackness...not that she could blame him. Whether or not his memories ever returned of his coma, that blackness at the back of his mind was still a thing that had almost taken his life. And he still remembered the far briefer coma he had fallen under, if only between his "death" by Lucemon's hands and his awakening with Kouji's tears trailing down his pale skin.

There were alot of things to do; sometimes, one wondered where, apart from sleeping, he ever got time to himself. He didn't, to be honest, but that suited him fine, though he constantly found himself wishing, from the moment he could, that he could be more independent and less of a burden on other people.

Tomoko would notice that look straight away and scold him for it. When she was home. Because she also had a job to maintain, in which case she left Kichida Arini to watch him, who claimed that between one adult son, a teenage son and daughter and a perfectly capable house-husband, she was sure they could hold the fort for six to eight hours without her. She enjoyed helping her daughter's friend in any case; it hadn't been all that long since she raised up her youngest son.

At times, you could tell Kouichi was frustrated by the slowness of it all, even though he was progressing well, in some areas, faster than one would expect. By eight months, he could walk the length of the small apartment without any individual aid; it took a little longer to refine his reflexes. Repetition, after a little while came easily; stringing bits of knowledge together to compensate for new scenarios was taking a lot longer. Simple math problems he could do once the basic strokes were rewired into his brain, but the more complicated ones that required application still managed to elude him.

He also wasn't quite as reserved with his emotions, something Junpei particularly noticed, mainly because it was the reservedness of the raven haired male that had bothered him for the longest time. They, family and friends, stayed to see the changes that had infallibly failed to bring them in a full circle.

The Kouichi they knew never left that though. No matter how frustrated he was, he kept looking forward, though he sometimes needed someone to hold the binoculars (not literally, of course) for him. Every failure, every problem, was met with a determination to try harder, to pay back the people that had brought him this far, who had stuck by him when they had every chance to turn back and suffer less.

'Why?' he had cried at one point, the pencil falling from his hand as they failed to grasp the firmer nuances of writing elegantly and drawing legibly. The lead had clattered to the floor, but he had made no attempt to try picking it up, knowing he would fumble it. Kyuukai played with it instead.

Yoshiko had been across from him at that point, patiently guiding his hands and talking about mundane things like the new school year in the process. So had Izumi, who had decided the brunette would be teaching her art, which Yoshiko had, after the surprise faded (though she supposed it had something to do with the stuffed animals now assorted between the nine, excluding the babies which had somehow, with some help, spread themselves out amongst the other terminally ill occupants of the children's ward), agreed on the condition that the blonde taught her how to cook in return. Izumi had, obviously, agreed.

The two girls at that point stared at Kouichi, who determinedly avoided their eyes. They knew he wasn't talking about the drawing. Or the pencil. He was asking why they were still there.

Two variants of green eyes met, before returning to the blue who still strayed from them. 'We could have,' Izumi had said softly. 'But you're our friend. And that's enough.'

In the end (about a month later actually), Junpei had expanded on that once the ex-warrior of wind had relayed the question, realising he was getting his first taken chance to converse alone with the ex-warrior of darkness.

'It's because we have each other. We're so tightly woven now, between our adventures in the digital world, your family being the whole "absence makes the heart go fonder" cliché and those guys who've known you since...well, most of elementary school, which is quite a while in a kid's eyes. Then our parents, family friends, brothers in the case of Takuya, Shinya and Yoshiko (at some point, the formality had disappeared between them all), and people who we barely know, like Yagami-sensei and Takuya's vice-captain last year...forgot his name. Let's just say we're one super tight coil of DNA, and one little mutation ain't going to change anything. To be honest, I think it was only because they had so many other people and things impinging on their lives that they were able to make it through this and still stay together.' He had paused for a second there. 'Do you understand the DNA-'

'Science is fine,' Kouichi waved off. 'Remembering facts.'

'Physics?' Junpei had asked dryly, remembering the teen labouring over the calculations.

'...getting there.'

'Good.' He pulled out a textbook. 'Try your luck with these.'

Kouichi groaned, but did so anyway. And found he actually managed to complete the first two without help.

'See? You're getting there.'

He had smiled at that point, a real smile...which were now the only smiles they saw.

'Arigato.'

'Hey,' Junpei held up his arms. 'Don't thank me.'

'To all of you,' he amended, closing the book. 'But they're not here to hear.'

'They don't need to be.'

He thought about that for a moment. 'True.'

In just over one and a half years, he was almost fully recovered. He was still having problems with his short term memory, which seemed to be sadly permanent. Nor had his memory of that one fateful year ever returned, but everyone was thankful that it started after the school year, which meant the family bonding still remained in tact.

When Kouichi had teased, after about one and a half years, about Kouji being the elder brother (and he really looked it now, because nine months in a hospital bed had really stunted his growth) Kouji had good-naturedly whacked him on the head. That had led to accusations on both sides and a heart to heart discussion, from which, the same root emerged as Junpei and Izumi had alluded to.

And eventually, two and a half years after the initial downslide, they could truly say that time and this tale had managed to close its (admittedly rather wonky) circle, as he readied himself for the final dive into normalcy. Returning to school after that prolonged absence.

There had been a lot of discussion between the family and the school board, namely to what year he would be entering in to. He had completed a semester and did the work for about a third of the following one of seventh grade, but he had not completed more than half. However, he would be starting in the spring, which would force him to repeat the work he _had_ already covered, further delaying his education. In the end, they agreed to admit him into eighth grade, while his friends started tenth (except a certain sport fanatic), and he would simply have to work harder to bridge that final gap.


	30. Epilogue

**Author's Notes**

Okay, just a side note, in case I've muddled up my OCs somewhere. Minoru is blonde. Akihiro and Yoshiko are both brunettes.

And...that's it. Endings always seem somewhat bittersweet. So thank you to everyone to stuck with this story. And an extra big Arigato to Asarikou-chan for being there practically the whole way and pointing out a few things that would have otherwise snuck through plotholes. *sheepish* I need to keep better track of those.

Well, I can finally say it...

**Chapters remaining after this:** 0

Enjoy, and tell me what you think of this final installment of Sakura, Mono no Aware. And see you next update...or with my track record, next fic.

* * *

**Sakura, Mono no Aware**

He's always been in and out of hospitals. But that doesn't make it any easier, or more tolerable. Especially since he's going to be there for a while yet with hopes for recovery slimming – but at least there are friends and family to help him through...

Kouichi K & Kouji M

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**Epilogue**

'Hi,' Kouichi suddenly chirped, showing up behind Akihiro as the triplet sat down for lunch. Unfortunately for the brunette male, he had been balancing on two table legs at the time, and the sudden shock of hearing the voice outside of his own apartment sent him to the ground, almost with the contents of the cafeteria lunch atop him. Luckily though, the blonde managed to grab the tray before it followed its owner.

'What the hell are you doing here?' Akihiro spluttered, getting off the floor, face read from the laughter echoing around. Even his three friends were laughing. 'Shut it.'

'Gomen,' the raven apologized, slipping into the empty seat with his contents. 'I thought I mentioned I was coming back to school today.'

The two brunettes exchanged glances. 'No you didn't,' they said together, causing Minoru to roll his eyes.

'You would have known,' the tenth grader said, amused. 'If you two hadn't been so wrapped up in-'

'Shut up!' they both yelped, turning bright red, though for separate and unrelated reasons.

'What's up?' Kouichi asked, drawing a complete blank. Anyone else in his shoes would have probably jumped to the conclusion that they were dating. Which they weren't.

Minoru grinned. 'They've both been away at camp the whole of last week. That's why you couldn't reach them.'

'Oh…' The smaller boy's brow furrowed a bit. 'Why didn't anybody mention anything?'

'We did,' Yoshiko said, pulling away from her death glare on the blonde. 'You forgot.'

'Oh.' Something in his face changed a moment, before the happiness at returning overran that.

'So, how was the first day?'

'Apart from awkward and a little hectic, fine.'

'Hey,' Akihiro said suddenly. 'What class are you in anyway?'

'8B,' Kouichi replied. 'With Yagami-sensei.'

The female grinned at that. 'She's known you since you were a little kid staring at all her kittens. First thing she ask is how you are, cat-lover?'

'Nope. How Kyuukai is.'

'She would do that. Cat lover number one.'

'Seriously Yoshiko,' Akihiro groaned. 'Couldn't come up with anything better.'

'Like you could.'

'Should we stop them?' Minoru asked, before shaking his head. 'Ah, who am I kidding.' He looked at the raven, nibbling somewhat distractedly at his sandwich. 'Are you okay?'

Kouichi nodded, but didn't say anything. It touched him that everyone cared enough to ask, but even then, it tended to get annoying eventually. Not that he could blame them though; this wasn't something you could ever fully recover from and become the man, or in his case, child you once were. The world simply didn't flow both ways.

Minoru realised that, instead giving the other a critical comb. 'At least you'd pass off quite well as an eighth grader,' he commented. 'You're small enough.'

'Mmm,' the other mumbled, eyes focused downwards. 'Everyone was nice about it all though.'

'No-body bugging you?' Apparently, Akihiro and Yoshiko were done with their little snit.

'Nope,' the raven laughed. 'It's only been four periods anyway.'

'True enough,' Yoshiko agreed. 'How were your classes then? You coping alright.'

He laughed again, rather amused. 'You're acting just like 'kaa-san. They were fine. English was a little difficult, but nothing that can't be worked out.'

'Hang on a sec.' The brunette male held out a finger. 'Why are you in eighth grade? You never passed seventh.'

''cause the school board and my parents decided I could cope with it,' Kouichi replied, eyes still on his lap. 'I'm still going to be catching up with the work I'm missing in between in study hall.'

'Great,' the jock sighed, relieved. 'Company during those lone hours.'

'Cut the theatrics,' the blonde rolled his eyes. 'It's your own fault. I'm surprised you haven't flunked yet. Oh wait, you have, _ninth_ grader.'

Kouichi blinked and looked up. That was news to him, but before he could ask, the book was cleanly yanked out of his grip.

'Hah,' Akihiro crowed, waving it in Yoshiko's face. 'See? I told you. Still as absorbed with reading as ever.'

She face palmed her head, before taking the book off him. 'You haven't won yet,' she reminded glancing at the spine, before looking at the owner who looked rather confused and firing random questions after a brief skim.

Most of them were answered, except one where she had evidently skipped too far ahead.

'Drat.' She hit herself on the head, before returning the Japanese literature text. 'Remind me never to make a bet again regarding Kouichi and books.'

They all laughed. With her pride, they doubted that was ever going to happen.

The bell rang at that moment, momentarily freezing time.

The female turned to the dubbed "boomerang" of the group. 'Are you sure you're ready for this?' she asked.

'No,' the boy admitted. 'But I'm going to try anyway.'

'Attaboy,' Akihiro said, patting his hair. 'And don't forget us.'

'Of course not. I have no chance of falling in that thick mesh of family, right? No matter how many stumbling blocks along the way, there'll always be a foothold too.'

'Exactly.'

'But-' Minoru began, before understanding grew in his eyes.

'Whoever said there needed to be blood shared for there to be a family?'

_**~ Owari ~ **_


End file.
